- Do we need some ID from him to make sure that he's legit?
- I know.
(laughing)
- You sure?
Let's see some ID here!
- Doogie Howser, that's the nickname. (chuckling)
(relaxed EDM music)
Outside of knowing that everyone has forever
called me Doogie Howser,
I had no idea who Doogie Howser was.
I didn't know how it was even spelled.
I'm excited to watch it.
Let's flick it on.
Is it a weird way to say it?
(cracking up) Let's flick it on.
- Let's turn around.
There's been an accident.
Just pull over here.
What are you doing?
There's the car.
Stop at once. - [Mrs. Howser] Doogie.
- [Driving Instructor] Improper speed.
- [Mrs. Howser] Doogie, you're going too fast.
- Unacceptably excessive.
- Please Doogie, slow down.
- [Driving Instructor] For God's sake, what are you doing?
This is unacceptable.
Return to the vehicle!
- Return to the vehicle!
(crowd chattering) (Sirens blaring)
- Get the hell out of there, kid.
- Let go of me.
- [Officer] Walt, grab this kid, will ya?
- Get your hands off me.
- You want to go to jail?
- No, you'll be going to jail for criminal negligence.
This man has a dislocated fracture of the femur
and he's going to lose his leg unless I fix it right away.
Now hold his torso down while I rotate his leg.
- What the hell are you talking about?
- [Doogie] There's no pulse behind the knee.
He'll lose his leg to gang green.
- We're not moving this--
- Just hold it down!
(laughing loudly)
- I can't believe I've never watched this.
Looks like he's had some sort of motorcycle accident
or bicycle accident
but he's saying there's a fracture of the femur,
which is the big thigh bone,
which is a very, very strong bone, by the way,
stronger than cement.
He's saying that it's fractured but then also dislocated,
which, incorrect terminology,
you would say displaced fracture,
which means that the bones don't connect.
And sometimes when there's a displaced fracture like that,
it can put pressure on arteries,
therefore cut off circulation.
Very dangerous, not because of gang green though.
Gang green is when you get an infection
from a lack of circulation.
In this case, what the danger would be
is that the leg would lose circulation
and necrose from a lack of oxygenation, not from infection.
So what he's doing is right in a sense,
but for the wrong reasons,
at least he explained the wrong reasons.
- You ready?
(indistinct police radio chatter)
(laughing)
Okay, we're getting some circulation.
(laughing) I love that the jeans are still on
and yet he already knows that he's getting some circulation.
Doogie, you're better than that.
- Who is this kid?
- That's my son.
The doctor.
"Whiz Kid Breezed Thru High School in 9 Weeks".
All right, that's a little extra.
"Princeton Graduates 10 Year Old Prodigy"
"14 Year Old Passes Medical Board.
"Kid Doctor Can't Buy Beer, Can Prescribe Drugs."
"Kid Doctor Delivers Baby in Shopping Mall."
Sexiest doctor saves life on plane,
kid doctor delivers baby in shopping mall,
it's pretty funny on the similarity.
And look, I get that this is a TV show
and it's supposed to be funny and all that.
Here's why this would never happen.
You may know a lot of information
but your judgment and your development of your judgment
doesn't happen til a little bit later in life
because of your neurological development, AKA your brain.
This child may know everything there is to know
about medicine, probably more than most other doctors,
but that judgment factor, that really comes with experience.
- William Johnson, black male, age six,
admitted 5:32am with cardiomyopathy and failure.
We did a chest x-ray, EKG, and an echocardiogram.
He has a murmur of mitral insufficiency.
I gave him Digoxin 0.125 milligrams,
Lasix 20 milligrams BID,
and Aldactone 12.5 milligrams BID.
Also I'd like to send him to nuclear medicine
for a cardiac scan at 9:30.
- Thank you, Doctor Howser.
- That was actually a very legitimate presentation
of someone who's suffering with cardiomyopathy.
When the heart gets overwhelmed,
there's a wide variety of conditions
of why the heart can get overwhelmed.
You can develop a condition
known as congestive heart failure,
where the heart just literally
doesn't pump blood effectively.
In that case, you get a buildup of fluid around the lungs,
in the lower extremities,
and you need to take medications
that will help you get rid of that excess fluid.
Now the biggest way to control this,
at least what we do in our offices outside of medications,
is lifestyle changes,
with one of the most important
being decreasing sodium intake for these patients.
In fact, one of the leading causes
of patients to be readmitted into the hospital
for a congestive heart failure exacerbation
is eating take out because it's so high in sodium.
Isn't that crazy?
(giggling)
I always have water gun fights with my patients.
- Well, William, you're not feeling too well, are you?
- No, sir.
- Not to worry, young man.
We're going to make you feel much better.
We might even give you a new heart.
What do you say to that?
- Am I going to die?
- Hey, no way, forget that.
We're going to fix you up
so we can get a really sick kid in here.
His renal function's decreased.
His creatinine is elevated.
He can't survive a transplant.
- According to these test results, he most certainly can.
The boy's mother's already given her consent.
- [Doogie] On your recommendation.
But statistically, he's got a better chance
if we just repair the valve.
- Basically what they're arguing about
is the steps on which to take to fix the young boy's heart.
The reason the young boy's heart is in cardiac failure
is because he has an impaired valve.
This is the value that sits in between
the chambers of the heart, the atrium and the ventricle.
When the heart pumps, it opens,
and then when the heart relaxes, it closes
to make sure that the blood doesn't always
pool at the bottom of the heart.
Now if this valve is not working properly,
it can put a lot of strain on different parts of the heart,
therefore making the heart essentially function
at a much lower rate, which is deadly.
For this child,
because his heart isn't pumping blood effectively,
it's affecting his kidneys.
His kidneys aren't getting enough blood
and therefore are slowly failing.
One of the most important factors
in deciding whether or not to operate on somebody
is their chance of having side effects from surgery,
which means decreased blood flow,
possible chance of infection, renal failure.
Doogie Howser's right in this case, at least in my mind.
The child's a very high-risk patient
and it's better to repair the valve first
and then go ahead with the possible heart transplant
later on.
- You're going to kill him!
- [Doctor] Douglas-- - And you don't give a crap!
- Doctor Howser, you will behave.
- Don't talk to me like you're my father.
You're not.
September 21st, 1989--
- Oh my god, I wasn't even born yet!
- [Doogie] My 16th birthday.
- When was Doogie Howser was 16, I wasn't born.
- Are you ready for this?
Janine Stewart gives.
- Get out.
- Sex, Doogie.
Tomorrow night, after the dance.
Wampa wampa.
- Yeah, you said the same thing
about Susie Berlooty last year and--
- Hey, Susie Berlooty was in the bag.
If I hadn't puked on her shoe, it would've happened.
- Sure, Vinnie.
- Hey you're just jealous, pencil neck,
'cause I'm gonna get sex and never even kissed a girl.
- I've kissed plenty.
- Name one.
- Wanda Plenn, tomorrow night.
- Oh yeah, right.
- I'm going to do it during a slow dance.
It's all figured out.
I'm going to tell her her hair smells great.
Then I'm going to lean in and sniff her shampoo.
Girls love getting sniffed.
Then-- - Girls love getting sniffed.
I doubt that very much.
- I come in here, an emergency,
expecting a qualified physician
and I get a 16 year-old kid.
That's negligence, pure and simple.
- If you could just hold still a little, Mr. Finklestein.
- You'll be holding still for a big, fat lawsuit
in a federal court.
16 years old.
I'll add a count for infliction of emotional distress.
- Well, I'm sorry you feel this way, sir,
but as an attorney,
you must know there's no duty owed by the hospital
with respect to the age of its doctors,
nor is there any proximate cause
connecting me to the harm suffered.
And if you even could make out
a prima facie case of negligence,
you don't have diversity jurisdiction
to get this into federal court.
- Why am I getting a 16 year-old?
Maybe let him perform the procedure first,
or not perform the procedure and threaten to sue
in the middle of the procedure?
Not making much sense there, pal.
- I like younger men, Doogie.
I always have.
- Is he a man, though?
- And on a few occasions,
I've caught you, well, admiring me.
- We should probably get back to the ER.
- And I was just wondering,
given our mutual attraction towards each other,
and given the fact that we'd probably function better,
professionally, if those attractions were extinguished,
it might make sense for our respective fantasies
to be quenched.
- Huh?
(murmurring)
Doogie-munster.
- Whoa!
- [Doogie] Nurse Spalding.
- This is aggressive.
for a 16 year-old. - There's just one thing
I have to tell you before we do this.
- What's that?
- Happy birthday, Doogie!
- [Hospital Staff] Surprise!
Oh my god.
("Happy Birthday") I did not expect that.
That made no sense.
She takes off his pants and says happy birthday
and all these people appear while he's pants-less.
(cracking up) I need an explanation for this.
- It's only a joke.
- Okay, forget it.
- [Doctor] You sure?
- No problem, really.
- It's just that you're such a good doctor,
we sometimes forget you're only 16 years old.
- That is the worst line ever!
They would've done that to a 21 year-old doctor
or a 30 year-old doctor, take off his pants?
What's going on in this hospital?
- No toe tag, that's great.
I don't how so many bodies get in here--
(screaming)
(laughing)
- All right, Vinnie!
- Whoa, that was a weird handshake.
What was that?
That was weird.
- I'm scared.
- Don't be.
Getting a new heart's going to be so prime.
- Will you be there when I get it?
- Are you kiddin'?
No way I'd miss it.
- Not going to lie, he's pretty good with the bedside manner
for being 16 years old.
He's empathetic, he let's the patient voice their concerns,
responds adequately to the concerns, is very reassuring.
Sniff is working.
The sniff is working.
(slow music)
(laughing) Oh, don't do it!
Don't do it!
Doogie, don't do it.
(laughing) It's so creepy, ew.
Oh but apparently it worked for little Doogie.
Oh no.
Oh no!
- What happened?
- He was asleep in his bed
when he suddenly started to fibrillate.
- That means the heart is pumping like this,
where it's not efficient
and not enough blood is leaving the heart.
Essentially, the patient's in code blue
and they're in cardiac arrest.
(slamming)
- I'm sorry, Dr. Howser.
I guess there was just nothing
either one of us could have done.
- Losing a patient is really hard,
whether or not you're 16 years old or 36 years old.
It never really changes.
It's always difficult, especially if you made a decision
that then affected a patient in a negative way.
It's going to be a lot to deal with
as he continues in his medical career,
being so young and inexperienced.
- The first time I lost a young patient,
I cried like a baby.
As you get older, you learn to handle it.
- I don't want to handle it.
- If you're going to be a doctor, you'll have to.
- Crying when you have a negative patient outcome
is totally appropriate
and as we've gotten more information on the matter
and have done research and looked into this,
we find that patients actually appreciate
seeing doctors' emotional reactions to these situations,
so that if you're going to cry with a patient, that's good.
Many times, 20, 30 years ago,
doctors would try to hide this, go in another room,
because they viewed themselves as unprofessional
if they showed their emotions.
But sharing an emotional moment
with a patient or the patient's family
is actually quite beneficial
in healing to everyone involved.
(hopeful music)
As a doctor, there's no bigger moment in your life
than when you lose your first patient.
As a young boy, kissing your first partner
is also one of the biggest moments in your life.
So for him to go through both in the same day
and he just got his driver's license,
it must be quite emotional for him, to say the least.
That's the like the biggest factor of this show,
and I know I'm reviewing a show
that's supposed to be part-funny and part-serious,
that's what would stop or preclude a young person
from becoming a doctor so early, that emotional maturity,
the ability to be disciplined,
that when someone tells you something
and they're being unfair, to be able to deal with it,
to have a proper level of empathy and communication.
So I don't foresee a true Doogie Howser
coming any time soon
but I will be excited to watch more of the show.
If you enjoyed Doogie Howser,
definitely check out this video, it's a total blast.
As always, stay happy and healthy
and let's do the dance.
(hypnotic EDM music)