[CHEERING]
ALL RIGHT, GET UP.
[LAUGHTER]
THE MEDIA AND DEMOCRATS, A
PITIFUL PART.
FIRST THIS GUY.
>> I WILL SAY THIS ONLY SEVEN
TIMES.
LISTEN GOOD.
I WANT TO TO MAKE UP DIRT ON MY
POLITICAL OPPONENT.
DON'T CALL ME AGAIN.
I'LL CALL YOU WHEN YOU'VE DONE
WHAT I ASKED.
THIS IS WHAT THE PRESIDENT WAS
TRYING TO COMMUNICATE.
>> NO, IT WASN'T.
YOU MADE THAT UP.
YOUR DEFENSE --
>> THE PRESIDENT'S CALL WAS
MEANT TO BE AT LEAST IN PART
PARITY, THE FACT THAT IT'S NOT
CLEAR IS A SEPARATE PROBLEM IN
AND OF ITSELF.
>> I GET IT, IT'S OUR FAULT.
[LAUGHTER]
WITH THE ADULTS WHO DIDN'T
UNDERSTAND.
HE DOES HAVE A POINT, THERE'S A
HARD TIME TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN HIM AND A DOG.
THIS IS ADAM SCHIFF.
[LAUGHTER]
HE'S SO STIFF, KISSING HIM IS
CONSIDERED NECROPHILIA.
[LAUGHTER]
I HEAR WHAT HE FROM TOY STORY IS
STILL DEMANDING A FRATERNITY
TEST.
PATERNITY TEST.
YOU LOOK AT THE FAMILY TREE, YOU
FIND A FAMILY OF TREES.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT THE REASON HE GETS AWAY WITH
BEING AN IDIOT BECAUSE HIS
ALLIES MAKE HIM LOOK SAME.
>> HE CAN'T WIN THE
WITHOUT FOREIGN INTERFERENCE.
HE DOESN'T HAVE INTEREST IN
TRYING.
>> WE SEE IT, THERE'S AN
EXTORTIONIST TRYING TO GET A
FOREIGN GOVERNMENT AND.
>> YOU SEE THIS IN MOVIES, YOU
SEE BOB DOING, IS THIS SOMETHING
PRESIDENTS DO?
>> WE DO NOT SEE THIS FROM
PRESIDENT.
>> THAT COMPARISON AGAIN.
WHAT DOES THE MAFIA GET THAT THE
DEMOCRATS DON'T?
RESPECT.
WHO WHAT CHINA RATHER NOT
NEGOTIATE WITH?
MAFIA OR GRAD STUDENT MAJORING
AND MOPING?
MAFIA BOSS OR A GUY WHO FORGETS
WHERE HE PUTS HIS PANTS?
[LAUGHTER]
MAFIA OR ANOTHER GUY WHO FORGETS
WHERE HE PUTS HIS PANTS.
MAFIA BOSS OR THE LADY WHO
SHUSHES YOU AT THE LIBRARY.
[LAUGHTER]
ANY ENEMY WOULD PREFER THOSE
OVER TRUMP.
FOR US, WE'LL TAKE GOTTI OVER
GANDHI.
THEY PRETEND THEY REACH
IMPEACHMENT EVEN THOUGH THEY'VE
BEEN SNORTING THAT DRUG FOR
THREE YEARS.
WHICH IS WHY WE CAN'T TAKE IT
SERIOUSLY WITHOUT FIRST
ACKNOWLEDGING IS ORCHESTRATED BY
THE MEDIA.
WHEN THEY RELEASE A TRANSCRIPT,
IT SOUNDED LIKE ANOTHER CALL
BETWEEN TRUMP AND JUST ABOUT
EVERYBODY.
YOU HAVE THE FLOWERY
CONGRATULATION STUFF.
TRUMP COMPLAINS, AS ALWAYS,
ABOUT AMERICAN SPENDING MONEY
WHILE OTHER COUNTRIES DON'T.
THEN HE ASKED THEM TO LOOK INTO
ELECTION MEDDLING.
YOU'D THINK THE MEDIA WOULD
SUPPORT TRUMP THE MEDIA :
CAN ONLY BE INVESTIGATED.
OUR DIRTY DOSSIER.
MAYBE TRUMP SHOULDN'T HAVE
BROUGHT US SLEEPY JOKE BUT
THAT'S TRUMP, I'M SURPRISED HE
DIDN'T MENTION LOW ENERGY.
THEY TURNS THE FROM THE
CONVERSATION INTO EXTORTION.
THEY'RE TRYING TO IMPEACH HIS
PERSONALITY REALLY.
WILL AMERICANS SEE THROUGH THIS?
UNIDENTIFIED GUY WITH A
POLITICAL FIVE BRINGS IN A
COMPLAINT ABOUT WHAT HE HEARD
SECONDHAND FROM A PHONE CALL?
FIRST WEEK TO THE PRESS WHO
TAKES THE HEARSAY OR A
TRANSCRIPT?
THEY PREFER HEARSAY OVER REAL
WORDS.
IT'S LIKE RELYING ON A PSYCHIC
FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN YOUR CAR HAS
GPS.
[LAUGHTER]
THAT'S LIKE CHOOSING TOFU OVER
STEAK OR LENNY OVER JIMI
HENDRIX.
[LAUGHTER]
THE MEDIA BLAMES TRUMP FOR
SECURING TRANSCRIPTS AFTER THEY
GOBBLED UP LEAKS OF PREVIOUS
ONES.
THIS IS BUSINESS AS USUAL.
IT'S A BUSINESS TO THE MEDIA,
IT'S A MONEY MILL.
RATINGS POP, NOBODY DIES.
UNLESS YOU COUNT AMERICA
DEMOCRACY.
THEY WERE SHOUTING IMPEACHMENT
EVEN BEFORE THEY COULD WALK.
EVER SINCE TRUMP ENTERED OFFICE,
AN OUTSIDER WHO SOMEHOW GOT
INSIDE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIKE
HIM AT ALL TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S
HAPPENING.
IT'S ABOUT THAT FACT THAT
SOMEONE CLOSER TO YOU THAN THEM
MADE INTO THE OVAL OFFICE.
FIRST, IT CAN'T BE PERMITTED.
THEY MUST BE RESISTED.
[APPLAUSE]
EVEN IF THE PHONE CALL NEVER
HAPPENED, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN