tamanna morning to you laddies and
welcome back to little bit bit life
welcome back to funny perfidy bits
Patrick's welcome back to Patty
Fitzpatrick's life our 26 year old who
just had penis enlargement surgery and
it went very well
the second time the first time not so
well the first time they nipped off a
little bit second time they just put it
back on so they said it was a success
but really just try to pull the wool
over my eyes
but I am a keen little eyed Irishman I
know what's going on what are my
relationships well first of all
happiness is that 100% that's great
we've been trying to get him up to a
hundred percent happiness for a really
long time and now we finally hit it
health 98% that's great
Smart's ninety-two percent take that
teachers in secondary school who said
I'd never amount to nothing because of a
stupid father and looks 50% we're we're
half a potato half George Clooney which
i think is good I think you need to be
in that middle road if you're too
good-looking people don't trust you and
if you're okay no one will talk to you
so you need to be right right down that
middle right down that center all right
how my relationships doing I have Keira
Hughes who's my fiance we're not gonna
view my exes okay they can stay in the
fiery pits of hell for all I care we
have silver the cat I have a cat now in
real life I am cat dad so let's see what
we can do it our cat a cat does not like
us my real cat here really likes me BB
came up to me today I'm sitting down as
playing Dark Souls and BB came up and me
out in my face and then just hopped up
on up and flopped on top of me and kind
of fell asleep and start pouring it was
the nicest thing ever I stopped
everything that I was doing to make sure
that this tiny little furry friend was
okay let's not bathe our cat because
it'll probably kill us give them a treat
oh good appreciation is my relationship
with you better now a little bit yeah
it's nothing too orange anymore you know
one too orange
you want to green all right what should
we do
I have my job I'm down to thirty 2630
euro but I do think we bought a house at
me I bought a modern contemporary home
for 176,000 Europe that's absolutely
wonderful
find someone to love no should we go to
the movies let's work on
self-improvement let's let's meditate
let's start off the day nicely a little
meditation grand lovely great karamja me
looks haven't gone up on me health has
went up 2% in health just for meditating
you know why because it's mental you're
50% physical and you're 50% mental
actually you're probably about 70
percent mental and the rest of you is
just a heaving Cask of bones and flesh
and sinew trying to keep you going but
the brain is really important but no one
takes care of it as well as they should
also your ears are really important my
tinnitus has gotten so bad lately you
have to go see my doctor about it but
they won't get back to me my tinnitus
and I have to travel soon so my tonight
is gotten so bad that lying in bed at
night I can hear right now it's just
constantly people out there please take
care of your ears do not think that
you're too cool to wear earplugs at
concerts or anything like that please
take care of your ears they really mean
a lot I didn't have problems until I was
like 18 and I went to a concert and now
at 29 I'm paying for it so please take
care of yourselves job what should we do
we're a mail carrier I do feel like I
could be doing better my co-workers
popularity Oh shite my supervisor oh no
my supervisor doesn't like me
maybe I should work harder nah working
harder in a way to get your boss to like
you use it to pay them compliments and
suck up nice nice how are we doing now
what's my relationship with them out
nice Liam Liam why don't you like me I'm
not gonna ask me about I'm betrothed to
my lady what was her name I can't
remember my fiancees name but you know
what if you put her in the lineup I
might be able to pick her out that's
compliment Liam good job yes everything
is going well nice my coworker Eve why
don't you like me you're a bus driver in
a way that matters but you're a bus
driver I'm just calling out the things I
see okay everyone's in
Green that's lovely that okay the job is
going well let's see what my hours are
like pick your hours am i working 38
right now let's work 40 let's work a
little harder a little stronger a little
faster and let's see what happens let's
let's check out my assets I need to go
to source media I need to post a status
update I got 20 likes on it if if people
don't like my posts online how will know
if people like me at all I have a trophy
great modern contemporary home it's in
decent condition I'm not going to settle
it yet we could go to a job recruiter
let the job recruiter find the best
possible full-time position for your
skill set today
what can Patti do except have his
parents split up his dog died get
rejected there's a lot he can't do okay
let's try it top recruiter the job
recruiter has identified the position of
apprentice trucker an abstract
transportation as a good fit for your
skill set and is already arranged an
interview for you I don't want to do
that it's only 38 O's in a year what am
i on right now my hours right now it
means that I get fifty four thousand a
year and all I'm doing is delivering
mail I'm not gonna be out in the road
away from my sweetie for a really long
time
okay let's age up but 41,000 now there
dog each day on your main route you have
to deliver mail to a house with an
aggressive dog that is rarely contained
what will you do I am an animal
whisperer I told you earlier BB just
came up flopped down fell asleep I know
what I'm doing I'm gonna prevent the dog
I decided to print an aggressive dog on
my mail route in order to build a trust
and prevent him from being so mean
did it work I don't know but I went up
and looks you know why because people
love a dog lover people like someone who
likes dogs if you don't like dogs you're
not gonna have any friends please take
everything I say in this let's play very
seriously relationships let's talk to
Kira let's not ask her for money give
her a compliment
he's older fiance kiri that she's
fearless
oh she didn't like that now I I don't
know why Kira why didn't you like that
it spared a compliment again I said that
she's unparalleled well maybe because
your compliments kind of sound like
you're forced in them a small bit they
need to be more personalised after your
fiance you can't go up and go like that
thing you did today good job proud of
you that it means nothing you can't just
go up and go you're fearless it sounds
like you're reading stuff off the back
of those love hard candies let's have a
conversation with her see she likes
conversation you talked about your
favorite food you opened up you got real
with it it's not forced fake
pleasantries I had a bite patty fair
[ __ ] play it to you all right
let's talk to our stepfather let's see
if he used to like this let's have a
conversation with him your set powder
doesn't feel like talking to you
you know what I've extended olive branch
after olive branch
I asked about to go to McDonald's one
time and he said no I hate Big Macs and
I'm like what so I'm done I'm done with
John Murray William Fitzpatrick is the
only father for me have a conversation
with him you see you and your father had
a chat about Frida Kahlo's mustache it's
not the most intellectual of
conversations but it's real no your cat
silver died at the age of 15 she died
after ingesting some antifreeze that had
been left out I've perfects it Kyra you
don't even know the antifreeze again I
told you the cat's gonna eat it no it
just looks like a slushy the cat's
thought no difference fake sick no
Silver's dead [ __ ] sake first my cat
normally they're first like dog now my
cat Lord of mercy on us Jesus Christ my
happiness is 50% I need to do something
for myself I need I need to I need to go
to meditate apparently okay I still not
that happy let's go to the movies can we
go to the movies with our sweetie pie
yeah with the movies with her takers of
the theater film spilling the tea a
James Charles short story your enjoyment
was feck all she enjoyed it a bit well
I'm still at 50
4% I need something to make me happy
let's go to the movies again on my own
is go see a comedy Kevin Jones relocates
to rule o Florida that is a [ __ ]
terrible name for a movie yeah up the
62% I already forgot about my dad cat
apparently
Oh No your fiancee Kira I'm 29 in the
game now your fiancee Kira is demanding
you get married you have been engaged
for three years what will you do you're
demanding that we get married how about
we do it when were good and ready
how about we have a conversation first
Kira huh I know I'm looking into the
camera as if I'm engaged to you
I like how you either call off the
engagement
break up with her or plan the wedding
what if we're not financially stable for
this Kira I don't know about this you
know I I'm I'm not going to be forced
into doing something that I don't want
to do all right I'm not gonna do the
things just because you want to do Oh
Beckett I planned the wedding anyway oh
she wants a wedding huh she wentz a
wedding huh oh I'll give her a second
wedding all right we're getting we're
getting married on the beach you know
what you wanted the wedding you didn't
say how good it had to be we're getting
married on the beach because you're
gonna get sand in your in your toes it's
not gonna be nice got him and it's going
to be where is the shittiest place to
get married you know what no honeymoon
we can't afford it I just I just came up
in the world in my job all right I'm not
doing that you've chosen to marry Kira
Hughes and the beach and hop out over
the honeymoon cost a thousand euro
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that's how you cheap out in a wedding I
realize that they keep trying to make
decisions or I keep going through it in
my head to make the decisions that I
would make in real life and then I'm
like but it's a [ __ ] video game and
it doesn't matter and I can do whatever
I want and this is far more entertaining
for the video I do it why not let's see
how much she enjoys it you're thinking
about whether you should make your
fiance Kira sign a prenuptial agreement
before marrying her what will you do
your net worth is two hundred and sixty
four thousand euro her net worth is 110
thousand or I'm not having her to come
after my mail Carrie and money are a
make her sign a prenup she made me get
married
agreed to sign the prenuptial agreement
fair payday that's true of nothing says
true love like a prenuptial agreement
your wife has decided to keep her name
Kiera Hughes yeah that's fair I wouldn't
go with patty Fitzpatrick either Kiera
Fitzpatrick is a nice ring to it though
if you went down to the chippers on a
Friday night it'd be like I there comes
here and out looker a quack way oh that
I guess we're married I like I like the
way it says things this is why I like
making these decisions because it says I
made Kiera sign a prenup I married Kiera
at the beach I couldn't be bothered to
go on their honeymoon with her this
honestly this sounds like a real
Irishman Kiera Hugh's wife doesn't have
a nice ring to it
Kiera whose wife gran she's 29 as well
now you're 29 in the game I'm 29 in real
life you're 29
right now you're all honorary 29
year-olds all right you're almost
becoming 30 so it's time to get your
life in order do you know who you are
yet it's okay if you don't going into
your thirties you still have time to
figure it out you're not dead yet
hopefully knock on wood that was a mouse
mat that's wood or at least some sort of
type of it
you and your wife Kiera talked about who
would win in a fight between Mark
Zuckerberg and Elon Musk we all know
that Elon would beat the crap out of
Mark Zuckerberg all right he has people
show up on stage and throw steel balls
of plate glass windows and they break
them
imagine imagine how much Mark Zuckerberg
would cower in fear nothing like a
little bit of fear to make a paper man
crumble all right let's go to a job
recruiter again and see if he is a
different job the job recruiter has
identified the position of porta potti
pumper at hourglass Inc as a good fit
for your skill set
I'm 29 I've worked a lot I got married
bought a house and apparently all I'm
good for is pumping porta-potties
they've hit you heard man no I'm gonna
find my own job I'm gonna be a vet
okay maybe not Dental Hygienist huh
okay so we're gonna miss on that one
engineer here we go yeah engineer three
okay maybe delivering mail is all I'm
good for
there's nothing like a blow to your
self-esteem than seeing all the jobs you
interviewed for and seeing them all
aligned and all rejected at the same
time all right let's age up let's turn
30
are you ready for the next stage of your
life and 58% unlocks now my happiness
has gone down to small because I'm
probably working myself into the ground
can reject about everything i'ma catch
is died and I was forced into a wedding
but my looks are going up I'm agent like
a fine wine Robyn Jenkins your coworker
Robin tells you that when it comes to
working with you she would like to take
a hands-on approach what are you trying
to say Robin what are you flirting with
me Robin
I am a married what I can't
what if Karen found out I'm going to
report you to HR someone's getting in
trouble you reported your coworker Robin
to HR for making a sexual advance on you
take that Robin you got reprimanded by
HR Oh Robin lunged at you she bruised
your ankle [ __ ]
I thought she stabbed me for a second
Robin you [ __ ] you know what I'm glad
I rejected you know if that's what it
takes
coming in here kicking me in the ankles
what are you six posting about this in
social media
Robin kick my ankle today and it really
hurts Keira put a bag ice and it thought
I loved her I'm suffering from the flu
faked it anyway I have to bother the
doctor doctor doctor can you see me now
Sikh Western medicine Yes Doctor
Oshin Reis her own Chien that's how you
say those names by the way Oshin and own
go down Irish names dr. Sheehan's
reputation though was quite high
doctor doctor Oshin has determined you
were currently suffering from the flu
well they knew that doctor thanks
they spend all that time in medical
school to tell me that he is out laying
the following treatments courtesy of
Ireland's free health care system
come on the Irish and the buys you're no
longer suffering from the flu you see
good healthcare you go in
Owens like I spent ages in the doctors
College figured out what I wanted to do
it like you have the flu it's gonna cost
you nothing because good healthcare and
then suddenly it's like no flu anymore
strikes see this game has it figured out
Ireland has it figured out in a video
game capacity life is going well right
now happiness 100% health hundred
percent happy and healthy is that the
thing people always say my smarts you
know what you don't be too smart people
won't trust you my looks are 67% I'll go
with a grand just above-average looks so
I think it's time to do a crime crime
segment should we try and steal a car or
is that is that like going too far maybe
we should murder someone maybe we should
go back and murder Robin for kicking us
in the ankle let's steal a car what do
we want Ford Mustang yes I like a
Mustang no what am I thinking you're
thinking clearly you're happy you're
healthy it's time to do a crime you
successfully stole a Ford Mustang this
game is really teaching is really high
moral standards you get happy you get
healthy get married and then you steal a
car and you get no repercussions wow
thanks bit life oh no my broken and my
stolen cars have broken stereo what am I
gonna do about it spend a tiny little
bit of money I'd rather spend a tiny
little bit money on the stereo instead
of spending all the money on the car all
right I think it's time we went back to
school I'm not getting a great job like
this I need to go back to school I need
to go to night classes or something what
should we do University Community
College graduate
oh no dental school no I want like I
want like a big one I want to get a
college degree in computer science I
want to apply to NASA well I was
rejected from college
just put another notch on the belt I
can't even go back and do the the degree
I was doing your application to graduate
school was rejected you're not qualified
I'm not qualified for the thing I was
already qualifying for how high did you
say my smarts were 91% doesn't seem like
it okay I graduated from Community
College how old am I I don't know time
is against me now on this one you know
what it's not he can go back to school
whatever you want don't listen to me I
went to college twice take some time off
go to university go to university okay
let's now apply to computer science yes
how will you pay for your university
program annual tuition is 15,000 total
cost is 60 grand you know what I'm a
splash that cash all down on the table
boom paying for my own college tuition
what up you are now enrolled in
university yes your wife Karen's
pregnant with your baby yeah we're gonna
have a little tiny jackaboy oh hell oh I
patty it's not my life this is someone
else's life I'm gonna call the baby Joe
come boy keep the baby yeah keep the
baby what do you want to do with the
baby repair the baby fix the baby later
your stolen car has a faulty oxygen
sensor the [ __ ] is an oxygen sensor in a
Ford Mustang repaired whatever I have
the morning your half-sister fate has
confessed to you that she's considering
coming out of the closet what will you
do support her unconditionally you
encouraged your half-sister fate to come
out of the closet and told her that you
love and support her no matter what life
is going great in bit life right now
this is wonderful everything's come at
my cat still dead but look at my
happiness health and smarts I'm the
smartest happiest healthiest man on
earth right now I'm still not the best
looking but I'll settle for the others
you graduated from university with an
undergrad
degree in computer science I released
from your position as lab assistant oh
because I was taking a part-time job no
your wife Kiera suffered a second
trimester miscarriage and lost the baby
decided to impede life
sad day in bit life today folks I can't
make you just can't do it
I can't go out not again why does
everything I love leave me not like this
you are I can't I can't no turn the
camera off I can't no get it out
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