You were always told to be nice.
Which typically means being agreeable
helping others, even when
it's inconvenient for you, or you don't want to
and prioritizing the needs of others.
When I put it that way,
is it a surprise when I tell you that
being nice is hurting your career?
Fancy new skill I acquired: mind reading!
And I know what you're thinking...
But if I'm too nice, does that mean I have to be mean?
Absolutely not!
Because I'm a big believer in being kind to people,
even people you don't like but we need to
break down the nice behaviors at work that
are making people see you as a doormat instead
of the high potential professional you are.
If that sounds good, tap that like button
and let's jump straight into it.
The first nice behavior at work to nix you need to
stop saying yes to everything.
Meet your new BFF: the word no.
How many of you are terrified to say no at work,
whether it's when your boss wants you to work late,
your coworker asked you to take on some of their work
and isn't gonna give you any credit for it
or being asked to take notes in a meeting. Again.
You've been too nice to say no,
which has left you boundaryless at work,
which is not a place you want to be.
You know my feelings on boundaries at work.
There's something that's really important.
In fact, I'm actually even going to put it onto
Instagram so that you can save it, screenshot it,
do whatever you need to do with it.
An ask is not an obligation.
And you can say:
That doesn't work for me.
Have you asked Chad to pitch in?
And also remember, no is a complete sentence.
Now that doesn't mean that we ditch diplomacy
when saying no to things at work.
There is an art to this.
If you'd like me to make a video on what to say no
to or how to say no what work?
Let me know in the comments down below.
But this actually brings us to our second
nice behavior at work we need to get rid of:
stop helping other people and start helping yourself.
You're generous and thoughtful and awesome.
So of course, you're going to help your coworkers
But you're helping so much you're hurting your own career.
For example, how many times have you helped a coworker
and not gotten any credit for the work?
And then they got a promotion and praise because of it?
Better question: How many times
have you sacrificed making your own impact
to help someone else out?
I want to be clear, this does not mean that you never
help anyone ever again. But the shift I want you
to make here it's I want you to be
strategic about helping coworkers.
Do you have time?
Does it benefit you?
Does it give you an opportunity to showcase your UAQ?
And if you don't know what your UAQ,
grab the UAQ Starter Kit down below.
Most importantly, when you're helping a coworker
remember that you are doing a favor.
Favors are powerful currency in the corporate world.
Are you calling in those favors?
Because if all of your generosity is completely one sided,
you're not getting an ROI on your time and effort.
At this point, you're probably concerned...
If you start saying no and you stop helping,
are you heading for conflict?
Well, that brings us to the next nice behavior at work
you need to nix, and if you don't,
the workplace villains are going to walk all over you.
Stop avoiding conflict.
Whether it's not speaking you on about a bad idea.
Well, I guess we can try it that way putting up
with insults or attacks from a coworker
Um, thanks????
or being interrupted in meetings
Uhhh, I wasn't done.
You need to speak up for yourself.
This doesn't mean that you need to confront
and take down every infraction remember,
kindness can be not wanting your team to go
down the wrong rabbit hole when you know better,
teaching Chad to be more professional
and confidently sharing your ideas in meetings.
Does this sometimes put you in conflict?
Yes, but it doesn't need to be a bad thing.
Conflict can be incredibly productive.
as long as you're prepared for it.
The way I see it is that conflict is really an invitation
to effectively communicate, which actually
brings us to our next nice behavior.
We need to stop doing at work:
Stop with a weak speak.
It's possible to be too nice to get your point across.
The mistake I see nice professionals make is
that they're being too nice to get their point across.
For example,
Do you think it would be possible
if it's not too inconvenient
for maybe someone to take a look
at that bug today??
versus
The customer needs an update
on the bug report by 12pm today.
Being direct does not mean that you need to be rude
or come across as a jerk.
We can keep it kind and professional.
Ultimately, when you're communicating as
concisely and clearly as possible.
You're actually mitigating the risk of
any misunderstanding which can save you
a lot of headaches down the road.
And this actually brings us to our final
nice behavior at work we need to talk about...
you need to stop equating being nice with being likable.
These two are not the same thing.
You think if you're nice people will like you,
but will they and when you're too nice and
they're walking all over you.
Will they respect to?
This is why we need to stop conflating
being nice with being likable.
They may be correlated but they're
not necessarily causational
Be honest.
There are probably a lot of people who are nice
that you do not like and vice versa.
Y'all know I can be a bit salty and you still like me.
In fact, that might be why you like me.
That said a lot of high potential professionals
that I work with are very worried that if
they're not nice that they won't be liked at work
and if this is something that you're worried about,
what I would encourage you to do is focus on likability
boosters instead of being too nice to everyone at work.
And these likeability boosters are remarkably easy.
You can go to this video right now and learn them all.
But before you go if this video helped you
please give it a thumbs up.
It really helps my channel,
makes you my favorite career bestie
it's a win win situation.
While you're down there, subscribe if you haven't already.
And as always my friend thank you so much for watching.
I will see you in the next video.
Bye for now!