First 60 seconds and all I could think was what in the knock off Disney channel original
movie is going on here?
Now since the beginning of time it feels like, studios have deemed if a film does well in
the box office or it gains a certain level of popularity then there should be a sequel,
trilogy, or just continue them until the end of time.
I’m not going to name any names but I’m sure you can think of some.
Mean Girls was such a cultural phenomenon, that there had been talks of a sequel with
the original cast for many years. Unfortunately, that never came to pass.
However Comma, Mean Girls 2 did indeed happen.
And we got the movie that literally nobody asked for.
I kind of wish that I didn’t let the best my curiosity get to me because well I regret
it…let me set the scene. We start off with Jo a highschooler with the
same I’m the new girl in town. “I moved a lot when I was younger and I’m such an
outcast” story… that we heard …before. It worked in the real Mean Girls.
Yes I said real. Because Cady experienced a totally different
culture. She grew up in Africa for Christ sakes.
But for some reason they expect us to go “Aww I hope this girl fits in at her new school
because her dad’s a mechanic and she knows about…cars?”
Then we’re introduced to our token mean girls- the plastics.
Mandy aka Knock-off Regina George. Which I’m sorry but they could’ve at least
tried to make her fashionable. This is giving kindergarten garage sale.
Chastity aka Fake Karen, and Hope aka fake Gretchen.
And I have to say, Its pretty amazing to set out to make unlikeable
characters but the reason they are unlikable is because the writing and acting is just
that bad. Then there’s Abby aka Wanna be Janice Ian
except way less cool. Someone bumps into her and she drops her sketchbook
in the garbage. Then a teacher carrying Frappuccino’s out
nowhere - Spills them on her.
Literally ducking and running from the plastics. Just overkill on the “she’s a square”
tropes. The only actor that ties the original movie
to this one is Tim Meadows who plays Mr. Duvall. And I’m convinced he must’ve taken this
job just for a check. Nothing to do with falling in love with the
script. Extra money to take his family on a trip or
something because…yeah. Then comes the lunchroom scene.
With the high school clique speech. The groping by the football player.
The food eating contest. I don’t know about you guys but I’ve never
experienced nor have I ever seen such behavior in high school.
And don’t get me started on the dialogue. Fake Regina says she’s only dating her boyfriend
because he was going to UCLA and it was an excuse for her to spend a week in LA, get
discovered as a swimsuit model and become a reality star.
Ah yes. Every girls dream.
And how the heck does this girl have a dog in the school?
Are we all just supposed to ignore that like it’s normal?
Oh ok. So then there’s the forced rivalry between
fake Regina George and wanna be Janice. The whole basis of the rivalry is that Abby
always had bigger and better than Mandy. This would work if Mandy was actually less
fortunate than Abby. But it’s like girl you’re rich.
Get over yourself. The kicker is the rivalry goes into overdrive
when Abby gets a better parking space than Mandy?
Who wrote this? So Mandy humiliates Abby and when Jo doesn’t
find it funny fake Aaron says most girls just laugh text back or post a status.
I’m sorry what? What are we talking about here? What is happening
right now? But Let’s keep going.
So at the beginning of the movie I had no idea who this guy was, all I knew was that
he gave me creepy vibes and acted as if he may star in a movie with a higher MPAA rating.
Much higher. So it did not surprise me that he offered
money in exchange for her services. As he so eloquently put it.
“If I can’t buy my daughters happiness then what is it worth?”
Im going to ask again Who wrote this??
You know what I’m about to look it up because I can’t.
Oh God no it has the nerve to have three writers. Three people thought this was a good idea?
Wow…wow. Lets keep going.
So she accepts his offer which they already set it up that her dad spent all of her college
tuition money. And Desperate times for desperate measures.
My first laugh finally came when Mr. Duvall was recording an announcement for the students
and the secretary kept walking across the camera.
This was 23 minutes into the film. Lets keep going.
How does she go from thinking Fake Aaron is a total sexist douchbag to being absolutely
smitten by him? And nothing took place for her to say you
know he’s not who I thought he was. He’s actually a really nice guy.
The math aint mathing. So Katy with a K goes out on a date that we
don’t even get to see with this guy. Fake Regina records audio of them talking
about the fact that shes never had a boyfriend before.
Never had a kiss. Blah, Blah , Blah
Guess what? We don’t care.
We don’t care because not only did this liking come out of nowhere.
We don’t care about her or what she going through.
And what’s with this slide show? Where did these pictures even come from if
the aluminums just found out about this surprise courtship?
Chile So the next part really just made me hit the
pause button get food and spend my day doing something else.
Like literally. We find out why Fake Regina is so upset and
obsessed with K Katy and Fake Aaron. And if you’re like me you were probably
thinking Oh this must be a ex boyfriend that she never
completely got over. Oh no, no, no, no no.
The writers said We’re going to knock them off their feet with this one.
They won’t see it coming. The reason why she’s doing all of this is
because. He’s her… step-brother. What the fetch is this?
Now correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m not doing all of this for a…step-brother.
Even Katy with a K was like I thought they were hooking up.
And everybody’s like Oh gosh no. What you mean?
As if she pulled that assumption out of the thin air.
I don’t believe that they are just step siblings.
This has Cruel Intentions written all over it.
But Im just gonna leave that there. Honestly at this point Im ready for Lame Janice
to find out about K Katy being paid to be her friend so I can go to bed.
Unfortunately I still have an hour to go. Crap.
So what follows is what I’d like to call Home Alone meets Rugrats.
A series of pranks that the tupperware crew unleashes to try to sabotage K Katy and her
I guess he’s her boyfriend now. You now what I can’t continue this video
without saying this. I was going to wait until the end but I can’t
take it anymore. How do you take a perfectly good movie.
Iconic. Timeless.
Classic. Do a sequel. That’s not really a sequel
you just used it for name recognition. Take everything from that movie that people
loved so much. And make it the dullest, corniest, unmeaningful,
forgettable movie you can think of. Defamation of fictional works.
Ok I just made that term up but this would definitely hold up in the court of law.
This is unethical. Oh God I still have 52 minutes to go.
Lets keep going. So the straw that breaks the camels back is
when Team Styrofoam decides to put sugar in K Katy’s dads engine and she sets out to
set them straight. And how does she do this? She enlisted her
rent-a–friend to throw a party the same night as Fregina.
You know since they have that big rivalry going on.
Now naturally Fregina gets jealous and goes into her Home Alone 4’s Kevin McCallister
bag. And poisons their pizza upon arrival.
Captain K saves the day before it reaches the guest.
Chinese food magically arrives. K Katy feeds Fregina’s boyfriend a slice and he upchucks
all on her gown. Now Captain K really thinks that she’s the
queen B. She makes it her mission to keep this going.
She calls her crew The Anti-Plastics. And then goes “Yea the name is not very
original but its fitting.” And I’m just thinking after all this time
that’s the only thing that’s not very original to you? Seriously?
But anyways team recycle bin goes on sabotaging, so they can reign supreme.
We get the “You’re not the girl I thought you were” speech from Fake Aaron.
And she’s like oh my god who have I become. Fast forward and we get to the ill -fated
turning point of this movie. And that’s when Fregina just so happens
to be taking a jog at the exact moment that special K tells lame Janice’s dad that she
can’t go on being a horrible and she wants to return her rent-a-friend allowance for
good. There’s a whole expose written the next
day during first period on the scandal and everybody is fake mad that she could do such
a thing. You guys treated Wanna be Janice like an outcast
3 days ago but now all of a sudden Katy with a K is the bad guy.
Like cut the crap. But just when I thought this movie couldn’t
get any cornier, after Fregina trys to frame K Katy, Katy decides they need to settle their
dispute by playing… none other than… football. I can’t. I can’t.
I don’t know if the objective is to stick with the “I’m not like other girls”
narrative or if they just couldn’t think of anything else but this was not the move.
So of course we have this montage of them getting ready for the big game.
We get this…interesting dance in the field and its finally revealed through NCIS cyber
division that the money stealing was all a setup.
Oh but of course they couldn’t finish it without one last twist.
Somehow the hacker and lame Janice win king and queen at the dance even though there was…zero
context for that. They say what happened to all the characters
in the following weeks but I aint talking about that because I don’t care.
You know I really wish I could blame one of you for requesting me to do this video but
it was my own undoing and that’s something I have to live with for the rest of my life.
I purposely didn’t touch on everything because this video would be at least an hour long.
What did you guys think of the film? And what scenes stood out to you?
Were there any moments that made you say ok Im not
I cant. I cant do this. As you can see I had a few moments like that.
Let me know down below. If you haven’t done so already make sure
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Otherwise YouTube will never show you my videos. As always, I’m all ears.
Until next time. Bye.