(energetic music plays)
With May the Fourth in our collective rear view mirrors
and Solo: a Star Wars Story right around the corner,
it's time to dig in to one of my favorite fan theories
in the entirety of Star Wars fandom.
It's called the Bigger Luke theory,
and it makes things like Jar Jar Binks
being a secret Sith Lord or Snope being Anakin Skywalker's
secret clone seem canonical by comparison.
It first made the rounds in late 2015,
but I only discovered it recently,
and, safe to say, it's ruined my (beep) life.
The crux of the Bigger Luke theory is as follows:
Luke Skywalker's height throughout the original trilogy
is inconsistent and the only explanation
is that there's another, bigger Luke Skywalker out there,
just hanging around somewhere.
So strap on your tinfoil hats, my friends,
because it only gets weirder from here.
And that's exactly what we're gonna get into
on today's episode of The Dan Cave.
When you first head to the Bigger Luke theory's website,
it instructs you that you've just taken your first step
into a slightly larger world.
This theory allegedly began in 1985,
after a group of Star Wars fans watching A New Hope on VHS
began noticing inconsistencies in Luke Skywalker's height.
In some scenes he appeared to be slightly larger
than he did in others.
But, why?
The Bigger Luke theory employs
very specific criteria in how it assesses
whether Luke is truly bigger in any given scene.
Usually, Bigger Luke theorists judge Luke's height relative
to Han Solo and frames without Han in them are frowned upon,
given the designation of NHPs, or No Han Pics.
There are two main branches of the theory,
the Canon Luke Hypothesis and the Hamill Hypothesis.
Now, according to the Canon Luke Hypothesis there are
at least two Luke Skywalkers in the Star Wars universe.
Regular size Luke, AKA Luke Prime,
and a slightly larger version known as Bigger Luke.
That is only slightly dumber than the fact that
Luke Skywalker's clones in the expanded universe
were known Luuke with two u's and Luuuke with three u's.
That's real, and real dumb.
The Hamill Hypothesis breaks down the fourth wall
by reasoning that there was an uncredited stand-in
for Mark Hamill that was used
for certain scenes in the original trilogy
and that's how they explain a Bigger Luke.
But why does nobody know his identity?
Well, that's not a story the Jedi would tell you.
There's also a third theory that combined the first two,
and it mostly bears mentioning because it's abbreviated
to HAMCAN and that, that's just silly.
But here's the kicker:
How much bigger is the Luke in question?
Well, it's generally agreed upon that Bigger Luke is,
wait for it, roughly two to three centimeters
or one inch taller than regular Luke.
Huh?
Holy, okay.
Some people allege that Bigger Luke is only one centimeter
bigger, others claim he's four to five centimeters bigger.
Why won't the government reveal the truth?
Before we write off these Luke truthers as complete dinguses
let's take a look at the evidence.
Now most of the evidence, as I mentioned before,
are shots of Luke standing next to Han
where he appears to be slightly taller,
but maybe he's just like crouching
or has like a scoliosis day.
I don't know how that works, spine stuff.
Could this just be a trick of the eyes
played by camera angles?
No, no it could not.
There's a Bigger Luke.
Let's look at the facts.
Let's Luke at the facts, in fact, the very act
of looking for a Bigger Luke is known as Luking.
I love that.
So, Mark Hamill is five foot seven,
according to the presumably trustworthy celebheights.com,
which uses a widely-cited 1977
fact file quoting Hamill himself.
However, if you pop-goog for Mark Hamill's height,
Google claims that the actor is five foot nine.
What?
Now I don't know about you,
but that's a bigger Luke if I've ever seen one.
Two inches, to be precise.
Adding further fuel to this fire, well, I don't know,
how about Obi-Wan Kenobi's cleverly veiled line
after he blocks the training remote shots?
You've taken your first step into a larger world.
Notice the emphasis on a larger?
Yeah, that's what I thought, he's talking about Luke.
And what about the inclusion
of a character named Biggs Darklighter, hmm?
Forecasting much, George Lucas?
If you didn't want us to know the truth,
why not call him Normal Size-athan Darklighter, you idiot!
And who could forget Princess Leia's
immortal question to Luke?
Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
Huh?
You know who wouldn't be too short for a stormtrooper?
A larger Luke!
Whose existence Leia could be alluding to!
And, of course, my favorite piece of evidence.
Lando Calrissian's confused look when he sees Luke
for the first time in Cloud City in The Empire Strikes Back.
And I quote from the Bigger Luke website,
"During the scene, Lando Calrissian lays his eyes
"on our hero for the very first time,
"and quickly loses interest.
"However, towards the end of the scene
"Lando appears to stare at Luke
"with a very perplexed expression.
"Being the proficient card player
"and gambler that he is, one would assume
"that Lando Calrissian had a very keen eye,
"perhaps the best eyes in the galaxy.
"It is therefore distinctly possible that Lando did in fact
"perceive a height change in Luke
"between two different viewings."
End quote.
Wow.
You know, that old chestnut.
That what the (beep) did I just read chestnut.
So, is there actually a Bigger Luke out there?
Well, of course, but that point of view's
probably just a wacky camera angle,
but then again, hey, it's fun to overthink things, right?
But tell me, what do you think of the Bigger Luke theory?
What's your favorite ridiculous Star Wars fan theory?
Let me know in the comments below
and give me a slightly bigger thumbs up while you're there.
Now be sure to like, subscribe,
and hit that notification bell,
or else you might miss next week's episode
about a World War II hero who was frozen solid
in a block of ice and defrosted 60 years later
to prevent a group of high schoolers
from getting laid before senior prom
and ruining a perfectly good pastry in Captain American Pie.
Until next time, keep on digging.