Have you noticed that the passion in your relationship is slowly fading away?
Maybe things are okay but just not as the same, not this aliveness and passion.
In this video I'm gonna share with you the four secrets to keep the spark alive
in long-term relationship. And you want to know about this whether you are in a long-term relationship
or not because you want to know about this even before you meet the one so that you know how
to keep the spark alive. I'm Elisa Caro, a sex and relationship expert and it's my soul mission,
my job, my purpose-- to help women having orgasmic sex life and fulfilling relationship.
Please give a thumb up to the video. It really supports me and don't forget to
subscribe to the channel if you want to learn more about conscious relating and sexuality.
It's quite normal to feel a bit bored in sexuality in long-term relationships if you don't prioritize
work on it. So most of us have not been trained or educated in how to do it.
I see so many couples struggling with it and it's very normal due to the lack of information.
In this video, you're gonna learn what you can do in order to keep the spark alive with my four
secrets to keep passion alive in long-term relationships. Number one: Bring variety!
Most of my clients, when they're relating for few years, they tend to make love in the same way--
whatever that is! They have the same few positions that they like. They go through a similar routine:
maybe the kiss, maybe they do oral sex, or maybe oral sex is not part of their routine
or maybe they tend to make love in the same place of their house.
So there is repetition and guess what? This is practically one of the number one intimacy killer!
You want to bring variety. And how can you do that? Try new things! You can make love
in different locations! You can make love in the car, in nature, (I love making love in the forest!)
Even in different places of the house! Maybe in the bathtub, maybe on the kitchen bench, on the table
sofa, bedroom (well, probably already do that one), then you want to bring variety as your way of
making love. So there are different ways in which you can make love. Let me give you some example.
Most people tend to have a similar way to make love such as very sweet, a lot of kissing, very
passionate, dominant submission. So you find your own type, your own way, and you tend to repeat it.
It's actually very good to bring variety on that, too, because you can make love more passionate and
then you can make love in a more sweet way and then you can play with dominant-submission role
and even flipping them over. Why they always have to be in one direction? You can also bring variety
through role plays! Fantasies are great when they're welcome in the play with your partner
or partners. So you want to make sure that if you have a fantasy you don't just disconnect and think
about it and your partner's not even aware of it and your mind is somewhere else but you can't role
play that with them. You can role play that they're a teacher, the sexy teacher. Maybe you have a
fantasy of living with a teacher or maybe you always wanted to pay for a prostitute and you
haven't done that and so you can play that out. Whatever it is of course you need to discuss and
you both need to agree. But I love role plays and me and my partner actually do it quite often, you
know? I mean not every you know every week or something but it's such a nice thing to bring
in. Those are just some examples of the ways in which you can bring variety in your sex life.
Let's go on number two. Secret number two is about emotional connection.
It's so important to actually feel connected with one another.
It's like a magnet when you feel harmony, emotional intimacy. You're naturally drawn to one another.
So you want to learn how to create conversation, talk about vulnerability and needs and really feel
connected with one another. And if you want some guidance on this one, because I know it's a huge
topic, then have a look at my Mindful Connection online course. It's an epic online course that I did
with my partner which is a clinical psychologist and we're going to take you step by step what you
can do in order to bring back this connection, feeling close and this sense of togetherness.
You can find the link below to the online workshop. Tip number three: Meaningful Sex
In our society, the tendency is to treat sex in a more superficial way. What happens
is that we learn about sex in pornography often and the view that we get from the media is in a
very one-dimensional way. We actually see that everything is about how we look, how we perform,
how our body look like, how strong our erection, how long we last, how many orgasms we had.
And we are really missing the point! Having meaningful sex means bringing back the sacredness of it.
You're not just making love with a body. You're making love with the essence of
the person in front of you with their soul, with their spirit, with their heart,
with their energy body. If you want to learn more in details how you can bring some
depth in your way of making love, I have a video on three tips that you can start to apply right now
to have a more meaningful sex. I'm gonna put the link below and you can also see it up there.
So we need to dive deep and understanding that making love is so much beyond that
just two genitals meeting or to your physical body meeting. I love Tantra! I absolutely adore this
ancient philosophy and in Tantra, they talk about making love with the five bodies.
Which one are they? The first one is the physical one. The second one is the emotional body.
The third one is the mental body so it's your mind being present in the moment as you're doing it.
The fourth one is the energy body so also utilizing your energy as you make love to feel pleasure
and to connect with one another or yourself both. And the fifth one is the spiritual body or also
called casual body or soul or spirit or essence-- whatever resonates more with you. So when we
connect with ourselves or with someone else, we want to connect on all those five levels.
And if you want three tips to how to start to bring these depths in your lovemaking, check out
this video. The link is just there or I'm gonna also put it down below and it's gonna give you
some exercise and practices that you can do now to bring more depth in your lovemaking or your solo
play. If you're enjoying this video, don't forget to give a thumb up and subscribe to the channel
in order to be updated in all the video that I'm releasing about conscious sexuality and relating.
The last tip, the fourth one, is going to be Polarity. What is that, Elisa? Well
you might know you might not be comfortable with this word if you have been to some tantric
workshop or you have been reading some books or blogs you might be more familiar with it.
Polarity is the concept that we feel attracted to one another like two magnets right so there are
two poles the plus and the minus and they attract each other. When they stay too long close by
they become neutral and there's not this attraction anymore, not like magnet anymore.
So we need to polarize ourselves so that we can keep this strong connection and attraction to one
another and there are a few ways that you can do in order to build this polarity. Let me give you
some examples. For instance following your hobbies. What makes you happy? What fill you
with joy and radiance? What do you love? Just go and do it on your own! Just fill yourself up
with what makes you feeling full and whole. For instance, for me it's going to dance, it's going
into nature, it's going on holidays, and I would do this on my own sometimes and that's great because
I'm charging myself up with this feminine and radiant essence. And my partner, you know, might
like things such as fishing or hang out with the boys or go on a hunting weekend and so. It's
important that you polarize yourself with just what you love so that is not right or wrong thing
you know like I could go hunting whatever whatever you like that's gonna polarize and charge you up.
Another things that you can do is having time apart. It's lovely to do everything together
but after a while you're gonna end up in companionship. I'm not gonna tell you how many
clients I have that they tell me you're like best friends but somehow sex is not there. Guess why.
Best friend! Of course you want to be friends with one another and connecting but you also need to
spend some time apart and do things separately so that you can charge these two poles up and
that might look as having evening separate or maybe you're gonna have a holiday. I take it to
an extreme. I probably travel two, three months of the year on my own just doing my thing, go to my
workshops, and visit my family, or just go see your friends. You don't have to be so extreme but that's
great to just take some space so whatever you can do might be an evening, an afternoon, a weekend,
one week holiday, two months like me. Whatever suits your needs. Something else that you can do
to keep building this polarity is stay flirtatious with your partner. Somehow we lose that, right?
I love flirting with my partner all day long like we do that often. We might, you know, like do stuff like
when the other one is changing or just give them a compliment give each other compliments
oh you look right um look how hot you are or sometimes you know when the other one is changing
clothes we might just stay there and just look and perving on each other and that just feels good.
It feels good to keep that because we are sexual being and if we forget about it and then we
want to remember just out of the blue when we make love that doesn't work! So keep feeding that sexual
tension as much as you can. So spending time apart could also look like sleeping in separate room.
Me and Richard do not actually sleep in the same room last night and this is because throughout
the night we keep exchanging energy so we have two separate room in which we can have
some privacy just for doing our own thing and just also sleeping separate.
And don't get me wrong, we love to sleep together but it's just good to have this separateness so
that we can keep the passion alive. And that might seems weird but tell me one couple that you know
that are living a fulfilling sex and passionate life they've been together for years and
actually all the time together, you know all the time like best friend, never flirt, and never do
all of the things that I mentioned. I bet you can't find it. So in this video we saw four areas
in which you can work to keep the spark alive in your relationship and trust me, I see couples over
and over again going from a sexless marriage or relationship to have actually so much passion
and aliveness in their relationship and it's an ongoing ongoing work like it's a lifelong journey
you need to keep feeding those areas otherwise sex will fade away. It might stay there for two years,
maybe three maybe six months but after four, five, six years, if you don't work on it, the passion is
just not gonna stay. So start now to work on these four areas. Bring variety, emotional connection,
meaningful sex, and polarity so that you can live the passionate relationship that you always wanted.
If you want to have some support on connecting emotionally with your partner, check the link below for Mindful Connection. It's an epic online course or maybe you want to have a look at the video here
and here. I look forward to share more about conscious relating and sexuality with you.