Darth Vader was one of the Emperor’s most feared enforcers during the Galactic Empire’s
reign.
But what not many people knew, was that behind Vader’s menacing mask was a broken man,
a man who had lost everything.
His best friend, mother, wife, and children.
All gone.
His dreams crushed, his purpose corrupted.
In his early years as the Emperor’s enforcer, Vader constantly thought about Padme and his
love for her, especially when he went through extreme pain, like during his suit maintenances.
He also frequently dreamed about an alternative life where he killed Palpatine and saved the
Jedi from their demise.
In this dream, his wife was still alive and well, and he himself was now the leader of
the Jedi Order.
In this alternative reality, his son was born and was named Jinn Skywalker, perhaps as a
way to honor the fallen Jedi, Qui-Gon Jinn.
The Republic was united again, and Padme was the newly elected Supreme Chancellor, wishing
to bring peace to the entire galaxy.
Such emotional dreams were too much for Vader to handle, who would wake up screaming at
what could have been.
During one of his earlier missions, when Vader was captured, he experienced a vision of his
wife who appeared right before him.
She looked upon the shell of the man she once loved, disappointed with what he had become.
When she called him by his birth name, Vader freaked out, yelling out that Anakin was dead
along with her.
This caused her to disappear, bringing Vader into mad hysteria, giving him enough strength
to break free of his bindings and to confront his captors.
She later returned as another vision, this time as a shriveled corpse.
She confronted him with the fact the he was the one who killed her, and that he had no
one else to blame for her death.
Falling to his knees, Vader admitted that he not only killed her, but the man he used
to be and the unborn child she carried, and that he hated himself for everything he had
done.
Calling him by his current name, Padme forgave him before disappearing once again.
This left Vader distraught and in tears.
He didn’t know if he could live on in this state.
This prompted him in attempting to commit suicide, by bringing down an entire building
on top of himself, letting fate decide whether he lives or dies.
He of course lived, and was rescued days later.
His hatred for himself and commitment to the darkside is what kept him alive.
As Darth Vader, all he had left was his master, the man who he had once looked up to and viewed
as the father he never had.
He was now his only friend, well if you could call him that.
A friend who would one day praise you for your efforts, then the next day send an assassin
after you to see if you still had the strength to fight back.
To see if you were still a worthy tool for him.
During his prime, Vader was completely dead inside, caring little for anyone.
He did have a few friendly relationships with men that served under him, but they too would
be taken away from him in due time.
It’s possible that Vader acted that he and Anakin skywalker were different people, as
a way to forget the painful memories of his past life.
Despite this effort, he would be remembered of his past in a few occasions.
Once he remembered C-3PO, the protocol droid he rebuilt as a child on Tatooine.
This brought him flashbacks of his mother, who he loved just as much as Padme.
Another occasion was when he confronted Ahsoka, his former padawan.
Reminding him of the fact of who he once was.
Such heartfelt memories possibly sparked the light within him for a moment, freeing him
from the darkside and self hatred.
As a result, he requested C-3PO to be given back to Chewbacca safely.
And perhaps with Ahsoka, he let her live, not being able to kill his former padawan.
But this spark of light within him died quickly, as shortly after his confrontation with both
relics of his past, he went back to being the cruel sith lord that he was.
It wouldn’t be until he discovered his son, Luke Skywalker, that the light sparked within
him once more, giving him the strength to escape the hold the darkside had on him and
to return as Anakin Skywalker once and for all.