- There's one scene from a movie
which pretty much summarizes everything
I hate about the English teaching world.
- I would like to buy a hamburger.
- I. - I.
- Would. - Would.
- Would.
- You have no idea how much this annoys me.
If you're ordering coffee or fast food,
those types of places, then you just need these expressions.
No one says, "I would like to buy a hamburger."
No one says that.
I mean yeah, you can,
but you would sound like an alien trying to act human.
It wouldn't sound natural.
Maybe in textbooks, 50 years ago,
they would teach it and maybe that's what they said.
I don't know.
I wasn't alive then.
But right now, today, no one says,
"Hello, I would like to buy a hamburger."
No one says that.
Let's just kill this idea right now.
So what could you say in this situation?
Hi, can I have?
Hi, can I get?
And then the food or the drink that you want.
That's it.
That's all you need.
You don't need 10 ways of ordering food.
You don't need 10 food ordering idioms.
That's all you need.
Hi, can I have an ice Americano, please?
Hi, can I get a cake?
A whole cake, please?
Thanks.
Maybe that's all you want,
but maybe you want something else.
Maybe you want a sandwich.
Hmm, okay, I like that sandwich, but I don't like onions.
So how do we manage this?
All right, so we get in a sandwich.
I've never understood why we have the (sounds out "d")
in sandwich when we pronounce it "samwidge", like an "m".
"Samwidge".
Can I have a "samwidge".
No one says "sandwich".
Maybe someone does.
If you meet someone who does say "a sandwich",
please ask them, "Why are you like this?"
All right, so you want your sandwich,
but no onions, right?
Easy.
Yeah, can I get a sandwich, but without onions, please?
You can make this more simple by just saying,
"Can I have a sandwich, but no onions,
"no lettuce, no bread?
"Yeah, just the cheese.
"Thanks."
(blows raspberry) Okay, so what if they sell things
like cakes or pizza, something you can slice into portions?
How do you order that?
Well, you can just say "a slice of pizza",
"a slice of cake".
But if you're like me
and always forget the name of the portion of the thing,
just say, "A thing of..."
Yeah, you can just say, "A thing of cake."
Yeah, it's not the most correct thing, but it's acceptable,
especially if you're just ordering a bit of cake.
Oh, there you go, you can also say "a bit of".
Also, do you agree that carrot cake is the best cake
in the world?
There's no competition.
Tell me a better cake than carrot cake.
There isn't one.
Also, not only for this, it can just sound
really casual in conversation, like, "You all right?"
"I was feeling really sad today,
"so I ate a whole thing of biscuits."
So yeah, in very casual English,
you could change "packet of", "jar of",
"tub of" for "thing of",
especially if you can't remember the name,
like me most of the time.
Memory like a fish.
Okay, let's put all of that together
and watch a real example of me ordering from a Starbucks.
(classy music)
Can I have a small mocha, please?
- For here or takeaway?
- It's to go.
Yeah, yeah. - Would you like cream on top?
- (hums uncertainly) No, thank you.
(classy music)
And can I get an ice Americano, please?
- What size?
- Medium.
Can I have it with soy milk, please?
- Sure. - Thank you.
Oh, and also, can I have a thing of carrot cake?
- Sure. - Thanks.
(classy music)
- (barista mumbles) --cake.
- Do you have any carrot cake?
- [Barista] No, we don't.
- Oh, no.
Okay, in that case, can I have a slice of lemon loaf?
- Sure. - Thanks.
Wow, I did really well.
And that cake, delicious.
Okay, but do those expressions change
when you're sitting in a restaurant?
Is it more formal?
Do things change?
No, of course not.
You're ordering food.
You don't have to learn 10 different ways
of ordering the food.
Maybe if the place is super, super formal
and you want to sound super formal,
change the "can I have" to:
"May I have the tomato?
"Just one tomato?"
So yeah, "may" just sounds more polite,
more formal, than "can".
When I was like a baby, my teachers,
my parents would say, "It's not 'can I?'"
"It's 'may I?'"
In reality, it's both.
That just sounds more polite.
That sounds more common.
Keep that in mind.
You could also say, "I'll have the duck."
"Oh, yeah, that sounds good.
"I'll get the duck, too."
I'll have or I'll get the food.
Personally I don't say it this way
because I'm British and I'm terrified
that I don't sound polite enough.
So I will always ask it in a question form.
That's just me.
You don't have to.
Some people prefer this way.
It's entirely your choice.
(snaps and claps) Okay, what if you want to order this dish,
but there's something in that food
that you're allergic to or you just don't like it?
How can we remove it?
You could just say, "This, but no onions.
"This, but without the lettuce."
Whatever.
If you're like me, I love pad Thai.
It's so delicious.
But I never order it with shrimp.
I always change it for tofu.
So if you're like me, you might say,
"Can I have the pad Thai, but can I take out the shrimp
"for the..." replacement.
In my case, tofu.
My whole order sounds like this:
Hi, can I get the pad Thai,
but can I take out the shrimp for the tofu, please?
That's how I order pad Thai.
Two things.
One, "take out", "swap", "switch", all of those verbs,
"replace", "change".
Yes, you can just say,
"Can I change the shrimp for the tofu,"
but you love the phrasal verbs, so "take out".
Use that.
The second thing is, if you're Thai,
watching this, if I do this,
is it no longer a real pad Thai?
Does it have to be with shrimp?
'Cause I love pad Thai, but I just don't like shrimp.
So we can practice this in the comments.
Let me know things that you regularly order.
Write out how you might order in English.
So try ordering a coffee.
Try ordering a thing of cake.
Try ordering something from a restaurant menu
that you haven't been to in a long time.
Write it in the comments.
I'll help you.
But the main point of this video is
I hate the movie "Pink Panther".
That's all I wanted to say.
No, but seriously, if you are studying English,
always pay more attention to what people say
in real conversations, in real life.
If it's more common to say something this way,
then that one is more correct.
It doesn't matter if that matches
what's written in a textbook or not.
Language is always changing.
(sighs) And that's why I hate the movie "Pink Panther".
If there's anything I've missed in today's video,
let me know in the comments.
Also let me know if there's a future video
you want to see on this channel.
Also, also, are there any movie scenes like this
that feel like weird English to you?
Let me know in the comments
and I'll use it in a future video.
See you later.
(chill music)