>>SO I HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME TONIGHT.
>>YEAH, YEA, YOU DID.
>>SO...
>>WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>>NOTHING...
I DROPPED SOMETHING ON THE GROUND.
>>THERE'S NOTHING IN YOUR HAND.
>>MAGIC.
>>WERE YOU TRYING TO KISS ME?
>>NO I WAS TRYING TO SEE IF IT WAS GOING TO RAIN LATER,
MY LIPS ARE REALLY SENSITIVE SO THAT'S...
>>I'M GOING TO GO INSIDE.
>>YEP, GOOD IDEA, STORMS-A-COMING.
THANK GOODNESS NO ONE ELSE SAW THAT.
♪♪
>>WELCOME BACK EVERYONE TO MATT CENTER.
>>BIENVENIDOS AL CENTRO DE MATT!
>>I'M HERE WITH MATT WHO HAS ONCE AGAIN BEEN REJECTED.
TELL ME MATT, HOW DO YOU FEEL?
>>YOU GUYS AGAIN?
WHY DO YOU KEEP FOLLOWING ME?
>>BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT SLAM-DUMPED SON!
>>NO.. NO THAT IS NOT TRUE!
SHE SAID TONIGHT WASN'T NEARLY AS BAD AS SHE
THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.
>>THAT'S BECAUSE SHE HAD INSANELY LOW
EXPECTATIONS RICKY NUGGET!
LOOK AT SHE- LOOK, LOOK AT WHAT SHE WROTE ON
HER TWITTER-BOOK STATUS RIGHT BEFORE YOU PICKED HER UP.
>>"GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD."
>>COACH HARKEY WHY DON'T YOU WALK US THROUGH
MATT'S PERFORMANCE TONIGHT PLAY BY PLAY.
>>I DON'T THINK THAT'S NECESSARY...
>>I'D LOVE TO.
NOW LOOK HERE JOHNATHON BON JOVI.
NOW YOUR FIRST PROBLEM WERE YOUR PITS.
>>WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY PITS?
>>YOU USED AXE BODY SPRAY;
THAT'S A COLOGNE INVENTED BY
WOMEN TO MORE EFFECTIVELY IDENTIFY MEN THEY SHOULD AVOID.
>>USASTE EL AXE BODY ESPRAY?
LA CUCURACHA.
>>OKAY FINE, I CAN SWITCH TO OLD SPICE.
>>NO, NO NO, HAMBONE.
YOU CAN BATHE IN OLD SPICE BUT IT AIN'T GOING
FIX THE REAL PROBLEM.
JUST LOOK AT YOUR TECHNIQUE!
LOOK AT IT JUST RIGHT THERE.
ALL RIGHT?
I'VE SEEN DEMENTORS APPROACH A KISS WITH MORE SWAG THAN THAT.
YOU LOOK LIKE A DEHYDRATED GERBIL TRYING TO DRINK
FROM ONE OF THOSE SIPPY CUP THINGA MA BOBBERS.
LOOK AT 'CHA.
YOU'RE SCARING THE POOR GIRL!
SHE WOULDN'T KISS YOU IF YOUR LIPS WERE WATER
AND HER FACE WAS ON FIRE.
>>OKAY, I ADMIT I HAD AN OFF NIGHT.
ALRIGHT?
BUT SO DOES EVERYONE!
>>LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE HAVE JUST RECEIVED REPORT
THAT DERRICK GREEN HAS ONCE AGAIN HAD A
PERFECT DOORSTEP TONIGHT.
>>OH COME ON!
>>DERRICK VERDE?
EL DIOS DE LOS BESOS!
>>DERRICK, WHAT WERE THE KEYS TO
YOUR VICTORY TONIGHT?
>>WELL YOU KNOW, I HAD A VERY EFFECTIVE
OFFENSIVE STRATEGY AND IT PAID OFF TONIGHT.
>>MIDWAY THROUGH THE DATE SHE SEEMED TO LOSE INTEREST.
HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO REGAIN THE MOMENTUM?
>>WELL, I KNEW SHE WAS COMING OFF A DIFFICULT BREAK-UP,
SO I JUST HAD TO BE READY FOR THE REBOUND.
>>DO YOU SEE A RELATIONSHIP COMING OUT OF THIS?
>>YOU KNOW, I DON'T REALLY WANT TO
TALK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.
I'M JUST HAPPY I LEFT HERE WITH A SOLID KISS TONIGHT.
>>AND WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO THOSE YOU ACCUSE
OF LEADING WOMEN ON?
>>HATE THE GAME, NOT THE PLAYER.
>>SI, ODIO EL JUEGO, NO AL JUGADOR.
>>BOO! BOO TO YOU DERRICK GREEN!
YOU KNOW I MAY NOT KISS A DIFFERENT GIRL EVERY NIGHT, BUT
WHEN I DO KISS IT MEANS SOMETHING SPECIAL!
OKAY, IF YOU COULD SEE A HIGHLIGHT REEL OF MY KISSES,
IT WOULD BLOW YOUR MIND!
>>ALRIGHT, LET'S ROLL THE TOP FIVE!
>>WHAT?
♪♪
>>TOP FIVE?
>>EL TOP CINCO?
>>I THOUGHT IT WAS TOP TEN.
>>SI? EL TOP DIEZ!
>>WE HAD TO ADJUST DUE TO LACK OF SOURCE MATERIAL.
>>HEY!
HEY!
IT'S ABOUT...
IT'S NOT ABOUT THE QUANTITY!
IT'S ABOUT THE QUALITY!
>>OKAY
>>COMING IN AT NUMBER FIVE.
WE'VE GOT MATT WATCHING THE CHANNEL SEVEN NEWS.
>>OH NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
THAT IS BAD FOR THE TV SON!
>>IT'S REALLY GOING TO HURT YOUR RESALE VALUE.
>>WHAT ABOUT YOUR WHOLE VALUE?
>>NUMBER FOUR.
THE CLASS BEAUTY AND...
OH!
LAST MINUTE SWAT AWAY.
>>OH NO!
KISS-O-GRAM!
AIN'T NO BODY AT THE CARNIVAL RIGHT NOW.
>>YOU'RE BEING A PIPPIN WHEN YOU SHOULD BE A JORDAN
>>SHE CAN'T SHAKE THAT OFF
>>NOT WORTH IT.
>>TIM HOWARD COULDN'T SAVE THAT.
NUMBER THREE.
>>OH HEY MATT.
>>HEY >>WANT TO KISS?
>>YEAH >>OH.
SHE OFFERS!
I GUESS WE WERE WRONG.
>>AND HE ACCEPTS >>OH.
>>THAT'S A CHOCOLATE...
>>THAT'S THE ONLY SUGAR HE'S GOING TO BE GETTING TODAY.
>>INDEED.
TWO KISSES FOILED THERE.
>>NUMBER TWO.
>>OH.
OKAY.
OH NO!
AGAIN WITH THE KISSING BOOTH!
NOW FOLKS AT HOME YOU CAN'T SEE THROUGH THE WRINKLES
BUT SHE IS VERY DISAPPOINTED.
>>VERY DISAPPOINTED.
>>NUMBER ONE.
WE'VE GOT A CLASSIC LADY AND THE TRAMP.
>>THAT'S A DOG!
>>OH NO.
IT IS HESITANT.
OH IT'S TRYING TO GET THE TASTE OUT OF ITS MOUTH.
>>IT MAKES ME WONDER IF ALL DOGS REALLY GO TO HEAVEN?
>>NO THEY DO NOT. THAT'S PURGATORY
>>OKAY, SO WHAT I'VE NEVER
TECHNICALLY KISSED ANYONE!
I'M JUST SAVING THEM FOR MY FUTURE-
CURSE YOU DERRICK GREEN!
>>QUE BUENO!
>>DERRICK GREEN. NOW YOU NEED TO LOOK AT WHAT HE'S DOING SON!
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
I DID THAT ONE FOR YOU.
I MADE THAT VIDEO FOR YOU!
NOW WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR ME IS SUBSCRIBE
BECAUSE REMEMBER, YOU ALWAYS MISS
100% OF THE SUBSCRIPTIONS THAT YOU DON'T
SUBSCRIBE TOO, OKAY?
EVERY SUBSCRIPTION BEGINS WITH A JOURNEY
LIKE OR SO NOT LIKE, THERE IS NO...
ACTUALLY, JUST LIKE.