(cards muffling)
(click)
- When you think about the first time we met,
what do you remember?
- Well, I remember walking in from vacation,
I was 19.
And I was like, "Ooh, who's that cute tall guy
"that looks like George Clooney?" (laughs)
(Christian laughs)
I remember that part specifically because
I was interested in you when I saw you,
so yeah. - But you were with
someone else.
- (laughs) So were you.
(both laugh)
- True. - Yeah.
(Jennifer laughs)
- When do you think I feel closest to you?
- Probably when we spend time together.
Any time we spend together,
or when
I randomly give you hugs,
or randomly hold your hand.
I think that's when you feel close to me.
I could be wrong, I don't know if... (laughs)
When do you feel
like we're closest? - I feel like it's
the times where you
show affection towards me.
It's when you are affectionate that I feel closest to you.
- Of course I start crying (mumbles). (laughs)
Yeah.
Something I try to work on.
And I'll get there, I promise (laughs).
- It's okay.
- Describe the moment you realized I was in love with you.
- When I went to California
and I saw how hurt you were by that.
Made me
really realize how much you cared.
And
it's not that I didn't take our relationship seriously,
but we can talk about our age difference and stuff,
I never really thought that I would be somebody
that you would wanna be with,
because
I was just
some old dude that you were hanging out with.
(both laugh)
- You're not that old.
- You know, I didn't know if it was gonna ever be
what is has become
so many years later.
- When do you think people judge us,
and why do you think they do?
This is a really good question.
- I think we get judged all the time.
We could be out for dinner or out for a drink,
and people look at us.
They notice our age difference.
They judge us.
They form their own opinions.
Your father certainly
judged us in the beginning.
A lot of your friends did.
My friends did.
My
family did.
- I wouldn't necessarily say they judged,
they more so,
they were
a little cautious. - Well they draw,
they draw a conclusion before they get to know either of us,
or know anything about us,
so they do judge us.
- As far as that question, I can understand why my parents
would be a little bit cautious,
because you were recently divorced when we got together,
and you do have two kids,
and I was fresh meat at 21 years old (laughs),
and
they pretty much wanted me to be with someone
that didn't have that excess baggage, I guess you can say.
- Sure.
- And I can understand their point of view,
- I can too. - they want me to
be with someone my own age so we can go about
how life is supposed to be.
And, of course, I completely went against them (laughs),
and I--
- Good choice.
- Good choice (laughs).
I completely went against them, and here we are now.
- I don't think the judgment is always negative.
Just 'cause someone's judging us
doesn't mean it's a bad thing,
but I think you probably feel
a certain way about seeing all your friends getting married,
engaged, having kids, and that hasn't happened to you yet.
- Yeah.
- But maybe it is because of my...
You call it baggage, but it's my life.
- Oh, I don't call it baggage,
but most people would call it baggage.
- I think our life is so much different
than any of your friends or my friends, and--
- That's what's hard though, at least it's hard for me,
because (sighs deeply)
I do see all these people my age
getting engaged, having babies, or are already married,
and it sucks because I know
I shouldn't envy these people
'cause I don't know what they're going through, you know?
They could be putting up happy pictures
all over social media but their lives aren't really happy,
so I can't really compare.
- Well, maybe they are happy,
- Or maybe they are happy, - or maybe they're not,
- yeah. - but I think
that's another thing that
I would ask you to not care so much about social media.
- Yeah, because it sucks.
It sucks being able to see what people have
that I want and I can't have.
And I know that our story
is going differently. - It's not that you can't,
it's just that social media
is a farce.
Nobody posts the bad stuff that happens in their life.
- But it's hard because you always tend to tell me,
"Oh, it's you millennials that are into social media,"
- Well, it's true. - and unfortunately, yeah.
Unfortunately that is part of my life.
That's part of my life, and it's hard to kind of...
There have been plenty of times that
you know I've taken breaks from social media
because of the fact that I'm always constantly comparing
our life to other people's lives,
and I wanna obviously stop doing that. (sniffs)
Oh god. (laughs)
- How do you think our relationship would be different
if we were the same age? (clears throat)
- (sniffs) Wow.
We actually spoke about this the other night.
It'd be way different.
At least in my opinion.
I feel like if you were my age right now,
we probably would already be married with a kid,
or maybe no kids, but maybe married.
Or maybe not married, maybe engaged.
But I feel like
if I were with someone my own age,
if I was with you and you were my age,
I think we would pretty much have,
I guess you could say what I want.
- Okay.
But you're speaking,
you're answering that question
as if I would come down to your age.
- What do you mean?
- But what if you were my age.
- Oh.
Well, that's a good question.
- So you would likely have been in
some sort of relationship in your life,
and now we meet each other and we're both in our 40's,
would you have that same
- Mentality? - rush to
wanna get - Get married?
- engaged, married, - Probably not.
- have a kid at 45 years old.
- Probably not.
- So it could go either way, right?
- Yeah.
I guess that's where it kind of...
I don't wanna say it's kind of like a barrier,
but I think that's where our age comes into play,
because you're in no rush,
I don't know if you're in a rush
to get married or have kids,
but you're in no rush to do that,
and me being, I'm gonna be 30 in a couple months,
it's like, "Time is ticking, Jen.
"What's going on?" (laughs)
- Well, that's why I think we need to get
closer to each other emotionally and mentally,
because we're...
There's two different stereotypes or extremes, right?
And it's not always gonna be what you want,
and it's not always gonna be what I want.
So that's where we need to communicate better and
have a clearer understanding of where we're gonna be
in three years, five years, or where we wanna be
in time. - I feel like we both want
the same things, but it's like...
You're in no rush to get there, but I'm in a rush.
I feel like we both want the same things.
You do wanna get married, you do wanna have one more child,
but we're kind of, I feel like,
we're two cars kinda going like this, I guess.
- Yeah, and...
Do you realize that I want those things because of you?
- Like, get married and have a child?
- Sure.
- I know, because when we first began dating,
you told me you did not wanna get married or have children.
- If you were not in my life right now,
I would not care whether I ever got married again.
And I would probably
put to rest the thought of ever having another child.
I mean, I'm older.
I have teenage kids.
So
if it wasn't something that you wanted,
then I would be okay never getting married again
and never having another child.
- But you do want them?
You're not just doing it to make me happy, right?
- No, it's part of the relationship.
It's not
I'm just gonna do it to make you happy.
- In the beginning, you told me
you didn't wanna get married or have any kids,
and I was willing to sacrifice those two things
just to be with you.
And... (sniffs)
I lost myself in the process. (sniffs)
And when I told me family about that,
or when I told my friends about that,
(sniffs) they thought I was stupid,
'cause they always used to say,
"Jen, you always wanted to get married young."
"You always wanted to have more than two kids.
"How can you not wanna get married anymore,
"or have kids anymore?"
But I told them, "I really love this guy,
"and I feel like in order to keep him,
"I have to pretty much do what he says."
Not, "he says," 'cause you didn't tell me,
"You can't have kids," or any of that.
You just said, "I don't wanna have kids,
"and I don't wanna get married anymore."
Which I understood because, unfortunately,
you got a divorce, and that wasn't a very easy one,
but I don't know what it was that made me change,
and I think that's when I told you,
"No, I'm sorry.
"If you wanna be with me, I need that.
"I need marriage, and I need, maybe not four kids,
"but I need at least one child
"because I would love to have a human being
"that is of me and you,"
'cause I was ready to just walk away
'cause I just couldn't do it anymore. (sniffs)
- Right.
And like I said, I made that
decision because of you.
- I just hope you're not gonna resent me for that
in the future if we ever do have a child. (sniffs)
- I could never resent a child.
- This is (mumbles) question.
(breathes deeply) This is gonna be really hard.
(laughs) (sniffs)
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