While spending time with family and friends can be uplifting and joyful for some, it can
also bring back old scars and fears from childhood. Many INFJs have been anxious about family
dinners, holiday parties, and uncomfortable conversations with friends and family.
How do INFJs cope with friends and family members who appear to be set in their ways
and unwilling to change their minds? When people state their beliefs or make snap judgments,
how can INFJs preserve their inner strength and calm? How can they be loving and caring
to their loved ones while keeping appropriate limits in place?
Today I am talking about the top 7 ways an INFJ can handle Close-minded friends and family.
Let's get into it.
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If you're an INFJ, you're particularly sensitive to other people's perspectives. Because of
their ability to alter views and grasp emotions, their natural technique of absorbing information
is commonly referred to as "Perspectives." an INFJ wants to comprehend each individual's
place in the world and in connection to others. Since childhood, there has been a keen interest
in why people react the way they do, what needs are unfulfilled, how this affects behavior,
and what a person's subtle indications reveal.
They cringe when people make snap judgments or neglect to put themselves in other people's
shoes because this is their natural way of digesting information. INFJs have a natural
ability for empathy as long as they're at an intermediate to mature level of development,
and they're bothered when others don't have it. They want to encourage everyone to slow
down and imagine things from the perspective of another person, allowing them to sink in
fully.
INFJs have a natural sense of the emotional temperature of a room, in addition to their
talent for perspectives and depth of understanding. INFJs have the ability to read people's emotions
and make adjustments to improve their well-being or overall mood.
This could lead to an INFJ adjusting too easily when they should be standing firm. An INFJ
may be tempted to shrug it off or simply absorb and take it if someone is being condescending
or dismissive. It's crucial to know when to disregard an offense and when to defend themself,
and understanding that distinction might be difficult at times.
It's also okay to cut ties completely if you're dealing with an emotionally or physically
abusive family or group of friends.
Number 7 today on how to handle close-minded friends and family is Fear and deep-seated
anxiety are major culprits of closed-mindedness. A more sensitive, delicate core is frequently
hidden behind the judgmental exterior demeanor of others. As you may or may not know, when
someone insults you or gives you grief, it usually has less to do with you and more to
do with them. It is frequently a projection of something that the other person carries
deep within them. When it comes to being closed-minded, there isn't much of a difference. People like
this are frequently coping with their own internal conflicts and aren't aware of or
mature enough to deal with them effectively. If you're dealing with a close-minded friend
or family member, keep in mind that their viewpoint is frequently obscured by their
own issues and typically has nothing to do with an INFJ. This is still frustrating and
draining, but keeping this in mind can help maintain that inner peace.
Next up and number 6 is It is not an INFJs responsibility to change anyone's behavior.
Don't waste your time attempting to "correct" or persuade your family members to change
their minds. Most of us are aware that altering anyone, particularly those who have no desire
to change, is practically impossible. Growth and change come from within, and it takes
a very strong individual to accept that they are wrong and then take action to correct
the situation. The majority of closed-minded people are closed-minded about everything,
including their own feelings and thoughts. Your remarks will fall on deaf ears until
they are willing to admit their mistakes and make a willing change for the better. You
may feel obliged to help as an INFJ, but keep in mind that it must originate from within
the other person - and that is a difficult hurdle to overcome.
Coming in at number 5 on today's list is INFJs are not defective because they have a creative
mind and the capacity to identify multiple points of view.
Please don't question yourself because someone else is closed-minded. INFJs have a lot to
offer the world. They must lean into and trust their introverted intuition. Introverted intuition
rarely takes them down the wrong path, as you may know, and this is especially true
when dealing with close-minded relatives and family. Others may not perceive what an INFJ
sees, but it does not imply they should discount or ignore what their gut is telling them.
In reality, that is precisely the time when they must guarantee that they are paying attention
to their intuition. It's probably not right if it doesn't feel right. Just because other
people don't understand it, doesn’t mean it isn't valuable.
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Next up and number 4 is INFJs have only two things within their control: their interpretations
and their reactions. As I said earlier, no matter how much INFJs
want someone to understand them or see their point of view, if others aren't willing and
open to it themselves, it will most likely be a lost cause. The way INFJs interpret and
react to certain situations is something they do have control over, however. When dealing
with someone who is closed-minded, it's important to be aware of whether someone is simply trying
to trigger them or get them caught up in their own drama. INFJs are not obligated to respond
to or interact with questions that are dismissive, condescending, or narrow-minded.
"You may be right," "I'll think about it," or "you've brought up some good points for
me to think about" are all respectable ways to diffuse a dispute. However, only say these
things if you truly believe them.
Starting our top 3 today is INFJs will be able to have greater compassion for others
if they're compassionate with themselves. One of the calling cards and gifts of INFJs
is compassion for others. It can be difficult for them to remember this while they are engaging
with friends or relatives who aren't open-minded. It can be even more difficult to ensure that
they have compassion for themselves. INFJs must remember that their feelings are real
and must not be dismissed. They will become a lot more open and understanding of themselves
if they can pay attention to what they are feeling, respect it, and trust that it is
a method to help their introverted intuition. This will give them the confidence and capability
to deal with and handle situations and people who aren't open-minded.
In the runner-up spot and number 2, today is Going outside, and taking a few deep breaths
can be really relaxing. INFJs enjoy spending time alone and in silence.
It's especially vital when they're dealing with others who don't understand or respect
them. If things start to get heated, it's essential to step away from those people and
find some alone time to collect their thoughts and re-center. In certain instances, deep
breathing, being in nature, or going for a walk can be immensely helpful, and it also
allows the other person to take a step back and assess the situation as well. Of course,
only if they are willing.
Topping our list and the number 1 way an INFJ can deal with close-minded friends or family
members is INFJs are not responsible for what other people think of them.
It’s true. It is not an INFJs responsibility to change the way people think of them. Like
I mentioned earlier, changing a person's views or opinions is incredibly difficult. Only
if they are open and willing to make that change themselves, will it actually happen.
INFJs need to be mindful to not waste their time and energy on those people who don’t
spend time and energy on themselves. Like banging your head against a wall it can be
incredibly draining and frustrating for an INFJ to constantly try to change other people's
viewpoints of them when they have no interest in doing so. It is important for an INFJ to
recognize that and to move on from those situations as quickly as possible. Saving their time
and energy for those people who actually value their unique capabilities and actually want
to better understand.
Above all, an INFJ must protect their inner peace.
If you're preparing for a tough family gathering, you might need a lot of support.
A specialist could help you with counseling or simply having an unbiased 3rd party to
listen. You could confide in a trusted friend or family
member about your worries and frustrations. You could also join a supportive online community
- like our Success For Breakfast community. Before and after these gatherings with family
and friends, take some time to relax. Get outside, rest, read a book, or listen to music
that makes you happy.
What are your thoughts or experiences when dealing with closed-minded friends and family
as an INFJ? Leave a comment and let me know.
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