How did you meet my dad?
It was an arranged marriage I, we...
What?
Hi my name is Malaka and this is my mom.
Hi, my name is Inji and I'm the mother.
My name is Valentina and this is my dad.
I'm Gus Viana.
My name is Vitan and this is my mother.
I'm Maria and I'm the mother.
So how would you say your relationship is with your dad?
Do you tell him everything?
I'm able to tell her everything and I think she's able to tell me everything.
Yeah she's my best friend!
Not everything.
I would say maybe like 50 percent.
What?
Yeah I tell my mom absolutely everything, even down to like the dirty stuff... yup everything
yeah
I think we're supposed to be asking each other questions?
About relationships?
Relationships I guess?
Yeah.
Hers.
About dating?
Dating?!
Are you nervous about this?
Are you?
Now I am.
A little bit.
I bet you are!
Tell me about your first date.
Many, many many moons away?
Many moons ago.
How was it?
Nobody knew anything about this.
Was it a secret?
Did you keep it from...?
It's still kept a secret till this moment.
Now they know!
He bought me ice cream.
I love that.
Tell me about your first ever kiss.
Oh!
I'll tell you!
I was 16 I believe, but I remember that day for such a long time.
We were on the beach and I really love that boy...
I really like was wow, so it was a beautiful first kiss.
Wow, that's romantic.
Not gonna happen in my generation.
How old were you when you had your kiss?
Oh my God.
Lost your virginity?
Oh no, I don't want to know this.
This is what i was -- Let's keep it with the kiss, let's keep it with the kiss.
Maybe I was like 11-12 for my first kiss.
11?
Yes.
Wow. it was so, literally so gross, my next kiss was when i was like 15.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
He open his mouth like a fish?
Probably.
It was probably a lot of teeth.
Oh my God...
My virginity was good.
I was a good girl.
I was 17.
WHAT?
17.
You were supposed to wait until the 18!
Almost.
How did you meet my dad?
It was an arranged marriage uh we -- WHAT?
Yeah, his family knew my family and...
They're like I got a handsome son.
Exactly!
And your family like I got a handsome daughter.
Did you get to sit together like alone?
For the second half of the event.
Oh my God.
I got married because I got pregnant, otherwise i didn't believe much in marriage.
Some of the relatives on his side said that they wouldn't invite us to any, you know gatherings
and we felt that maybe it's a good idea and I was pregnant, maybe seven months pregnant
on my on my wedding.
How are the women in your country compared to what you see now?
Like before, as a man I had to do all the job: call her, bring her flowers, invite her,
pay for stuff.
Right now it's more like a split step like uh, they're more straightforward.
It's harder of course because you you cannot just buy your stuff to win them over.
What were you expected to do as a woman?
Well I think one of the expectations they don't really talk about it is to be obedient
to listen to your parents, to listen to your husband, to listen to whoever is your caregiver.
Did you hear you just said though?
Caregiver.
Yeah, like you always had somebody, like you were never just taking care of yourself.
Even though that I was working.
Even if I'm, you know, earning my money but if I'm not married my father was my caregiver,
even if he's not giving me any money.
When is a good time to have sex?
Like in the afternoon or at night and stuff?
Me, I just feel like I have to feel comfortable with the person.
OK, right yeah, I was gonna say.
But i think like whatever if you want to do it on the first date if you want to meet someone
and then we just go have sex.
No!
Before was more like being a gentleman and you know invite the girl and win her over.
Do you think we don't want to want them to win us over or?
It doesn't look like it.
I wouldn't think my dad would be this romantic.
Honestly.
I am not.
I mean I used to be like a, let's hit it up with whatever girls out there, but it's fun
to like a win them over anyways, like not that easy.
Did you know your husband was the one?
When you take a decision to get married you don't have with it a decision to divorce so
when I took a decision to get married, I married for life and I was convinced that I was in
love and i was convinced that he was in love.
You change, situations change and suddenly you realize, oh maybe this is not the right
person.
How old were you when you had your first kiss?
Lost your virginity?
Oh OK, great.
I discovered my sexuality all the way in university, second year university was the first time
that I actually understood that I was gay and when I came out as gay, I saw this guy
that I was attracted to and so we went to a party, we got drunk and everything and then
we made out, so uh yeah, so that was my first actual kiss.
OK, believe it or not I'm actually still a virgin.
I mean I've done stuff, I've done stuff, which like I don't want to get into.
When I did come out to my father and he just sat me down.
He's like, hey listen I don't care what you want to be, but as long as you have sex with
a girl first I'm fine with you doing whatever you want and I was kind of like taken back
because I was like, OK so you don't really support the whole idea.
You just, like you just want me to have like that one kill, like that one you know body
count.
What's your type?
I know that but go ahead, elaborate.
What's my type? Crazy. That's my type
Crazy. Toxic.
Dumb guys that look like rappers
Like what?
Rappers
The last guy you dated looked like a smuggler
He didn't
He did
Ah this is such a good one.
Would you want to date in my time?
Why or why not? Already I have you know.. like no ah
The short answer - no.
Really? You'd rather date in your time when every date was supposed to be a potential marriage?
I know, I know, I know. Again, I wasn't trained for this
Imagine you're my age now, you know?
That's a lot of pressure. Oh why? Definitely have more freedom
Yeah, you have more choices. See, the difference between your time and my time: I didn't have choices
You have to put in so much more time and effort into meeting someone which can be exhau--
but in the end, like when you both mutually decide you're my person, like that's real it's not
because our parents decided you're my person. It's like we decided
A 100%
But it takes so much more effort to reach that stage, that's my opinion
Is your relationship with dad, mom
an example for what you would want? OK, not at all like no, no
I think divorce is the happiest moment in my life. They had a very strenuous sort of tense relationship
they were so bad at conflict resolution, they were so bad at active listening, so bad at
being empathetic with each other, specifically my father. Like my mom did everything she could
to salvage the relationship. Actually you know, I'm happy that he's honest, having this example
maybe he should look for some other example for relationships. My relationship with my mom
is something that I really cherish a lot and I hope to have that with my significant other one day
How are the men in Egypt compared to what you see now here? Do you feel like men
in in North America I guess, are held more accountable for their actions than men in
Egypt? 100%. Because women, we're held super accountable in Egypt for breathing. Anything we do has
a little microscope on it. In Egypt all of the expectation points go towards the man
like financially providing and just being the man of the house, yeah and they don't go
towards like his behavior or like whether or not he's being faithful, like they don't
go there. Do you use a dating app? Show me your profile
So I have used them. I'm not using one right now. Tinder, Hinge, Bumble all of that. Hinge?
I've tried all of them. That's so dirty. Before we I started a relationship I met her in a bar or in a wedding
and then we started talking and she called me and I called her back, and now it's everything
is swipe up and agree or disagree. What were you expected to do? Definitely there was pressure
from you know the society, the family and but I think that I was putting the pressure on
myself as well, to be an average and to be like everybody else, like my friends, to start
a family, this whole experience made me realize that the most important thing is for someone
to be happy, it's not to be perfect even if happiness comes with so many imperfections
that's fine, but you should seek happiness not seek being just part of the society and
and being like an average, like everybody else. And that's the end of the questions! How was
that? It was a good conversation. I feel like he's gonna have nightmares tonight. It creeped me a lot the sex part but yeah
Good answers! I'm just really glad I don't have my Hinge profile anymore
That was so fun. Yeah! I think I made her really uncomfortable but that's good, we grow through
discomfort. I kind of like lost all my nerves and everything as we went along and then I
just learned about my mom and like the challenges that we both face with dating
What I feel is like you spent a lot of time not allowed to be yourself. You're allowed to be
yourself but in certain boundaries. That's not being yourself! And I feel like now because
i'm making you uncomfortable you're sort of like, you know, you are able to be yourself
more. There is a beauty in knowing who you are and living it, and and living it without fear