okay people it's common knowledge that a
hero with a secret identity almost
always needs a good disguise
unfortunately not all disguises are good
I'm Jocelyn the intern I do all the
research nobody else wants to straight
from the desk of DEATH BATTLE so
disguises are important duh I mean Bruce
Wayne can't simply go out fighting crime
without the bat suit right otherwise
it'd be villain city up in Wayne Manor
heck it isn't until he dons the suit
that he actually becomes the Batman and
the bat suit is a great suit as far as
disguises go
it nearly covers him from head to toe it
effectively augments his natural shape
making it harder for people to
accurately depict his height weight hair
color and so on good suit is good but
what about Robin
more specifically Dick Grayson how does
his disguise measure up like a short kid
trying to get on a roller coaster that's
how I mean what the H a double hockey
sticks was Bruce thinking you yeah you
have a kid who is literally on the front
page of newspapers in Gotham in a
gymnast leotard with his stupid dead
parents how do you think we should go
about masking his identity Bruce oh I
don't know maybe just wear the exact
same dopey leotard stick a tiny mask to
his face and throw a cape on the boy oh
yeah sure that'll work and then we'll
galavant him around town where he can
beat up bad guys with the skills
confidence and reckless abandon that
only a recently orphaned trapezius would
have you know it's kind of hard to
strike fear into the criminals of the
underworld when you're showing more
thigh than Jessica Rabbit how did some
clever Gotham citizen not pick up on
that mm speaking of citizens I'm pretty
sure almost every civilian in Green
Arrow's hometown of Silver City is a
[ __ ] I mean come on people can you not
put two and two together
it's for you Dumbo's okay let me break
it down you live in a town with Green
Arrow a superhero that has very
distinctive facial hair and a costume
that doesn't hide much now in the exact
same town lives a rich self-employed
local celebrity with the same
distinctive facial hair you don't need
to be Sherlock Holmes for chrissake
Curious George could probably crack this
case and he throws his own poop
but there is one disguise so obvious yet
effective it's been used by countless
heroes and villains I'm talking about
the trench coat and hat one only needs
to apply these items to blend perfectly
into fictional society
take for instance Raphael a mutated
anthropomorphic turtle he can easily
take to the streets by donning this
social cloak of invisibility uh look at
his feet look at his face you know
somebody's gotta pass by and be like oh
snap that was a giant turtle dressed
like Dick Tracy but that was that look
like sort of a big title in a trench
coat or how about Ben Grimm commonly
known as the thing he's well you know
you he's a giant rock monster you're
telling me that even with the oh so
cleverly added sunglasses he looks
normal
surely there's got to be something out
there that won't be able to slip by
these people with this covert costume
right I mean it's not like Godzilla can
just throw these things on and be able
to cruise the town with the dope come on
people come on
well guys and gals that's all for today
but don't think those are the only dumb
disguises out there trust me there's
plenty in fact let me know who you think
has the dumbest disguise in the comments
oh and while you're doing that don't
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