OF COURSE, THERE WAS ANOTHER BIG VOTE THIS WEEKEND: EUROVISION.
THANK YOU, EUROPEANS.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) EUROVISION IS A NO-HOLDS-BARRED
MUSICAL THROWDOWN WHERE EUROPEAN COUNTRIES COMPETE TO SEE WHO CAN
WRITE THE BEST POP SONG.
IT'S THE BIGGEST EUROPE-WIDE CONTEST SINCE THE 14TH CENTURY'S
"SO YOU THINK YOU CAN BLACK PLAGUE."
(LAUGHTER) NO ONE WON THAT ONE.
(LAUGHTER) THE COUNTRIES ARE JUDGED ON THE
PERFORMANCE OF THEIR SIGNATURE SONG.
IT'S CALLED "EUROVISION" -- "EURO", MEANING "EUROPE" AND
"VISION," MEANING "SOUND".
(LAUGHTER) I IMAGINE WHY IT WOULD BE CALLED
THAT.
FOR EUROPEANS, THIS IS THE BIGGEST MEDIA EVENT EVERY YEAR.
AND THIS WEEKEND, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN ITS 60-YEAR HISTORY,
EUROVISION WAS BROADCAST IN AMERICA.
SO WE FINALLY SAW AMAZING ACTS LIKE THESE:
(SINGING) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> STEPHEN: WOW, THEIR WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW IS REALLY
DIFFERENT.
(LAUGHTER) AND THIS WEEKEND, EVERYTHING
CAME TO A HEAD WHEN JAMALA OF UKRAINE WON WITH HER SONG,
"1944."
ARE YOU READY TO GET DOWN?!
AND I MEAN "REALLY" DOWN, BECAUSE THE SONG IS ABOUT
STALIN'S MASS DEPORTATION OF THE CRIMEAN TATARS DURING WORLD
WAR II.
>> ♪ "WHEN STRANGERS ARE COMING, THEY COME TO YOUR HOUSE
♪ THEY KILL YOU ALL, AND SAY 'WE'RE NOT GUILTY'
>> STEPHEN: WELL, WE FOUND THE SONG OF THE SUMMER!
NOTHING PUMPS UP THE JAM LIKE ETHNIC CLEANSING!
(LAUGHTER) I WANT TO CONGRATULATE JAMALA OF
UKRAINE AND SAY, "ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS!"
BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT - THE ONLY REASON YOU WON EUROVISION IS
BECAUSE AMERICA WASN'T IN IT!
WHY CAN'T WE COMPETE?
WE'RE THE MOST EUROPEAN COUNTRY IN THE WORLD: WE INVENTED THE
FRAPPUCINO AND THE G-STRING.
WE EAT WAY MORE PIZZA THAN ITALY, AND WE'RE "THIS" CLOSE TO
ELECTING BENITO MUSSOLINI.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
AND WE'RE READY FOR NEXT YEAR'S EUROVISION, BECAUSE I ALREADY
FOUND THE ARTIST WHO WILL REPRESENT OUR COUNTRY.
HERE NOW, SINGING AMERICA'S OFFICIAL EUROVISION SONG "THE
LIVING LIFE," TRANSLATED FROM THE ORIGINAL EUROPEAN, PLEASE
WELCOME: NOÓRNAAÄS!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ♪
♪ ♪
>> ♪ WHO ARE YOU TO SAY I CANNOT HAVE THE DREAMS
♪ THAT I WANT TO DREAM TODAY GONNA TAKE A MIRACLE TO STEAL
♪ THIS RAIN AWAY I LOVE LIVING THE LIVING LIFE
♪ REACH OUT AND TOUCH THE FANTASY
♪ I LOVE LIVING THE LIVING LIFE A BEAUTIFUL STARLIGHT CAN MAKE
♪ OUR DREAMS COME REAL IT'S TIME TO BREAK IT UP!
♪ SHOO-SHOO LALA BABAY!
SHOO-SHOO LALA MY GIRL ♪ SHOO-SHOO LALA MY TENDERONI
HOLD YOUR BREATH AS FAST AS YOU ♪ CAN
♪ CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
>> C'MON!
♪ I LOVE LIVING THE LIVING LIFE COME ON AND SQUEEZE THE OCEAN
♪ WAVE I LOVE LIVING THE LIVING LIFE
♪ LISTEN MY DEAR - TOMORROW IS ALWAYS NOW
>> STEPHEN: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JASON SUDEIKIS!