Film Courage: Have you seen people who have supposedly “made it” (and we won’t mention
any names) but they feel like they haven’t made it and that really with making it you
never really assume that you’ve made it [or arrived].
That it’s one job to the next, dry spells, failures, a success.
That there’s not…”Oh yes, this is textbook making it.”
Jack Perez, Filmmaker: That’s a great question.
I don’t know about other people but I know it in myself.
I definitely know it in myself that I’m still thinking about making it.
I don’t know about other people because I haven’t really spoken to…I have friends
of mine who are classically big success filmmakers but I’ve never heard them talk about that
they don’t think they’ve made it.
Maybe they have.
I mean I think if you’re ambitious and you’re shooting for something maybe you never really
see what you have attained.
And I think that for someone like myself I know that there have been plenty of times
recently where I’ve been like jealous of someone else’s success or feeling like I
got screwed and didn’t get to make enough movies or get the kind of budgets I think
I deserved or things like that.
And it really takes somebody on the outside like my wife going you know what you are whining
about poor me but think about how many people would like have given up their arms to have
done what you did.
Sometimes it takes that kind of bucket of cold water to go yeah yeah yeah you are right.
I am the luckiest guy on earth.
I think that the ambitious person they are already looking for the next thing anyway
so if you are satisfied with what you’ve done maybe you’re not going to do the next
thing anyway and you just go “Well I did it.”
But the thing that I think drives creative people is this need to keep doing it.
In a way you keep kind of canceling out, you are forgetting what you did.
But it’s not enough anyway.
I think about this sometimes because we spend all this time gearing up and thinking about
it and finally making the thing and then that’s going to be over and then shortly after that
you’re kind of like “I’m not happy.
I’ve got to do another thing.”
I remember seeing in that great documentary IT CAME FROM KUCHAR about George and Mike
Kuchar.
And the great experimental independent filmmaker George Kuchar is making some crazy project
and they are filming him putting the last touches on the editing.
He makes the last cut and as soon as he makes the last cut he goes “Now I’m depressed.
I’ve got to make another movie.”
It’s almost that immediate, back to the addict thing, you need that thing.
So I think that attributes to a lack of perspective which I know I’ve had where I’m just so
concentrated on what I need to do next to fulfill whatever it is that I’ve forgotten
that I’ve done some things that I should be happy with.
Like yes, you managed to accomplish that’s good.
Maybe that’s more typical that not, I don’t know?
Film Courage: Maybe in some ways that’s a good quality to have - forgetting about
your success a day after it happens because then it’s going to keep you going to the
next, going to the next.
Jack: I think so.
Film Courage: Because if you are too happy about it, that’s it.
I don’t need it.
Jack: Yes, I think it can be a nice balance.
I think that in the time where you are not getting…when things are falling apart.
Like even if you’ve only made one movie or short and you are struggling to make the
next thing and you feel like it’s never going to happen you should still be able to
hopefully call upon what you have done, even if it’s just written the screenplay you
can say “You know what?
I accomplished that.
It was not easy.”
No everybody can do that, that’s something to feel good about while I worry about that
I worry about that I’m not making the next thing.
If you can take that information and use that to support yourself and take care of yourself
I think that’s a healthy thing to remember as opposed to just being in a constant state
of want or a constant state of I don’t have and I must…like a junkie again waiting to
get well.
It’s like in a way you almost need to remember what you have accomplished and use that as
a buoy or something to lift yourself up when you do have those dry spells which are frequent.
Most of us never get to make a movie every year or every two years or even every three
years.
It takes a lot of time and you have to have something to sustain yourself other than misery
that you are just not making a movie.
It’s a good question.
It makes me think about it.
I’ve got to stop whining sometimes.