>> THE PRESIDENT'S BEEFED-UP LEGAL TEAM FILLED WITH
MADE-FOR-TV LAWYERS PREPARES TO DEFEND HIM.
>> HE WANTED TV-READY LAWYERS -- LLO.
ARE YOU AN UNCHARISMATIC LAWYER WHO WANTS TO BE PART OF AN
HISTORIC DEFENSE OF THE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF?
THEN COME TO DARIUS LIGHTHOUSE'S ACTING SCHOOL OF LEGAL ACTING!
AU CHAUNTE!
I'M DARIUS LIGHTHOUSE.
I OBJECT!
OVERRULED!
SUSTAINED!
I HAVE TAUGHT TENS OF STUDENTS WHO'VE GONE ON TO PERFORM AS
LAWYERS ON FOX NEWS AND OTHER SHOWS ON FOX NEWS.
YOU WILL LEARN SUCH TV LAW TECHNIQUES AS THE SOUTHERN
SUSPENDERS!
( SOUTHERN ACCENT ) YOUR HONOR, I MAY BE A HUMBLE
COUNTRY LAWYER, BUT SINCE IS WHEN ENTICE AGO FOREIGN
GOVERNMENT TO MESS WITH OUR ELECTION A CATTY WAMPUS BOOGER
BOO?
I REST MY CASE!
AND THE ANGRY TUBAS.
>> IS IT YOUR POSITION THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP SHOULD NOT BE
IMPEACHED EVEN IF ALL THE EVIDENCE AND ARGUMENTS LAID OUT
BY THE HOUSE ARE ACCEPTED AS FACT?
>> I'LL ANSWER THE QUESTION.
YOU WANT ANSWERS?
I THINK 'EM ENTITLED.
YOU WANT ANSWERS?
I WANT THE TRUTH!
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
I REST MY CASE.
SO SIGN UP TODAY FOR DARIUS LIGHTHOUSE'S ACTING SCHOOL OF
LEGAL ACTING, AND YOU CAN TRUST ME BECAUSE I'M NOT ONLY THE
THEATER'S DIRECTOR, I'VE ALSO PLAYED A PIVOTAL CHARACTER ON
"LAW AND ORDER."
>> HE WAS KILLED RIGHT HERE.
KEYS RIGHT HERE.
HIS BRIEFCASE.
HE JUST GOT HOME FROM WORK.
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪ >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE
SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!