Hey everybody.
Happy Wednesday.
And when it's Wednesday here at katimorton.com
That means that I'm on the website.
And if you haven't been on katimorton.com itself,
And checked out the chat.
There are wonderful things happening.
Lots of supportive people.
Since, you know, I'm travelling now.
And I'm not online as much.
It's a great way to get some extra support.
And I'm also on youtube.
So if you asked your questions below yesterday's video,
I have two today.
As well as a journal topic.
So lets get going.
First question says,
'Hey Kati, I feel like I am probably not the only one who has this issue.'
'I get severe anxiety every time I go to see my therapist.'
'And I have a difficult time being honest.'
'I was consistent for a bit, every other week.'
'But I haven't gone back in a while.'
'And I'm not sure why I get so freaked out though.'
'We, my therapist and I.'
'Have gone through the gist of things. But it's just hard to get deeper.'
'Should I try and find another therapist?'
Now a lot of people gave this a thumbs up.
So I know that this person really isn't alone in struggling with this.
And there are a couple of things that I want to talk about.
The first being,
If you just feel anxious around this person,
It has nothing to do with the, you know,
The fact that you're talking about things that are uncomfortable.
You just don't really jive with your therapist.
Like I've talked before,
The most important thing in the therapeutic relationship,
Is the fact that you really feel that connection with them.
You kind of click with them.
It's easy to talk to them.
If you don't find this happening with, you know, most people in your life.
That's when I would consider looking into finding another therapist.
Because that would tell me that it's really that person,
And it's not just something that you're going through.
But if you find that you're struggling with, you know,
Connecting with people.
Talking with your friends.
If you're just really, you get really anxious and have a lot of social anxiety.
That's when I would make sure you bring up with your therapist.
And I would talk to them.
And say, you know,
'I have trouble with my friends. I even struggle with you to bring up things.'
'I get really freaked out before my sessions.'
I would just tell it like you're telling it to me.
Because there's no shame in that.
And that gives your therapist more information,
So that they can put together a plan and help you work on it.
Right.
Like I said in my video yesterday.
The more we share with them.
The more open and honest we are about it.
The more information they have so that they can actually help us.
Right.
And if any of you have tips and tricks.
If you have struggled with social anxiety.
And there are ways that you have helped open up to your therapist,
Can you let us know below.
Because the more we work together.
The better we all get.
Right.
Now the second question is,
'Hey Kati, I am just over a year into recovery from anorexia.'
'And I have made some really big strides to a happier life.'
That's awesome.
'That being said.'
'I know that I still struggle much more than anyone would ever deserve.'
'And acknowledge that I have plenty of further work to do.'
'Recently I have been beginning to accept,'
'That I can't go much longer with trying to hide the truth about my sexuality.'
'I am more than certain that I'm not completely straight.'
'And I'm working on accepting that I, as a guy,'
'Am more attracted to men than I want to admit.'
'I have a very supportive friend group and family,'
'Who love me just as much if I were bi or gay.'
'But I still hesitate to come out because I have an established identity,'
'Of being a token straight friend in my stereo-typically gay setting.'
'I am in choir, theatre, etc.'
'I know that this identity has held me back from being myself 100%.'
'And I worry how much these restraints,'
'Play in the control that my eating disorder still has on me.'
'Is it possible that the hardships of coming out,'
'Will make it easier to make further steps toward a healthy self,'
'In regards to my eating disorder. How might the two be connected?'
And I know that's a really long question,
That's why I only did two questions today.
But I know,
This had a lot of conversation on my website.
And I know a lot of people struggle with this.
And there is, to some extent, a connection between our sexuality,
And a lot of times our eating disorder.
Our self harm.
Our depression.
Because we utilise those coping skills.
So if we're struggling with an eating disorder,
Like I said before,
Often times we're using it to hide something that's going on.
We're using it as a way to cope with something else that's going on.
And in my estimation with this person.
The eating disorder probably ties into it very closely.
And the fact that it's all part of your identity, and what you believe you are.
And the fact that maybe you feel inside that you're actually not that identity.
Can be really uncomfortable.
And make us really stressed out.
And really anxious.
And, you know, we're questioning everything.
And who the hell are we?
And what is this?
And, ahh.
And so we use our eating disorder as a way to kind of make that go away.
To squish that down.
Forget about the fact that, you know, we're feeling these things.
Or questioning our sexuality.
Or whatever stage we are in the coming out process.
So it does tie very closely to one another.
So if any of you out there are having issues with your sexuality.
You're in that questioning period.
You know,
It's very common for your self harm to get a little bit worse.
Your depression to get a little bit worse.
And I would just encourage you to reach out for help.
Find a therapist.
Start talking about it.
Know that you don't have to be in the 'I know I'm definitely gay.'
Or 'I'm definitely this.'
You can be in the questioning period for a really really long time.
So just know that it's okay to talk about it.
It's okay to feel that kind of discomfort and 'Who am I?'
Because we're all in different stages of figuring out who we are as people.
And the more we talk about,
The less we will feel the need to use our eating disorder.
Our self harm.
Our depression.
To cope with it.
Okay.
Now journal topic says,
'I don't know how many people have said anything about this.'
'But I know someone who used to put out a quote a day,'
'That was inspirational on public chat.'
'She stopped for a while because she needed a break.'
'But here is one that I thought would be good for a journal topic.'
'The quote is from a song. Here it is,'
"Every storm runs out of rain. Just like every dark night turns in to day."
'So think back to something that you have had a hard time with,'
'And thought it would never end. Write about it.'
'How you got through it.'
'Maybe even share with others how you feel comfortable doing so.'
'Because you could be able to help them.'
'P.s. Maria came up with this whole thing.'
'So I posted it for her. And I take no credit for it at all.'
But the quote again.
I'm going to say it one more time is,
"Every storm runs out of rain, just like every dark night turns in to day."
I thought that was a really cool one.
And I also like the idea that there,
Was someone in chat posting a, you know, inspirational quote every day.
That's how great the website is.
So if you haven't gotten on, I'd check it out now.
And I will see you all tomorrow on twitter.
So ask your questions there using the #KatiFAQ
Bye.
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