Behind every strong man is a stronger woman with a sword.
[Becky] Upside-down triangle.
And how far down does it go to my cheek?
[Becky] Your…go to like your nasal labia- or your ummm
*Becky laughing* *mouthes* my what?
Your nasal labial folds.
My nasal labia? Uh…I don’t have a labia, and my labia definitely doesn’t have a nose.
Nasal labial fold!
Honey, don’t talk about my labial folds!
I’m hoping Keith doesn’t pick anything too weird in the back of our freezer.
[Keith] She said she didn’t want anything from the freezer, so I’m gonna start there.
[Keith] I’m just…
[Becky] I’ve never stabbed you before in my life!
[Keith] No, Rebecca, we’ve been through this. I have no idea what I’m doing.
*beeping*
[Keith] Your head…it’s complete darkness
Oh no! Rebecca’s crashing!
- REBECCA! REBECCA! She’s crashing!
- REBECCA!
STAT STAT COLD BLUE COLD BLUE
- COLD BLUE REBECCA, Okay, we’re gonna keep you. What do we need?
Did I tell you that I’m wearing a corset this weekend?
- Are you wearing it now? EWWWWWEUGGHH
Ew! I didn’t like the way that felt. I thought you weren’t gonna have it on!
*both laughing*
[Keith] It’s time to give Becky her gift for Valentine’s Day.
Did you make soap? - I made soap!
[Keith] I’m gonna go put on my leggings.
Mmkay, have fun. - Thanks.
Shimmy on out. Ooh I can see your butt!
- My booty!
You can see your butt!
- Does it pass the test yet?
Oh my god.
*both laughing* Get outta there! My god!
My god! - Woooo! Alright!
Now, you might be wondering, “Keith, we really can’t see Becky’s feet that well.”
Well, that was by request of Becky.
You can see her toes, that’s all you need to see, you SICKOS.
Stop trying to look at her feet, you weirdos.
[Keith] One!
*snorts*
*everyone laughing*
[Keith] Whadd’ya think?
[Keith] How do I look?
It’s like a horror movie! You look like you died!
[Becky] You look like…ew, you’re scaring me!
- And I’ll love YOU no matter what.
*laughing*
You look like the man who’s trying to protect his house.
*both laughing*
- And in the… And then he’s dead!
He’s actually dead!
Oh my god. Why!?
Why are you like this?
What happened to your teeth?
- All the coffee, over time.
You’re not gonna trim your ears?
YOU’RE supposed to trim my ears.
Something happened to my hands.
Maybe you don’t like the glasses.
I don’t know if that’s it.
[Becky] I’m gonna pee my pants.
[Keith] Can we make HER look old please?
This seems very one-sided.
- I hate it so much. What happened?
Well, I’m 104. - Ohhh.
Lookin’ good, babe.
Thanks.
Becky was mean to me in the beginning of the week. She was just giving me more stuff to hold.
Can you get the door? Oh no.
*both laughing* C’mon.
So every time we do these lady experiments now, she’s like “OH NO I’m gonna make it even worse for you!”
I got the door open. Thanks, Becky.
Marriage is a partnership.
I’d say for every book Becky reads, I don’t read one.
I also dressed in the same outfit as Becky to be extra cute and very on-point. - We wanna be twins.
Yes. We’re like little cult leaders. - Yeah.
Um…*creepily* Welcome to our cult.
[Keith] Coolest part of the gift? Is there’s a little guy!
*Becky laughing*
[Keith] Happy Valentine’s Day, Becky!
[Becky] Adorable. Kim saw them and thought “Becky. Keith.”
- “Burger. King.”
Keith! Mama gave that to you.
[Becky] So we could have it together!
*Becky gasps*
I hope you don’t…
- You just made me fuck up! I didn’t!
BECKY AHWDJFSDAUGH *Becky laughing*
The lady said it needed to be FIFTEEN INCHES LONG.
I need you to BACK OFF. - Oh my god!
I’m supposed to be MEDITATING!
- You need to calm down.
*Becky gasps* “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You!” This is our wedding song!
This is literally our first dance song!
*laughing* That’s great. That’s very funny.
- That’s! That’s good! That’s good!
Now, of course, you’re the expert in the house, so I’m hoping that you’ll just walk me through…
What to do.
So I’m gonna give myself my own facial?
No. I’M gonna give you YOUR own facial. - Oh, okay.
Where do we start?
[Keith] What do you see? - Just your booty.
What do you SEE?
- Oh my god.
You gotta go a little lower and then lean back.
*laughing* No, not like that.
Should we put the ranch on it and see if that was it?
*sighs* Go get the ranch. - Yes!
[Keith] Oh my god.
Keith, we’re married now! - No, you’re not!
I married her.
[Keith] PUT THAT RING BACK ON! NOOO!
- Wait does that mean I’m married to Keith?
[Keith] Yeah. - Sisterhusbands!
[Eugene and Zach] Sisterwives. - Okay, I can get down with that.
Becky, my loving wife, who isn’t pregnant like her doting husband,
- GETTIN’ LIT! GETTIN LIT! Is getting lit. Oh, god.
- WOOP WOOP! Oh please, please don’t.
Gin and juice for my wife.
So, here’s why you gotta donate. Let’s check out all the cool stuff. Let’s go!
[Zach] Your lovely fiancée. - She’s a goof.
Gettin’ married! Stuck together forever!