(energetic music)
- [Narrator] D.E.R.P.!
- Hey guys!
Gonna play some Goat Simulator here!
- I saw the Batsignal!
Where's Commissioner Gordon?
- Batman?
Batman, what are you doing here?
- What's the problem, is it the Joker?
- What?
- I saw the signal, I saw the Batsignal.
- Oh no, that's just my night light.
- Your night light?
- Yeah, I have a Batman night light,
with like your silhouette on it.
- Oh, so you do, I see it there.
- Yeah.
- That's a really powerful night light.
- I know!
You wanna play some Goat Simulator with me maybe?
- You want me to play a video game with you?
- Yeah, I mean, seeing as how
you weren't doing anything else.
- Sure I guess.
I thought there was a crime happening,
but since there's not I guess we can.
How does this work?
- Oh yeah, well...
- I don't usually play a lot of video games.
- We just click play.
Yeah, it, it's...
It's this game where you're a goat.
- I'm sorry?
- You get to wander...
- No, I'm a Bat!
- No, no, no, you're a goat, see?
See, there we are under that wheel barrel there.
- I don't understand?
Why would you want to be a goat?
- You're gonna see why in a second here.
So, I'm just like, running around.
- Uh huh.
- like a goat do.
- Sure.
You said it was a Goat Simulator,
and now you're climbing a ladder.
Doesn't seem like a very accurate simulator.
- Oh man, I didn't even know you could do this.
This is next level goat action!
- What is happening to your head?
- I'm climb, it's a...
- What's happening to your goat head, it's horrifying!
- I'm gonna do something.
- Don't do it goat, don't do it!
Goat!
Your gonna hurt yourself, you should climb back down.
- No, these goats die all the time.
It's not even a big deal.
- Wow, this is dark.
I'm always surrounded by death!
- You'll get it.
- Wherever I go, I'm surrounded by death.
- I'm gonna jump.
- Don't jump, you're gonna...
- I'm gonna jump on whatever that is!
- Don't do it goat!
- It's a hang glider!
- [Both] Oh! Oh my! Oh!
- You don't even have Batwings!
What are you...
Oh, Oh!
I could've saved you.
I could've done something.
- You play for a little bit, here.
- I'll give it a try.
- Aw man, that was so cool.
- Alright, I'm climbing up the ladder here.
I saw you doing this earlier so I figure...
figure I can do this.
Hey, hey, you know what would be a lot of fun?
- What?
- Staring at a goat's butt.
(laughs)
for 10 minutes.
- And you know what, it is.
Okay, if you successful jump on a hang glider.
- Yeah.
- You're my new hero.
- I'm your new hero, who was your old hero?
- Superman was, and is currently.
(Batman smacks)
Ow!
Aw man!
- Superman's your hero.
- Yeah.
- Give me a break.
I don't even have powers, and I do tons of crazy stuff.
- Yeah, you don't have any powers, that's the thing.
- Alright, well watch this.
You don't need powers.
When you
are
Batman.
I'm jumping.
- [Both] Oh!
- I am vengeance!
I am the night!
- I can't believe it!
- I am Goatman!
- You're still riding it!
Look at all the points you're getting.
- Yeah, racking up points.
But it can't bring back my parents.
- Be careful, don't wreck it.
I don't want you to fall off this thing.
I want to see how far you ride this.
- Is the goat dead?
- Yeah.
- My goat's dead?
- The goat's always dead, usually dead.
- Why does everyone I love die?
- You fell off.
- Why does everything I care about die?
- You thought about your dead parents and you fell off.
- I will avenge you goat.
- Well, this is cool.
- I will avenge your death.
- You're still earning points.
- My goat friend.
- You're dead and earning points.
- This is so...
Oh, he's back.
- Yeah.
- Oh, thank god.
It says Michael Bay.
Michael Bay.
- What is this voice you're doing?
- That's my voice.
- Why do you talk like that?
Todd, that's how I talk.
- Hey, your ears falling off of your crappy costume.
- Hey whoa!
This is not my regular costume, okay.
- Yeah.
- My costume got destroyed by The Joker.
And so I had to go to the dollar store and pick up a spare.
- I mean, you're like a billionaire, right?
- What are you talking about?
- Shouldn't you have a spare suit?
- A billionaire, who's a billionaire?
- You are.
- Not me, I'm Batman.
I'm half bat, half man.
- Everybody knows who you actually are.
You could just say...
- Todd, shut up Todd!
- You're Bru....
- Shut up!
(Batman smacks)
Shut up Todd!
Todd shut up!
- Okay!
- Don't make me kill you, like I killed the second Robin.
- Mercy!
- Shut up!
- Uncle!
- Alright, that's better.
Alright, what's happening now Todd?
- Well.
- What are we doing now?
- We're pinned under a truck.
- Here, fix my ear Todd.
- Okay.
- It's getting a little flappy.
- Okay.
- That's much better.
- There we go, perfect.
I look good, right, I look like a bat?
- Oh yeah.
- You look at this and you go,
That is a bat man.
Batman.
- No, I was thinking more, bad.
It's just like...
- I'll take it.
- It's the worst costume ever.
- Oh crap!
I lost my ear.
- Okay.
- Did the goat just poop?
- No, that's how he stops.
- I saw a cloud pop out of his...
- He butt slides to a stop a lot.
- He butt slides?
- Yeah, have you ever watched a goat?
I mean, come on.
- I watched a goat.
- Lets do something fun.
- Alright.
Let's turn off Goat Simulator.
- No, climb the thing.
- Alright, I'll climb the ladder again, yep.
- Yep.
- Can't get enough of that.
- See it in the distance there?
- More ladder climbing.
- It's coming.
- We've come full circle.
- It's coming.
- Yep!
Yep, in about two minutes, something great's gonna happen.
The end of this game.
- See.
- This game should be called, Suicidal Goat Simulator.
- You didn't even wait for the...
- Whoa!
- Oh, you're gonna get in the box!
- Get in the box.
- You missed it.
- Get in the box.
- I wonder want's in that box.
- Go back and find out what's in that box.
- Yeah, let's go.
I'm sure it is more boxes.
Judging from what I've seen so far.
- What are you thinking are in those boxes?
- I don't think the programmers thought that far ahead Todd.
- Get back up that ladder.
- Alright, I'm getting up the ladder.
- Okay, here we go.
- Story of my life.
- This time, you gotta hit that trampoline just right
to get up in that box.
- I feel like this is one of those nightmares
that you can't wake up from.
- Yeah, I had a nightmare the other night.
You ever have nightmares?
- All the time.
- Man.
- I see my parents.
And the pearls, falling on the ground.
- Oh, du, du, du, dude.
- [Both] No
- I forgot about it for like one second.
- You gotta focus up, if we're gonna get in that box!
- Sorry, every time I get to the top of that ladder...
- What's in the box?!
- ♫ What's in the box?
- Anyway, I had a nightmare about my parents too.
- Oh yeah, what happened?
- They fed me brussel sprouts.
- Todd you have no idea what a nightmare is.
- Yeah, I do.
- My parents fed me brussel sprouts.
- Yeah?
- Then they fed me pain and tragedy,
when they died in front of me Todd!
(cries)
I'm alone in the world!
Alright, that's the end of the game.
Good Job!
- Alright, goat-sim!
- Up top.
Well, that was a lot of fun Todd.
- Yeah.
- Well, I guess we'll be in touch.
- Yeah, well...
- I gave you my number, right?
- No, no you didn't.
- Oh, must have slipped my mind.
gotta go!
- Aw man!
Well, back to Goat Simulator by myself.
- [Narrator] D.E.R.P.!
(shouting)
- Oh, you did it again!
(laughs)
I don't even press the buttons.
- Is there anything, I can't do?
- I beg to differ, you look exactly like Hilary Swank.
- I don't look anything like Hilary Swank.
I don't even know who that is.
- You're a girl, right?
- No, I'm not a girl!