Hello. This is 6 Minute English from BBC Learning English. I’m Neil.
And I’m Rob.
It’s great that you’re here to keep me company – to spend time
with me so I don’t get lonely – because loneliness is the subject
of this programme.
It’s good to be here, Neil.
I think many of us have experienced loneliness at some point.
Maybe you’ve felt lonely because all your friends have gone out for
dinner without you, or maybe you’ve felt lonely
just because you don’t fit in somewhere.
Yes, that’s when we sometimes use the expression ‘to
feel lonely in a crowd’.
Well, we’ll be exploring if this is a new idea or something humans
have always experienced, and along the way we’ll be teaching
you some new vocabulary.
But now I’m here to keep you company,
how about a question for me?
Of course! Well, one possibly lonely man is Mauro Morandi.
He’s lived alone on Budelli Island in Italy
for many years, but how many years exactly?
Is it: a) 6 years, b) 31 years, or
c) 44 years?
Umm 44 years would be tough, as would 31, so I’ll go for 6 years.
OK, Rob, we’ll find out later if that’s right.
Now, I’m sure we all want to be alone from time to time, to escape
the demands of our colleagues or the pressures of real life,
but would we really want to be totally alone?
Well, I certainly wouldn’t.
And research has found that prolonged social isolation is bad for us,
particularly mentally.
It’s an interesting topic, and one that the BBC Radio 4 programme
Thinking Aloud has been exploring.
Its guest, Fay Bound Alberti, Reader in History at the University
of York, explained how loneliness is a relatively
new emotional state.
A state is a condition at a particular time.
Let’s hear what she had to say about references
to loneliness in literature.
Well novels are fascinating, because there’s a difference
between novels in the 18th Century, when they first came into being,
and novels in the 19th Century - in the 18th Century something
like Robinson Crusoe, there’s not a single reference to loneliness.
By the 19th Century novels are full of lonely people and that reflects
those kinds of social changes.
Give me some examples. What may count as examples?
Well, I suppose I’m thinking about if you compare something like
Wuthering Heights where you have this desperate desire on the part
of the heroine to find love which is bundled up to in this sense of the
self not being complete without another, or Tess of the d’Ubervilles.
And so Victorian fiction in particular tends to be full of woman
who are in search of the significant other
and needing to find happiness and an absence of loneliness
in the domestic.
It’s interesting that Fay mentions the story of Robinson Crusoe –
about a man living on a desert island –
does not mention the word loneliness.
But because of a shift in how people behaved and thought in the
19th century – called social change – loneliness became
an emotion that was written about in stories.
Ah, but loneliness tended to be something affecting women.
They were searching for happiness by finding a ‘significant other’ –
a partner, usually a man, who they wanted to marry.
How things have changed!
Yes, now Fay also went on to talk about how some
female authors, like Virginia Woolf, looked for solitude – that’s
being alone – because that helped them be creative.
Even today, being alone gives us headspace and time to think,
as long as it doesn’t last forever. Anyway, as we mentioned,
we’ve probably all been lonely at some point, and Fay
Bound Alberti told the Thinking Aloud programme that
loneliness can take many forms.
Absolutely, I think that loneliness is something that affects
all people but at different times in their lives. I would describe in
terms of pinch points – there are times when we change [when
we become] when we get married, we become mothers, we get
divorced, anything that changes our life might put us under
temporary loneliness. When it’s a problem is
when it becomes chronic.
It seems that there are certain times in our lives when we might
feel lonely – when we break up with a partner or have a baby and
feel isolated, for example. These are moments that Fay
describes as pinch points – times in your life where there are
difficulties and things slow down or change.
We could say loneliness at these times is understandable,
normal and temporary. When it becomes a bigger issue,
it’s what Fay describes as chronic – so, long lasting.
And loneliness isn’t always obvious to other people, so it’s good
to check in with friends and family to see how they’re feeling
and to ask if they’re OK. Of course, it would be difficult to check
in on Mauro Morandi, who’s been living on Budelli Island in Italy
for many years, but how many years exactly?
Ahh well I thought 6 years. Was I right?
I’m afraid not. It’s actually been 31 years. He told National
Geographic magazine “I’m sort of in prison here… but it’s a prison
that I chose for myself.” So I’m guessing he’s got used to his
own company! I certainly couldn’t live alone for that long –
I’d been too lonely, I need company Rob.
Yeah, me too Neil! And loneliness is what we’ve been discussing
in this programme. Here’s a recap of some of the vocabulary
we’ve mentioned. Firstly, to keep someone company is to spend
time with someone so they don’t get lonely.
Social change is a shift in how people behave and think.
A significant other is an informal way of describing a partner.
Solitude describes being alone.
When talking about life, pinch points are times where there are
difficulties and things slow down or change. And chronic
describes a health condition that is long lasting.
And that’s all we have time for in this programme,
but remember you can find more useful vocabulary,
trending topics and help with your language learning here at
BBC Learning English. We also have an app that you can
download for free from the app stores and of course we are
all over social media. Bye for now!
Bye bye!