So now that you've tried some of these wines,
how would you describe me?
Heavy on the Afrocentric.
Oh, it's a Africa-- Africa--
It's an African wine. JOY: South African wine?
- It's a South African wine. - OK.
Well, that's actually one of my favorite.
Very limited. There's only 12 bottles of them.
Oh, 12? JAY: 12.
Should be only one.
One?
Wrong answer, Jay.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
JOY: I decided to do a show like "Ready to Love,"
because I'm a divorcee.
And so I felt like at this point in time,
I am ready to open myself to loving
someone again and being loved.
So "Ready to Love" came at a perfect time,
because it was you know, three years
after I had been divorced.
And I felt like I was definitely ready.
After doing the show, I definitely
learned that I was capable of being vulnerable again.
I'm a very guarded person--
naturally guarded person, reserved in nature.
And so after doing the show, you know, I was like, OK,
I'm ready to be vulnerable again.
Because going through a divorce-- you know,
that can be very traumatizing.
You don't want to open yourself up to anyone again.
And so I was like you know, I'm--
I'm fully capable of doing that again.
And you know, not shutting myself out
of possible opportunities for the right person.
So Jay and I do not talk anymore,
but I still respect him as a person.
But unfortunately, we did not work out after the show.
You know, grief is a very difficult thing to deal with.
And so having come off of a reality show,
and then, while filming the show losing my sister--
that was a very difficult period for me.
And it really shows you who's going to be there for you,
who's not I went through the same thing with my divorce,
because you're dealing with you know,
different phases of your life.
And so it really showed me who--
who's there for me.
And I have a very supportive network of friends and family.
But I definitely had to let some people go as well, because I
think because of the timing of me being
on a reality show and my sister passing,
people tried to merge the two.
So I would get text messages from people
I hadn't even talked to saying, oh, hey,
I saw you on "Ready to Love."
And by the way, I'm sorry to hear about your sister.
Those two don't go together.
And so you having to navigate being on the show
and losing my sister was very difficult. And so the ones--
the people that are by my side today--
those are the ones that have been consistent.
You know, because when you're going through grief as well,
people think OK, they see you out.
They see doing things.
But you have to continue to cope.
It's not something that goes away.
Every day is a struggle for me.
And-- but I know that I have to keep going.
So you just learn how to manage all the different emotions
that come with it.
But no, I wouldn't say that I'm OK.
And my friends who who know me and who
have been through this process with me as well
as with my divorce, they know that I'm still
going through this transition.
And so I really appreciate those close to me.
I still talk to a few cast numbers.
I talk to a lot of the guys every once in a while.
They will check on me.
But more consistently, I talk to Nyya,
and I talked to Wynter as well.
But yeah, everybody is kind of all over the place right now.
But those would probably be the two
that I consistently speak to.
I recently connected with Edwin.
He came and cooked dinner for my family.
So I talk to most of the kids at some point or another.
What am I looking for in a partner
now after going through "Ready to Love?"
You know, a lot of it is still the same.
You know, I want them one that respects me,
like gives me the utmost respect.
Because you know, I think people's--
people's lines are blurred when it comes to respect.
And so-- but that has a lot of different meanings for me.
But someone that respects me, someone that makes me laugh,
someone I can have a foundation for friendship with.
One of the things that I also realize about being
on a reality show is I don't want
someone that feels like they need to compete with me,
you know?
I want someone that we have a partnership--
I support whatever you're doing and vise versa.
So I don't want that competitive nature.
And I've had that in past relationships.
But it definitely was something that I thought
about after being on the show because we have
how different men have approached me
and oh, well, you're on a reality show.
And you know, you're Hollywood.
No.
I'm still Joy, still have the same needs.
You know, I want someone that will pray with me,
go to church me, all that stuff.
So-- and someone that wants children.
That's big for me.
And the list goes on, but they'll have time for that.
You know, I think that our cast was so close knit because we
were essentially on--
you know, at summer camp for adults.
And so they were just a lot of intimate moments.
Our conversations at the fire pit--
and we had a whole concert where people were singing.
We got a lot of singers in the group.
And then also too, I think that the journey showed like I was
pretty much focused on Jay and Edwin,
but there were other conversations
that I had with some cast members
as well that weren't showed, because we
were all exploring our options.
We had plenty of nights where we were just sitting by the pool,
laughing until you know, we were in tears.
And you didn't see that.
You didn't see those moments.
I am still single--
still single, and single until I have a ring on this finger.
So you know, it's kind of hard dating in a pandemic,
cause people be out here in these streets, and I'm like,
do you have COVID?
So it's really difficult. So I--
you know, it's a bit difficult right now.
So right now, I'm single and open to dating.
But it's difficult right now.
I would say prior to the pandemic,
I really didn't have a specific place where I met people.
I meet people at the most random places--
grocery stores, you know, I used to go to the bookstore.
You know, cause if you in a bookstore,
you might be a little sophisticated.
So I like meeting people at--
at random places.
You know, my idea of meeting someone is not a club.
I don't do clubs.
So you know, wine bars, restaurants, things like that,
less traditional places.
So-- but yeah, I don't--
I don't even know.
I'm still trying to figure out where to meet people.
So if you all know out there where I can meet somebody, then
let me know, because I don't.
I have a lot of people in my DMs, and that's weird.
I guess it's kind of like online dating.
But you know, it's a little hard.
And I don't-- I stopped doing the dating apps,
because that-- that was just-- that was not what-- yeah.
You know, for me, we have to have
a foundation for friendship.
You have to love God.
And you have to make me laugh.
You know, it's nothing like having--
you-- you have physical chemistry with someone,
but they-- the conversation is just not there.
And we're just sitting there, and it's awkward.
Like, I want to be able to talk about everything with my mate
from just my deepest fears to what
I'm doing in my businesses.
Like, I want that, and again, someone
that wants to have children and someone that's cultured.
You know, for someone that has not
been out of the United States, that's a problem for me,
especially at this age.
We're not 18.
So I want someone who has--
has been-- been around the world and loves to travel,
loves to try new things.
And is open.
And you know, is a respectful person.
You know, family oriented-- that's important as well.
How can I tell if a person is really ready to love?
I think the biggest thing for me is consistency.
Like, I can tell when someone is really into me.
I don't have to figure out, oh, he didn't call three
day-- in three days in a row.
You know, when you really are into someone, you show it,
whether that's by communication, by doing
little things for them, the level of attentiveness.
You know, and I--
I think that that consistency is a big thing.
Like, it's not playing games and you didn't call me,
you didn't ask me, all of that.
It's really showing that you're into that person.
And actions speak louder than words.
I shouldn't have to guess whether or not you--
you like me and whether you're ready to do this thing.
So I think also it's in the questions that people ask.
You know, questions are-- if the questions are just surface
level, and you're asking about physical and all of that,
you're not ready.
You know, if you're asking more value-based questions,
then you're ready.
You know, you're ready to take things to the next step.
So I think those--
those are some of the biggest things.
What advice would I give the future singles
going on "Ready to Love?"
Oh, I would say be open.
Make yourself vulnerable or allow-- not
make yourself vulnerable, but allow yourself
to be vulnerable, because that's the only way
you're going to determine if this person is
or is not for you.
And you know, trust the process.
I know it's difficult in terms of managing 10 people.
Well, you're really managing all 19 other people,
because it's not just the men.
You have to worry about the women
and how they're reacting to you and whoever you like.
So I just say be yourself.
You know, be authentic.
You know, because I think the common misconception
is that when you go on a reality show you have to act.
And I didn't act.
Like, people were always shocked with you know,
how I was on the show versus how I am in real life.
And I'm like, that's me.
I'm not going on here to act and put on airs
or what have you, because I don't have time for this.
It's exhausting.
So be authentic, be yourself, be vulnerable.
And again, trust the process.
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