We all have to find really good ways to
take care of ourselves and especially in
our mental health. Teaming up today with
a friend for mental health self-care
strategies. Scott Wilhite again at Live
on Purpose TV. He is the author of the
Seven Core Skills of Everyday Happiness.
We've got another video where we talked
about all 7. Yeah, check it out. And
you want to check that out. We're
focusing on one of those today. Which has
to do with mental health, self-care
strategies. Now Scott, you're not a
licensed Mental health professional. No,
just mental. But I am. So, we can talk
about this, right? These are skills. Daily
practices that can be developed. In fact,
in the other video when we talked about
the seven core skills. Just remember
folks that happiness is a choice, okay? We
have to say that and put it out there
and that's going to annoy and irritate
some folks. And then we will qualify it
by saying, "It is also a skill set a set."
A skills that you can practice and
develop. And Scott, you've come up with
some ways to first assist yourself
to do this. But what I love about you
Scott, there's a lot of things obviously.
But the one of the things I love about
your work and what you're doing, is that
you've taken these things that you've
experienced yourself. You have captured
it in a way that you can create value
for other people. And so, you're here
today to share some of the strategies
that you've learned for mental health
self-care. I'm excited to hear what you
have to share. Thanks.
Well, first of all, let me just tell you
if you are in a place right now where it
feels dark, where if you're discouraged,
where you're distraught, where you're
having more trouble than you really feel,
you need to have first of all, I want to
say, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you feel
that way. I'm sorry that you're there." And
I also want to tell you that I was
there, too. I want to tell you a story and
maybe that'll kind of help you reframe
where you're at right now and where you
can take some self-care strategies. Yeah.
Again you don't want to, if you're
talking to a doctor already or if
you need to talk to a doctor, absolutely
go talk to one. Get the medication you
need. We're not saying stay
away from any of that. But there are some
self-care things you could do that are
rather amazing. Now, let me tell you a
story that happened years ago and it's a
time when I just about died. I was in the
ocean. In fact, I remember like I gave
up. I was couldn't believe how fast I
could give up hope. And I knew I was
going to die and my sister-in-law was going to
die and my daughter was going to die. And I
was just I felt wow so horrible as to
what the fourth of July would forever
mean to my family. You know we were there
on this family vacation would come up to
Oregon Lincoln City. And went to the
beach with my,
you know, it was my family and my
brother-in-law's family. And the kids
wanted to play in the water.
And they'd run out and kind of chase the
waves and I didn't want to do that
because it was cold even at the fourth
of July. But I remember kind of paying
attention to the kids and and every once
in a while I'd look up and then I'd do
some other things. And then I looked up
and 2 of the kids were getting sucked
out. And they had been caught in a rip
current.
Okay, I didn't know anything about that
but... And I threw all of my scout
training away. And I just threw all my
stuff down and ran and jumped in the
water and swam out to grab whoever I
could first. And I grabbed my cousin and
was able to push her in. And it took
everything I could because that current
was so strong, it was throwing us out.
And we were getting turned around in the
waves and we were drinking water. And it
was horrible. But I finally got her
pushed in enough that she could
walk and she could crawl up to the rest,
you know, the rest of the beach. Well, I
turn around to get my daughter and
there's my sister-in-law. And she's
really struggling and she's between my
daughter and me. And so, I thought, "Okay,
well I'm going to go help her and then I
could get to my daughter." And I got to do
this fast because I don't know how long
she can take it. That
just about did me. And I get to my
sister-in-law and that we are just
getting turned around. And we get hit by
a wave and it spins us around, we can't
tell which ways up. And then finally we
can and then we get hit by the next wave.
And it's like that just pounding over
and over again. And I'm just thrown and I
don't know what to do and I'm taking in
so much water and that's when I realized
I don't have anymore hope. We are going
to die. And I was sure of it. And it was
just this horrible feeling about what
that's going to do to me and my family. And
then the most amazing thing happened. I
looked up and I saw my daughter standing
dance south of us down the beach. Not on
the beach but out in the water. She'd
found this sandbar and she's motioning
to us to come to her. And so, I grabbed my
sister-in-law who I'd been trying to
push in. And I pushed her South down the
shore. And not toward the beach. Not
towards the beach but down. And it
didn't take us too long and suddenly we
had a sandbar and we were able to crawl
up and we were able to get out. Well, what
I didn't know is what rip currents do.
Rip currents they come in and they shoot
straight out and they can they can go
faster than an Olympic swimmer. And they
are powerful. I found out how powerful
they are. Yeah. And what happens is people
do exactly what I did and they fight
against it. And they go the same way over
and over and over again. And it just, it
takes all of their strength and they
drown. And the way you get out of it is
to swim south. To swim,
what do you call it? Perpendicular, whatever.
Well, what my daughter had done is she
had gotten turned around and so, she did
something crazy and she relaxed. And she
went to the backstroke. Because it was
like the only thing that she knows. It's she
had left. Yeah. How do you do the
backstroke in the middle of these
churning waves? I mean, it was just this
crazy thing. But she did it. She went
south and suddenly she was out of the
pull of this. Well, the reason I bring
that up is that what this can do for you.
Because you're in the churn right now.
And the more you come in straight into
shore, the more you fight this, the more
you put all of your energy into fighting,
the less energy you're going to
having the more it's going to zap you.
But there are things you can do that
will bring peace they will help you
bring focus, that will help you be
deliberate and intentional. And that's
what I'm excited to share today.
Yeah. And it's a practice. A daily
intentional practice. Yeah. That helps you
to get your footing again. So and you've
developed some tools for that. Tell us what
he had to show us here today. Okay. Well,
what I have to show... This is a prototype.
So, if you go to my website, it probably
won't look like... I'm sure it won't look
like this. Yeah. In development. It's in
development. But I've been working on it.
I've we got a bunch of people that are
trying it, too. And you also don't even
need this. I'll tell you some of the
stuff that's in there. And you can start
putting these things into practice. Yeah,
these are the strategies or the skills
that you're applying. You've got a tool
to apply that. But they don't necessarily
need the tool in order to practice the skills? Yeah,
just grab a notebook or
whatever you want. But there are certain
things that you can do. So, I'll just kind
of open up to a daily thing. Uh-huh. Like,
a morning routine. Kind of like a planner.
It is a planner. It's a day of planner.
You know how when you take your kids to
Little League and the coaches say, "Be
there an hour early." You know, I mean
they've been practicing all week. But
there's, there is value in coming early
and showing up and getting game ready.
Well, how often do we get game ready for
our own lives, you know? But if I can get
game ready each morning. For your day, for
your day. Uh-huh. Anyway, it just makes a
huge difference. So yeah. Kind of the
first thing is that you set your
intention for the day. You figure out
what it, how is it that I want to feel
today? What's the happy
result that happens at the end? And you
said that at the beginning and that
helps you focus on what your true goal
is. You know a lot of people say, "I want
to earn a million dollars." But what's the
real reason they want to earn a million
dollars? So, they can feel better about
themselves, so they can feel satisfied,
safe. You know, whatever the feeling is,
they're going for the feeling. Go for the
feeling first. Set that is your intention.
And then you can work the rest of the day. So you
could actually have an intention of
feeling, joyful or grateful or happy? Yeah.
I mean that stuff.
So, anyway. So, that's the first one. I have
another section over here. It's your
power. This is power prayer. I had no idea
you could get daily answers to prayer.
That's actually a new addition. I've only
been doing that for the last like 3
months. Holy cow, it's life-changing.
I mean, I was a prayerful person
before and I was super grateful that I
would get an answer to a year. I mean, it
was pretty cool. I know I was in the
right direction if I got an answer or two a
year. And now, I'm getting them like all
the time. But there's a simple process
for doing that. And it is to write down
what is the single most important
question I most need answered by my
higher power today? And then you have his
answer and then what you're going to do
from it. And actually in another video,
I'm sure we could share with you how you
do that. And really you're paying more
attention. You're tuning in to being
intentional about it. And you're being specific. Nice. There's a section
down here. List 3 things going right
in your life right now. Helps you focus,
this is a lot of positive
psychology. Yeah. It helps you focus on
what's going right. When you start to
focus on what's going right, holy cow! You
know you start to recognize that there
is a lot more going right in your life
and you really pay attention to. We
normally focus on the negative. But when
we (Yeah) see those little nuggets. Its natural.
Psychologically, its natural for our mind
to attune to pain. You're going to pay
attention to that. It's going to get your
attention. Yeah. And so, you're saying
steer this intentionally in a less
painful direction. And identify what's
working well. The other thing that this
triggered for me, Scott is that that
creates a win streak. Yeah. Because you've
got your wins for today and then
tomorrow. Mm-hmm. You got your wins for
tomorrow and then the next day.
So, you get on this win streak. That's
kind of a fun feeling. Yeah. That's great.
Nice. You get momentum. Now, one of
my favorite parts is right down here.
There's just and this again, just grab a
notebook. Do this every day and it'll
really change it. But I have written my
top 3 life priorities. And then next
to it, I have what will I do today to
prove that they are priorities.
Now... Oh, that's a good question. Isn't that
fun? Yeah. Now, if anybody asked me what my
top priority was, I would always say my
family. But I'm an entrepreneur, I'm a
filmmaker, I'm a busy guy. And so, I'd get
up like in the fours in the morning and
I'd work and work and work. And I got to
make this business successful and I'd
worked through lunch and worked through
the afternoon. And then my wife would
call me for dinner. And I'd bring the
phone out I'd have it sitting on the
table in front of me. And have anybody
texts or calls. I'm off taking care of
business.
Yeah. For my family, right? You know, I mean, for them.
Always say that, yeah. Yeah, but my family knew they weren't my top
priority. Inside I knew they weren't my
top priority. I would say it and but I
didn't practice it, I didn't truly
believe it. There was an approve? Yeah and
so when I started doing this. This is the
thing that probably has changed me the
most is when I would write down what my
top priorities are. And then I would say,
"What I'm going to do today to prove that
they're top priorities?" Suddenly, I have
this harmony because I am making
progress. And Harvard did a study. And you
can you can google this ,too. It's called
The Progress Principle. But they did a
15-year study and they found that the
happiest most successful people were
people who made daily progress in
meaningful work. Well, what's meaning meaningful?
It just has to be meaningful to you.
And so, as you focus on what is really
most important to you, and so, what I
would do is I would write down the, you
know, the my top 3 life priorities.
What I'm going to do to prove that their
priorities. And then I would add them
into my calendar or into my to-do list.
And suddenly, my day is built around what
really matters to me rather than the
things that somebody else says, "I need to
do." Or that, you know, just kind of come up
or the fires that you're putting out and...
So, just simple things like that that can
help you be very intentional, (Yes)
very deliberate, very purposeful. You find
out you start working from your core why.
What you're really, really about what
really motivates you. And when you feel
you're making progress, suddenly, you're
not tossed around in the sea anymore.
You're no longer fighting, trying to go
straight in. You're
calm and peaceful and you just get your
life back. Does that make sense? You're
Living on Purpose. Yeah. If you liked this
video, I think you'll probably also like
Scott's books and other resources. You
can connect to that in the description
below. We also did another video together
about how to be happier and less
stressed. Make sure you catch that
episode as well.