so this is a four-bit apartment it's a
one bed oh that still smell even better
it is just yourself renting yeah just me
by myself yeah okay well as I said the
place comes unfurnished so you're gonna
have to supply your own bed I probably
won't bother short beds only take up
floor space anyway okay and it's all
couch in the alleyway earlier that says
no you remember there's no parties yeah
don't worry you have a trick for parties
if I have them on just invite The
Neighbors in the area then they can't
complain and no yeah and my cousin's a
plaster I saw any hole there are no
parties allowed don't worry like I'm
just here to work hard keep my head down
achieve the American dream oh where'd
you say you're working
just like around so what's the crack
with this swimming pool I saw earlier
okay the the swimming pool is a
neighbor's so that's private property
even after midnight the whole time so
that's a waste I'm sorry who are all
these people oh that's just the lads
like they promise to help me move like
in the field hands okay they're all
helping you to move yeah well I play a
county like so okay well the rent is
1400 a month oh so that's like 70 each
excuse me yeah we'll take it a wheel
yeah it's a beautiful apartment don't
worry I won't take really good care of
it because you get it back as you
imagine like okay then Mr Michael D
Higgins yeah why don't you come to my
place and we can sign the lease go let's
go all right well don't worry it's not
very far I just live upstairs
welcome to the US Embassy Patrick cheers
fair play thanks for having me there
have been some discrepancies with your
Forum so we've had to ask you in just to
clear up some of those answers oh cool
for your mother's name you just put down
ma'am yeah that's me ma'am but what's
her name ma'am her given name at Birth
was man oh right that I think it could
be like Sheila Aruna I've only ever
called her man emergency contact number
999 no I mean in case of emergency
what's in the United States 9-1-1 at
noon next of kin contact uh parent or
Guardian oh don't be calling me parents
in an emergency should I go mad if you
have any relatives in the United States
I don't know them but there's a bunch of
losers and ancestry.com to keep emailing
me saying I'm their third cousin your
contact in America is listed as John the
fridge colon yeah Legend okay why the
fridge is he working Refrigeration oh no
he's just got a big chest and Tiny legs
the date you'll be entering the United
States is Paddy's Day the 17th of March
when will you be leaving the United
States ah sure you know yourself like I
do not know oh like no plans you know
what I mean we will need a date okay
Christmas then
then you'll be overstaying your Visa oh
so when should I leave then you have to
leave by April 7th okay stick me down
for that then and do me best will you be
seeking employment whilst in the United
States not officially
what do you mean not officially like no
just answer yes or no to the following
question so
do you seek to engage in Terrorist
activity sabotage or genocide no way
Jose do you intend to commit Espionage
on behalf of a foreign power not a
chance just answer yes or no no have you
ever violated any law relating to
possessing using or Distributing illegal
drugs pass you cannot pass right stick
down no then have you ever been arrested
or convicted for a crime that resulted
in serious damage to property or serious
harm to another person or government
Authority
no
why'd you say it like that oh it's like
no well that's all the questions I have
thank you for coming into the embassy
Patrick at your Visa has been denied
sure just go to Canada so
cheers
what's the crack the what fair play to
you you're a lush
I'm a what a right you need a ride no
you're right
you want to rent a car or something
I'm Irish oh cool yeah
do you know the Irish band a script yeah
kinda I'm in that oh wow oh my God yeah
I'm the drum around the script oh my
gosh
I also play a full forward for the male
miners who
do you want to shift me what
do you want to shift me
what's that
score nice
kiss oh I'm sorry I've got a boyfriend
like going to Vauxhall
[Applause]
may offer some
doomed up it says in your CV that you're
a qualified accountant Carpenter fitness
instructor and Economist bang on
graduated top of your class in
theoretical physics and unprofessional
Microsoft Word 95 seven languages yeah
English Irish kind of Irish monster
Irish Gaelic and American so you have
bar experience I'm Irish okay how about
cocktails how would you make a Long
Island Iced Tea
Ice uh and then I usually prefer to use
berries berries well with lines in the
pyramid bag you don't get the same
flavor okay if someone comes into the
bar they look a little young what would
you do check their ID very good if
they're over 18 drink as much as you
like the drinking age is 21.
even if they're with their parents what
are your strengths never been batting
FIFA weaknesses chickadees okay well
let's just have a little check on your
references yeah cool okay go ahead there
no butter hello
ah uh hello hello
hi hi is this coins accountancy firm
no no I I'm calling from O'Reilly's
Irish bar hold on
I'm calling about a former employee of
yours at Podrick O'Hare apology
accounting diligent punctual
[Music]
ity
okay well we would like to offer you the
job uh do you have any questions for me
yeah is there a staff discount a 20
Windows
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