Tarik Cohen's comin' to New York to eat
at a Jewish deli with Simms and Lefkoe?
Oy vey!
♪♪
When I heard there was a guy in the NFL, Simms
named Tarik Cohen, I said, "Mwah.
L'chaim. We've got ourselves
finally, a Jewish running back," and then I found out
not only have you never been to a bar mitzvah
not only have you never had Jewish food, you're not Jewish.
- Sadly, no. - Sadly, no.
I appreciate the "sadly." - Yeah.
- "Cohen" though.
I mean, that's in the Mount Rushmore of Jewish names.
- It really is. - I am 100 percent Jewish.
- Yeah. - What I want to give to you
is the full Jewish experience. I can call it a Jewish combine
to making you feel like a true Jewish man.
Are you ready to take this journey with me?
- Oh, yeah, I'm definitely ready. - OK.
- L'chaim.
- L'chaim! - L'chaim.
♪♪
[Bell dinging]
- This is our first dish.
This is a customary Jewish breakfast.
Do you want to take a guess as to what
is in front of you right now?
- Sushi. - Sushi.
It is not sushi. It is smoked salmon.
What do you think of it?
- Cream cheese and fish? - Exactly.
- Man. - Yes, "man" is right.
- All right, so don't be afraid of it.
- No, I'm not. - So why don't you pick it up?
- Oh, that was a——oh, my gosh.
- Hold on.
- I don't like it.
- You don't? Do you mind if I have a bite?
- Damn. - You can have all the bites.
- Ugh. - I mean, it's perfect.
This is a Jewish deli staple, and it's not just what it is—
- [Laughing] His eyes. - It's the size of it, OK?
- Yeah. - This is a pastrami on rye.
And do you see how much meat is on that?
- Yeah. - That's not just special.
- It's a little excessive. - Can't miss it.
- He looked at that like it was
a blitzing linebacker when it came in.
He, like, literally looked at it and was like—
- Why don't you bite into that? - All right.
Let's see, which one—hmm.
- And this is part of the process, too
the strategy of how to bite the sandwich.
- I can see that.
- I'm gonna go ahead and try to flatten him.
- Nice. I think he's gonna like this.
- You think he'll like it?
- I feel pretty confident about it.
- I really give him credit for havin' the guts
to just dive in there, though.
- Why is there no cheese or nothin' on it though?
Cheese, mayonnaise or somethin'?
- Well, that wouldn't be kosher. We have one more.
This is the Cadillac of Jewish food.
Tarik Cohen, I'd like to introduce you
to your new favorite food, matzo ball soup.
- Matzo ball. - Matzo ball.
Have you heard of matzo balls before?
- Mozzarella? - Mozzarella
not the same thing. This is not cheese.
- There's no cheese in there? - There's no cheese.
You thought matzo balls had cheese, too?
- I totally did. - So the best way to do this
is to take your spoon
take a little piece of the matzo ball
get a little bit of soup in there.
- Oh, it's soft. - It's very soft.
♪♪
And there it is.
- That's good. - That's the 10 out of 10.
- It's like chicken noodle soup, really.
- It's chicken noodle soup.
♪♪
The second part of our Jewish combine is Jewish slang.
- OK. - Not only do I want you to eat
like a Jew, I want you to talk like a Jew.
So here's the first word. - This is gonna be fun.
- It is. - Schmooth.
- Schmooze.
What do you think schmooze means?
- Good sleep. - Good sleep?
Oh, like a—
- Man, I'mma go schmooze. - I'mma go schmooze.
- I'm about to schmooze. - So, a schmooze is actually
to, like, kinda talk somebody up.
- "Hey, I like your play calls, Matt Nagy." - Yeah.
- "That's a really creative one." - "Throw me the ball."
- You're schmoozing him so he gives you the ball. - You're schmoozing, yeah.
- You schmooze, you win. - Right.
- Next word. Ooh!
Good luck sayin' this one.
- Chootz-pah. - Hootz-pah.
- Ah, chutzpah.
- You gotta get a "heh." - Chutzpah!
- Oh! - "We were in the team meeting
and Tarik Cohen stood up and said
'I don't like that play.'
Tarik's got a lot of chutzpah."
- Like, balls. - Yeah.
- Exactly. This is the Jewish slang phrase of all generations.
- Oy vey. - Oy vey.
What do you think it is?
- "Tarik Cohen was supposed to run the slant route
and he ran the go route.
Oy vey, Tarik Cohen."
- Or it's like, "All those pickles for me?
Oy vey." - Oh, yeah, I got you.
So it's good and bad.
- It can be everything. - OK, good.
That's the one I'mma use right there.
- You have aced the Jewish combine.
And I have a gift for you.
- Oy vey. - Oy vey.
I give you a Chicago Bears yarmulke.
- It's a Jewish fitted cap. - A Jewish fitted cap, yes.
Oh, my gosh, it looks so beautiful.
- Perfect. - Simms, you're not out of here.
- Oooh. - A Giants yarmulke.
- I like it. - Put that bad boy on.
- Yeah! - And I have an Eagles yarmulke. Now we celebrate.
Let's give it up for him.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
- Hey! - L'chaim!