Why in the immortal words of SirMixaLot does baby got back? Well cause baby got a lot of
estrogen and I can't lie.
The simplest answer to why women tend to have bigger, bootylisciousier butts than men is
that estrogen directs fat deposits into our buns and thighs. Also our boobs but that's
another video for another time. Meanwhile in men testosterone tends to discourage fat
storage in the buttocks which I prefer to pronounce buttocks cause it's just more fun
that way. Due to this physiological phenomenon, our larger lady butts are a female secondary
sex trait. Go butts. Alright. Why would the female body do that in the first place? What
possible purpose could our larger lady butts serve aside from improved booty-shaking and
better looking jeans from behind? Evolutionary biologists think they are posterior signals
of our health and fertility. In other words to get guys like SirMixaLot hooked so they
can't stop staring. Oh baby they want to get with you and then take your picture and then
propagate the species. Far more intriguing are theories about how our lady butts came
to be. According to one 1985 theory which isn't so supported these days but is nevertheless
kind of hilarious our butts grew large enough to discourage copulation from behind while
our breasts grew larger to encourage face-forward copulation. In other words our boobs developed
as sort of front-butts to get guys away from our butt-butt and so we could look each other
in the eyes while we have tender, passionate love-making in the savannahs. Ahhhhh okay.
More recent and more widely supported theory maintains that we evolved our larger lady
butts and breasts as a way to store fat and energy during periods of lactation and/or
food shortage way, way back in time in the dry climate of the African Rift Valley where
it's thought that the earliest humans evolved. Which would also jive with that theory that
our butts signal health and fertility. We got a lot of energy stored in this butt for
feeding our babies, all of which brings a whole new meaning to Nicki Minaj's Anaconda
video. The only thing left for me to do is work on my 'Baby Got Back' remix called 'Evolution
likes big butts and it cannot lie'. It's going to be a hit.