LET'S GET RIGHT INTO IT.
THERE'S BEEN A MAJOR DEVELOPMENT IN THE IMPEACHMENT INQUIRY
AGAINST PRESIDENT TRUMP.
LAST NIGHT, TWO UKRAINIAN ASSOCIATES OF RUDY GIULIANI--
YOU KNOW, THE PRESIDENT'S PERSONAL LAWYER-- WELL, THEY
WERE ARRESTED.
THE TWO HAD BEEN SUBPOENAED TO TESTIFY IN FRONT OF CONGRESS
BUT THEY WERE APPREHENDED AT THE AIRPORT WHILE TRYING TO FLEE THE
COUNTRY.
THE MEN HAVE BEEN ADVISED TO GET THEMSELVES A GOOD LAWYER.
WHICH IMMEDIATELY RULES OUT RUDY GIULIANI.
(LAUGHTER) F
>> James: THE UKRAINIAN GIULIANI
ASSOCIATES WERE HIRED TO DIG UP DIRT ON JOE BIDEN.
BY THE WAY, "UKRAINIAN GIULIANI ASSOCIATE" IS MY NEW VOCAL
WARM-UP.
"UKRAINIAN GIULIANI ASSOCIATE."
I WAS DOING IT RIGHT BEHIND THE COUCH.
"UKRAINIAN GIULIANI ASSOCIATE."
BEING PLAYED BY BENEDICT CUMBERBATCCH.
IT SEEMS LIKE A BAD DEVELOPMENT FOR THE PRESIDENT, BUT TRUMP
ACTUALLY CLAIMS THIS IS GOOD NEWS.
HE WAS LIKE, "SEE!
I TOLD YOU I NEVER PRESSURED UKRAINE TO INVESTIGATE JOE
BIDEN!
I PRESSURED RUDY GIULIANI TO PRESSURE THESE GUYS TO PRESSURE
UKRAINE TO INVESTIGATE JOE BIDEN."
I'M FINE.
MEANWHILE, THE PRESIDENT IS SO WORRIED ABOUT A POSSIBLE
IMPEACHMENT TRIAL IN THE REPUBLICAN CONTROLLED SENATE,
THAT TRUMP IS APPARENTLY CALLING MAJORITY LEADER MITCH McCONNELL
THREE TIMES A DAY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS, I FEEL BAD FOR MITCH McCONNELL.
THREE PHONE CALLS A DAY?
IT'S ENOUGH TO MAKE MITCH McCONNELL WITHDRAW INTO HIS
TURTLE SHELL AND HIDE.
BUT I THINK THIS IS STARTING TO GET TO TRUMP.
BECAUSE IN A SERIES OF TWEETS THIS MORNING, THE PRESIDENT
LASHED OUT AT, OF ALL THINGS, FOX NEWS.
BUT FOX NEWS IS ALSO MUCH DIFFERENT THAN IT USED
TO BE IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS."
IT IS SO DIFFERENT THAN IT USED TO BE.
OH WELL, I'M PRESIDENT!" COINCIDENTALLY, "OH WELL
I'M PRESIDENT!" WAS ACTUALLY THE ORIGINAL DRAFT OF TRUMP'S
INAUGURATION SPEECH.
MOVING ON, THE POPULAR RIDE SHARE APP UBER IS LAUNCHING
A NEW SERVICE THAT WILL LET USERS FIND RIDES THAT ALLOW
ANIMALS.
THEY'RE CALLING IT "UBER PET."
SO AT LEAST WHEN YOU GET INTO ONE OF THESE UBERS, THERE'S A
REASON IT'S COVERED IN HAIR AND SMELLS DISGUSTING.
IT COSTS THREE TO FIVE EXTRA DOLLARS TO RIDE WITH YOUR PET,
OR 10 TO 12 EXTRA DOLLARS IF YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE WEIRD SNAKE
GUYS.
"CAN YOU TAKE A RIGHT?" THANK YOU.
IMAGINE BEING ABLE TO RIDE IN AN UBER WITH YOUR PET.
JUST THINK HOW ADORABLE IT WILL BE WATCHING YOUR DOG ALSO
STRUGGLE TO PUT ON HEADPHONES TO AVOID SMALL TALK WITH THEDRIVER.
AND FINALLY, WE WANTED TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS, A FAMILY
VACATIONING IN SOUTH CAROLINA FOUND AN INTERESTING PACKAGE
FLOATING IN THE WATER JUST OFF THE BEACH.
THEY TK IT BACK TO THEIR RENTAL HOME, THEY OPENED IT UP
AND THEY FOUND 44 POUNDS OF COCAINE.
I MEAN, I'VE HEARD OF SEA-WEED BUT "OCEAN COKE" IS A NEW ONE.
44 POUNDS OF COCAINE.
BUT THE DAD DID THE RIGHT THING.
HE IMMEDIATELY WENT TO THE POLICE AND HANDED OVER 43 POUNDS
OF COCAINE.
THE FAMILY SAID THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THE
GIANT COCAINE STASH, BUT THEY DID NOTICE THIS GUY HANGING
AROUND THE BEACH.