It was that dream again.
...apart from the peeing.
How he felt towards her remained a mystery...
Odgrub killed Lydia, breaking her heart and stealing her soul.
And now she was gone, he missed her.
Odgrub was well and truly outmatched.
But that means nothing when up against 3 invincible wizards.
This fight is destined to go on forever.
He said his final farewell to this place,
to the Greybeards...
...and to HIS BROTHERRRRR.
He did something good. He had a new reason to live.
He's Skyrim's silent guardian. A watchful protector. A dark knight;
An Ebony Warrior.
IT WAS ALL A DREAM.
Apart from the peeing. He'd pissed himself.
But something else had changed, too. Lydia. She was alive!
He thought he had lost her. He thought he had done terrible things to her that he could never undo-
but it looked like he had been given another chance!
Another chance to have a companion who cared for him. It was all too good to be true.
This couldn’t have been the real Lydia! But any doubt was removed when she opened her mouth and,
for the first time in seemingly forever, Odgrub was reminded of her soft, sweet voice.
‘MORNING ODGRUB!!! Looks like you were having a nightmare!’ Retorted Lydia, clenchingly.
‘What did you dream about???’ Odgrub paused. A terrible guilt washed over him.
For even if it was just a dream, it was still too terrible to share,
lest it reveal to the world some dark recess of his mind that he would rather keep hidden.
Besides, that wasn’t him any more. So he just stood there.
It saddened Lydia that Odgrub hid his thoughts and feelings behind a perpetual grimmace-
and she longed for the day that he’d let her in. But it looked like today was not that day.
‘Well, if you ever need to talk, I’ll always be here for you. Now, let’s get you changed out of that wet armour…’
BUT THERE WAS NO TIME TO WASTE!
And without a word, Odgrub sped off into the night, with Lydia in close tow.
For Odgrub did not wish to squander his second chance;
he may not have expected this sequel, but he knew exactly what he had to do with it.
And that was to defeat the Ebony Warrior, before he could take everything from him again!
Whatever his motives were, he was the one thing stood between Odgrub, and his happy ever after.
They ran and ran. And ran and ran! As fast as their little legs could carry them.
Until their hearts cracked, and their backs broke. And Lydia LOVED it.
She didn’t care that she was carrying dozens of weapons for him. Or that witch’s head. Or those 420 potions.
...or those incredibly heavy dragon bones that Odgrub had seemingly forgotten about.
She had second wind- as had Odgrub, who right now was behaving like a young man of 69 again!
Something about that nightmare had given him renewed energy and resolve.
He knew what he wanted and he knew how to get it.
And she found this very attractive!
But alas, they couldn’t find the Ebony Warrior, and eventually had to stop for refilling at the local tavern.
They went in, and Odgrub bought them both a refreshing local ale from a rather attractive barmaid.
Well, wasn't this nice!
They both had so much to say, yet neither wanted to spoil the moment... so instead they both just sat there in awkward silence.
Lydia stared at him, hoping he could open up to her about his thoughts and feelings.
And maybe Odgrub would have done- had it not been for that nagging voice in the back of his mind.
'Do you have news of our quarry?'
One that was warning him that all this wouldn’t last, and that his time was running out.
'Do you have news of our quarry?'
He should have been the happiest man in the world; a second chance!
They were together again. Yet half of him was Elswyr. As long
For as his brother was out there, he could never rest. Their encounter was just a matter of time!
But where? And when? It loomed there in his mind.
Like an irritating voice that wouldn’t shut up, second-guessing every way in which everything could go wrong.
If only he could be rid of that. Just for a second, then he could be happy!
Then, he could stop looking to the future and just be content in the present. In the here and now.
For ever and ever, amen
Odgrub awoke in the middle of nowhere, butt-naked and with a hangover from Hell.
Never again! He said, as he picked himself up, looking around for his Lydia.
But all he found was this lousy diary which clearly belonged to whoever’s camp this was
Not that Odgrub could read but he still flicked through and left a negative review,
before heading off down the mountain towards the nearest town.
As the sun rose the following day, it dawned on him that he was wasting his second chance.
What had happened of all that talk of becoming a better person?
Of doing away with bad habits and becoming a force for good?
Here he was, naked, hungover, alone, and with a kill count of over 100.
Old habits die hard, it seems.
He had to accept that there was no easy way out of this- he had to stop blaming others.
For Odgrub’s problems were his own. Before anything else, he needed to confront his darker side,
and to get his self-destructive tendencies under control.
But he didn’t know if he had the strength to do it alone.
Odgrub reached the city, and much to his surprise, everybody was still alive there.
Maybe it was all just a dream!
He had heard that if you piss yourself in a dream then you wake up, so he did just that.
*Sprinkle sprinkle squirt squirt dribble dribble*
*Sprinkle sprinkle squirt squirt dribble dribble* 'Fresh meats and produce! Get them before they're gone.'
Oh well.
He needed clothes. He needed weapons: he needed MONEY. But he was a new man now!
He was going to do all this without killing a Soule.
So he did the honourable thing and decided to steal it instead.
He ventured deep underground, through a maze of catacombs, and happened upon a strange underground tavern.
But how could he go about stealing from them without being seen? Hmm.
'What are you doing that for??'
*Munch*
'Ehh?'
'YOU COULD HAVE ASKED' 'I saw that!!! 'STOLEN!!' 'It's yours now' 'You could have asked'
After way too long he discovered these people didn’t mind him stealing from under their noses any way,
so Odgrub didn’t even need to be a competent thief to rob these suckers blind.
'You could have just asked!!'
Soon he had cleared the place out, filling his pants to the brim.
I’m not even going to tell you what he did with the carrots.
Back on the street, he plunged his hands deep into his pants and took a good look at his junk.
There was a lot down there.
HE was proud of his stash, but sadly, nobody else wanted it!
Poor Odgrub. His jewels would be left untouched.
He thought of selling the hundreds of potions he had been stockpiling since the beginning but ultimately, he decided against it.
...because you never know
But what to do with all this junk? If only there was a place to sell stolen goods in Skyrim.
'Where did you put it, woman???'
He didn’t know what to do next.
In frustration, he strew his stolen junk all over the place, and stood there in complete rejection.
At that exact moment, a shrill scream filled the air. It was Lydia’s angelic voice!
‘THERE YOU ARE! I’ve been looking all over for you, Odgrub!’
Lydia rushed on over, looking even more over-encumbered than normal.
‘I believe you’ll be wanting some of your burdens back!’ she quipped, before laughing gayly.
‘HEhEHHEHOEHOHOEHOo’
She handed Odgrub his equipment and he got dressed.
As he was fitting his groinal armour, he noticed Lydia hastily burdening herself
with all the junk he had strewn about the place.
But he stopped her- for he already had everything he needed.
'You lead, I'll follow.'
Odgrub was finally ready to face his fear.
And sure enough, there it was, stood right in front of him.
But he didn’t have to do this alone.
He turned to Lydia. The one person who had always shared in his burdens!
Who he had treated so terribly, for so long.
Yet there she still was, still ready to fight with him to the very end.
And Odgrub whispered:
‘For Frodo.’
A full-frontal assault was quickly ruled out ‘cos the Ebony Warrior proved hard as balls,
surprising them by blowing them both all over the place!
Odgrub returned the favour, switching the engagement to long-range attacks instead.
But even this proved dangerous.
For the Ebony Warrior was unfairly accurate, inhumanly strong… and insanely fast.
They fought along the lake, taking in turns to keep the Warrior busy while the other pumped ebony arrows into him.
The orc camp was full of fearsome warriors. But this clan proved no match for the Ebony Warrior, either.
With Lydia recovering somewhere behind, Odgrub had to stand his ground against the dark knight.
'You've already lost!'
'This ends NOW'
Even the animals of Farthing Wood couldn’t contend with the will of the Ebony Warrior.
Odgrub summoned a dragon to aid in the fight, and Galmar Stonefist lent his ax,
and the 4 of them pushed the Ebony Warrior to the edge of the cliff.
GALMAR STONEFIST was awesome... ...until he was blasted off the side.
And then the Dragon was all like ‘screw this’ and flew off as well,
leaving just Odgrub and Lydia to finish the Ebony Warrior off.
But every time they got close, he quickly healed back up again!
Odgrub tried luring him up to the top of the tower.
…but the Warrior wasn’t falling for it this time!
And that’s when Odgrub suddenly remembered those potions he had been lugging about for months.
The ones to stop the Ebony Warrior from healing!
Odgrub was hesitant to use these. For what if he needed them even more later on?!
…But with great willpower...
...he used one of them and he poisoned the Ebony Warrior with it.
The Ebony Warrior was defeated,
and Lydia landed the final blow.
He fell, but not before uttering some dreadful words:
‘ODGRUB, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM YET? I AM….
YOU.
Suddenly, Odgrub’s strength failed him, and exhausted, he collapsed neatly to the ground.
Lydia tried to comfort him, but she was over-encumbered so she instead just had to stand there.
Weakly, Odgrub called out Lydia’s name.
She looked down at him, tears in her eyes.
Her lips trembled, yet they remained silent.
Odgrub apologised to her. He apologised for treating her badly. For lumping her with excessive burdens.
For using her as a meat shield against Karstaag.
And for leaving it this late to tell her all of this-
‘SHHHHHHH’ she reassured, quietly.
She told him that none of that mattered now.
And that she forgave him.
Odgrub was perplexed. He asked how she could forgive him, when he had ever done was to treat her so terribly.
‘Because-‘ she said,
‘I was sworn to carry your burdens’.
She deserved to know the truth, and he finally admitted that he dreamed he had murdered her.
Lydia told him not to worry- for it had been just a dream.
‘But…’ he whispered, his vision fading until it was darker than night itself
‘I’m not sure if it was …’
Silence.
Perhaps this admission was too much even for Lydia to forgive.
Maybe she had left him there to die, alone.
That was what he deserved.
Lydia…
ODGRUB AWOKE! It had all been a dream.
This entire video had been a dream!
Apart from the pissing. He… had pissed himself.
But Odgrub was still alive!
But… not Lydia. And at that moment,
Odgrub felt more alone than he had ever done before.