Hey everybody welcome back to Skillopedia the place to learn skills for the real world
and you are with me Meera. Talking about real world, it's absolutely fine that we all make
mistakes, isn't that real? Of course it is. Yes, we make mistakes. Humans tend to make
them all the time but we all do one thing common as well, we do not accept and own our
mistakes. You can ask, give us a good reason why we should accept our mistakes? I mean
it's just hurting people and ourselves after that. Okay, so let me tell you, firstly when
you don't accept your mistakes, you feel terribly guilty from inside, isn’t that true? And
secondly when you accept a mistake, there are a lot of personal advantages to it, do
you know what and you wanna know why… let's see, it builds loyalty first of all and trust.
Your relationships get a chance to get better. It increases leadership capabilities and most
importantly, it reduces stress, tension and anxiety, there you go aren’t these good
enough reasons why you should accept your mistakes? Alright guys, today I am going to
tell you five ways how you can admit your mistakes correctly in your professional and
personal life, so let's go…
Let’s say it's a usual day and you are out for your college or your work, alright, you were told to get some veggies
on your way back for dinner and you also had an option but if you weren't able to get those
veggies, you can give a call to your mom, your wife, your sister and tell them, so that
they get it for all of you, but you came home tired and empty-handed and when asked, “hey,
did you get those veggies?” You were completely lost and confused. You knew you forgot something,
but instead of admitting your mistake, you start yelling at them and you start saying
things like, “I was busy” and “I was working all day”, “you should have got
it”, “don't expect so much out of me”… don't you think this has happened some time
with you? You made it even worse by reacting in a negative way. Guys this is a very, everyday
kind of a mistake, harmless but a mistake, so let's see what you should have done, alright
start by owning it, saying things like, “oh man, I totally forgot” or “oh, I thought
I was forgetting something…”, “I'm so sorry let me order something for all of us
for dinner.” Admitting and owning your mistake gets you one step closer to fixing the problem.
People will understand that you didn't do this intentionally. Plus, you're also trying
to solve it, right? This helps them believe in you and help you and find a solution. Instead
of me yelling your way out, just say, “I am sorry” with a smile, if that’s possible.
Now just yesterday my friend told me that his girlfriend always pulls his leg and she's
taunting him in front of others, things like, “oh, he doesn't know what I'm saying”,
“he's never paying attention”, “he doesn't remember our anniversary or any special dates
for that matter”… and things like that you know, so obviously he was pretty upset
after hearing that over and over again. When he shared this with her, she scolded him off
and just hung up on him and things went worse. Now such things happen with us, they happen
on a daily basis. She hurt his feelings by taunting and yelling at him and sometimes
we just don't mean to do that, we don't mean to hurt people, we think we're just being
funny, cracking jokes, someone's laughing but someone is getting hurt by that. So guys
what do you think should have been done? Well, when someone shares that they are hurt by
your comments, by the things that you have done… here’s the tip, the tip for you
guys is that, see the problem from their perspective, be in their shoes and see how the issue looks
from there. How would you feel if someone does that to you? What would you like others
to do for you? And then respond to the situation. Say, “I'm sorry I hurt you, but I was really
not aiming for that.” That means that was not your intention. “I don't know that I
hurt you unintentionally, I will really pay attention to it the next time.” This really
resolves the issue even for the future. The person who is hurt, also feels like you know
you respected them, you kept the respect, you listened to them, this way you will gain
the respect again and they will take care that they never behave like this with you or with anyone.
Moving to our next daily example and the next tip, sometimes small mistakes
lead to a big problem in relationships, with friends, with family, spouses, girlfriends,
boyfriends… isn't it? Small mistakes don't hurt initially, but over a period of time
it can just break your trust and just ruin relationships. For instance you wouldn't call
your girlfriend, when you said you would call, the next day you got irritated on her, yelled
at her, later that week you didn't tell her that you had an office party and you didn't
meet her because of that, then you got mad at her for being upset with you and then you
are not able to fix your relationship after a point… here's your tip for such small
little problems, sit together and address the issue instead of just like running away
and ignoring it. Take responsibility and accept the consequences of your mistake. It's okay
if you just yell at each other but stay there, tell the truth and don't blame it on someone
else or some other situation, don't hide your mistake and most importantly, don't pretend
as if nothing happened, if required explain the situation and why you did, and what you
did. Give enough time to sort it out and just keep at it until both of you on the same page
and this was with anyone and every relationship.
Alright now coming to something more tricky,
some mistakes that we make are intentional mistakes. Yes! They might be harmful for us
and for others as well. Now for example, you have an interview coming up but you still
kept on doing online shopping, roaming around, coffee shops, you lost the job because of
a bad interview. This mistake was intentional, wasn't it? You were fully aware that you were
not focusing and this affected your interview and this affected you alone. In another case
you told your dad that you are still at your friend's place and studying for your project
or for your exam, you are actually partying outside… later your dad somehow saw your
Insta story and caught your lie, this too is an intentional mistake, lying is always
intentional, how to solve this out? So here's the tip guys, be sincere and accept your mistake
and just that it was intentional. Communicating that your mistake to those who are affected
by it, to those who can help you, that's important job and during such times, listen… don't
be egoistic and sit arguing around. What's done is already done. Gather courage and show
that you wanted to fix this. You are taking responsibility about your lie, this way you’ll
gain trust. Take it as a learning case and just avoid doing it in the future.
Well one another risky situation is when you make mistakes at your workplace, as an intern or a new fresh
professional or even as an experienced professional, you know you have made a mistake here, but
you are more pressurized and stressed to talk to someone about it because in your head you're
thinking, “oh, I will lose the project”, “oh, my reputation is at stake”, “oh,
my job is at stake”… so what's the best way to deal with professional mistakes? Guys
experts say that you must convey your mistakes to your professionals, superiors as quickly
as possible and I totally agree, the superiors will come to know about it eventually anyways,
so don't waste time, instead you address it first, because the chances of resolving the
issue are higher when you are quick, open and honest about the mistake. First understand
the situation for yourself, so you are clear when you tell your superiors what happened.
Be direct and completely transparent about it. Apologize, but don't throw others under
the carpet, that means don't blame it on others, ask your superiors for help. Now take a deep
breath and start working towards solving the issue, this way others see that they can trust
you. This builds collaboration and others value you. This method is tried and proven
and I think it's right as well, most of the cases this will work out. People will appreciate
a person who takes responsibility and works towards a solution. Alright guys, so these
were the tips on how to admit your mistakes in the most correct way in five different
situations, that's all for the day guys, I hope this helps you in the future. I will
be back soon in another video until then keep smiling guys, this is me Meera saying goodbye