- Heya player, are you at that point
where you're not sure if you should keep pursuing your crush
or just give up on them.
Don't worry, in this video I'm gonna explain exactly
when you should stop pursuing them
and how to go about doing it.
For those of you that are new here, my name is Josh,
and every single Monday through Friday,
I make videos sharing tips, ideas, and stories,
teaching you how to be your best self.
So if you want to learn and grow,
hit the subscribe button and make sure to click
on the notification bell.
Now there will be some of you that are like,
"Josh, you are completely wrong.
I like them, I want to keep pursuing them,
and nothing is gonna hold me back."
But first let me walk you through,
why I think it might make sense for you to give up,
and then you can make your decision.
Now the whole point of pursuing someone
is to take the romantic feelings that you have
and see if you can turn it into something,
whether it's casual sex or dating, or just flat out being
in a relationship.
And as with any pursuit,
you need understand what the challenges are
before you jump into them.
Just jumping into something blindly
without really understanding what's
in front of you is gonna make it a lot harder
than it has to be.
For example, if you're pursuing a girl that's
in a relationship, that doesn't go to your school,
or doesn't even live in your state or country,
those are barriers that you're gonna run into
that are gonna make it extremely difficult
to continue your pursuit.
Not impossible, but difficult.
And those are challenges that don't even involve you
interacting with them.
Those are challenges that just exist on their own.
When we look at challenges based on interaction,
that's a whole different ballgame.
That can include anything from that person turning you down,
that person not responding to your messages,
that person always being with their friends,
so on and so forth.
And I think one of the most important to remember here
is that your ego shouldn't drive your decision.
Just because you want to be with this person
doesn't mean that it's gonna be easy,
doesn't mean that they owe you anything,
and doesn't mean that it's actually gonna work out.
But let's take a look at the nitty gritty.
Let's say for example, you talk to your crush regularly,
but now they just don't respond to your messages as much.
They've kind of lost interest in the conversation.
Should you keep pursuing them?
I would say yes.
Just because a person isn't as responsive anymore
doesn't meant that they don't like you,
it might mean that they're busy or they're caught up
in something else or the conversations just haven't been fun
and in those cases you just need to spice them
up a little bit.
Okay, but what if that person
just doesn't acknowledge me anymore?
Whenever they see me they just kind of walk past me
and don't even look at me.
Should I keep pursuing them then?
I would say, yes.
A person might start to detach from you,
if you don't kind of take things
to the next level with them.
If you keep things at a very very basic conversation,
one that's gonna be boring,
and two they're not really gonna feel like
that conversation is going anywhere.
So you always wanna be elevating it,
going from talking to talking in person,
to hanging out in person, and see where it can go
from there.
All right, fine, but what if my crush's friends
don't like me?
What if they tell me that I'm weird or creepy,
and that I'm no good for that person,
I should just leave them alone.
Should I keep pursuing them then?
Honestly, yes.
The friends might have some type
of personal bias against you and what you need to do
in that situation, is you need to win them over.
Get them to see you for the real you
and to stop disliking you on some random thing,
but really to get to know you on your own personality.
All right, so I guess you'd tell me to keep pursuing
my crush even if they tell me they don't like me.
And that's where I draw the line.
If your crush expresses any kind of outright disinterest,
they tell you they don't like you,
they tell you they don't want to talk to you,
they tell you to leave them alone,
in any way, respect that.
Don't keep pushing past that, don't keep pursuing them then,
understand what your crush has actively told you
and respect it.
For a lot of people who have crushes, they tend to ignore
that little piece.
They'll put their feelings up here
and the other person's feeling down here.
So in those cases, they always think their feelings
are more important and therefore they keep pursuing them,
despite what their crush has told them.
Remember, if you want a relationship to work,
both people have to be on board, both people have
to be enjoying the process and if one person is,
but one person isn't, then it's not worth pursuing.
And with a lot of the other obstacles,
they are things that can be managed.
It might mean better communication, reaching out to someone
and taking it to the next level,
or just showcasing your personality
and letting people get to know you for you.
But if your crush insinuates or even tells you flat out
that they don't like you, they only see you as a brother,
or as a friend, or they just don't want to date right now,
respect that.
It's important to understand where the other person
is coming from, or else, you're just being a jerk
and are imposing your will on them,
and that's not going to make a relationship work.
Well what do you think though?
Where do you stand with your crush?
And after hearing that advice,
are you gonna keep pursing them?
Leave your comments down below
and we'll talk about it.
The learning doesn't end there though,
if you wanna build up your skills for talking
to your crush, check out the playlist I've put together
with all my videos on how to do that better.
You can tap it on the screen right now,
and also check on my book, "Embracing the Awkward."
I go more in depth on having deeper conversations
with someone, taking things to the next stage,
and feeling confident in your own ability to do it.
So tap, it'll be on the screen, right now.
And on that note guys, I'll catch you next week.
As always, love and peace.