(feel-good music)
- Hey!
No.
I feel naked in front of the...
Look at A-cam!
Look at all the nonsense you can see!
What is this?
- [Ken] Thank God
you decided to wear pants today of all days.
- Yeah, that's a good call, I'm glad.
This is the walking pad.
- [Matt] Have you ever played DDR before?
- Oh no, not-
- [Ken] It's not like that.
- Oh, good.
I really don't understand what you got here.
- [Matt] I don't understand how you don't.
- Is it literally just a pad, like a stationary treadmill?
- [Ken] There you go!
- [Jared] To be clear,
it is a foldable stationary treadmill.
- [Ken] You like foldables.
- I do, but not...
(everyone laughing)
- [Ken] It looks like, it looks like- (Ken laughing)
- It's a Moto Razr.
- It looks like a Razr from the bottom!
It's a phone! (laughing amusingly)
(feel-good music continues)
- Wow, look, it has less crease than the regular-
- It actually is the Motorola, holy (beep).
You also have some lube.
- Mmm, where do you put that?
- I assume on the parts with friction.
- That sounds fun.
- Oh! Okay.
(feel-good music continues)
How do I change the speed?
Oh, it's okay, it says one mile an hour, 1.25.
I'm gonna do two miles an hour.
A brisk pace.
I mean, it's treadmill.
- Oh, the remote's cool,
it'll tell you how many steps, time, or calories burnt.
- I feel like I'm doing motion capture
for walking animations in a video game.
How fast do you think we can go?
- [Ken] Six.
- No, this is it. (laughing gently)
- Really? - Yup.
- [Jared] That's it?
- ["Mystery Tech" Crew Member] It is a walking pad.
- It didn't say the running pad!
- [Matt] It's meant to be used at like a standing desk.
- I mean, I feel like I could be gaming right now.
I think it'd be a really fun time.
How much is the walking pad?
- [Jared] $450.
- Whoa! That's almost as much as actual treadmill.
- [Matt] At least with an actual treadmill,
you get something to hold your laundry on.
("Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees playing)
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I got it, I got it.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
Oh, it knows-
- Oh, it can notice when you get off?
Ken, do you wanna try to be synchronized with me?
Just "Titanic" it, it's fine.
♪ We're marchin' ♪
(humming happily)
♪ We're marchin' down the road again ♪
"The Pointer Instrument.
A precise universal tool designed to last."
This is just a mouse, right?
- [Matt] No, it's a pointer instrument.
Just a mouse, you can get anywhere for $4.99.
- [Ken] Or in the subway.
- Very nice packaging.
Oh my... Oh, good lord.
That's fancy.
To be fair, that's plastic or it's cardboard or whatever.
But, look at this.
(explosion blasting)
That's heavy.
This is the mouse?
- [Ken] Oh, let's go!
- This is the mouse?
- [Matt] No, that's the pointer instrument.
- Look at the detail on this mouse.
So, it's actual like stitched leather.
And then, if you flip it over, it's all brass.
And I'll tell you, it is incredibly heavy.
Whoa, this is cool!
I mean, probably outrageously expensive and not worth it,
but this is cool.
So, this is not one of the mice that gives you,
you know, a bunch of extra buttons and whatnot.
Not even having like a forward and back button,
to me, a little bit of a miss.
But again, this is not really meant to be
like a productivity mouse.
This is meant to be a mouse
that will make you look cool on Instagram.
(rhythmic music)
It's actually not that ergonomic. (laughing amusingly)
We'll immediately say
that the sensor feels pretty responsive.
Supposedly, it works on glass.
Oh, so here's something else.
So, they actually recommend you hold it differently.
They don't want you to hold it like this,
they want you to hold it like here.
- So, like this?
- Yes.
- Here's my issue with that.
You're kind of arcing your hand in a weird way,
where you're kind of just asking
for some arthritis and carpal tunnel.
- It does come off. - Are you serious?
- So yeah, you know,
you wanna be able to get at it for some reason.
- I guess you could also clean the leather too
without having to wet your mouse.
- Did you just say wet your mouth?
How much is the Lunar Artefacts Pointer Instrument?
I'm gonna say, and I'm not gonna condone this price,
but I'm gonna say $149.
- [Ken] Wow, you started with a one?
- [Matt] Rookie mistake.
- [Jared] This was $242 even.
- Ah, ah!
No, no!
This is not a $240 mouse.
I mean, they clearly spend $100 of that on Instagram ads
to get you to buy it.
It's not a terrible first effort, and I appreciate the idea.
It's a new company
and they're trying to do something different, right?
This is a different mouse.
It's not bad, it is not terrible.
I cannot tell you to spend $242 on this.
What is Amagami Ham Ham?
- [Jared] Actually,
I don't really know much about the history of this one.
Griffin just sent it in the chat with no other context.
- Oh my God, that's-
- [Jared] Not released yet.
And it is directly from Japan.
- Why is there a finger in the dog's mouth?
- [Jared] So, the whole point-
- No!
No, no, no, no!
Don't tell me some weird Japanese (beep)
about putting fingers in dogs, okay?
- [Matt] Why do you think I name my dog Nibbler?
- Oh, Matt, that's...
(rhythmic music continues)
"Nibbling mouth," "Insert your finger,"
and, "Oh, it feels good."
(Matt laughing amusingly)
Ah.
Y'all need to chill.
That is one fat doggo.
Aw.
- [Matt] At least, it's a better spot than the Simba doll.
- Yes.
Look man,
we gotta to just censor a lot of things on "Mystery Tech,"
but Simba was bad.
For the record,
Simba's been hiding down here for about three years.
I'm gonna stuff him and zip him.
- [Matt] And stuff him again.
- Okay.
(laughing) That's it, that's it!
It's actually kinda cute!
We have to ask the nibble master, Mr. Nibblestein.
It's cute, right?
You can try putting it in less
and then he like almost nibbles more.
- Oh my God, that's a bite.
- Ah!
(everyone laughing)
- Oh, he's even got like little teeth.
- He's got little teeth. - I didn't expect that.
What?
- Aw, he's so cute.
(paper crunching)
- [Matt] Paper.
- A Razer mouse and a Razer keyboard.
What is the DeathStalker V2 Pro?
- [Ken] DeathStalker?
That sounds like a Netflix special.
(laughing amusingly)
- [Matt] So, this is their first low profile optical switch.
It's a low profile version of that.
- Before I open this, I have to ask,
low profile?
We sure we wanna go low profile?
Is that the move?
- [Ken] Historically speaking, we haven't liked those.
- Now, the fact that it is wireless and battery powered
is an interesting little wrinkle here,
but then if you're going to add the latency of wireless,
it feels a little strange.
- [Ken] Oh, that's pretty thin though.
- Quite thin.
It's got nice little scroll wheel,
actually, a very tactile kinda scroll wheel.
I'm just gonna take my microphone off right now,
and I'm gonna put it directly on the table
so you can hear what this sounds like
for my first impression.
Shh.
(typing casually)
Mm-hmm.
- Okay, hold on.
- It's not bad.
It's one of the better, in fact,
it might be the best low profile switch I've ever tried.
- As expected of a pre-built,
it's not amazing in terms of dampening.
- [Austin] The actual cut in these key caps, super clean.
Like, the RGB comes through incredibly well.
- Yeah, which in a lot of these keyboards,
they don't normally do.
- Can I ask what the most important question is here,
how much does this cost?
- It can't be more than the Huntsman.
- The Huntsman, I think tops out at $200.
- $249 for this specific model.
- Get the hell outta here.
No, absolutely not, no.
- That's a lot of money, Matt, that's a lot of money.
The Key V2.
Is this a copy-paste little macro pad?
I feel like I've seen this on TikTok.
It literally has like two buttons, it's copy and paste,
right?
Okay, I don't think the laptop slides across a table,
but thanks.
Okay, so we've got a very nice,
very nice little USB-C cable.
- [Ken] Wait, that's probably where the value is.
- [Matt] I will say, that is $19.99 right there.
- You know what?
I should like program this to tweet something offensive.
Every time I'm upset, I just tweet something offensive.
- [Matt] Why, why is that your go-to?
- Well, that's what everyone else does, isn't it? (laughing)
So, I guess I actually have to download some software
and program this thing or something.
- [Ken] Here's the thing, if you hit "C,"
I'm pretty sure it's just gonna be the "C" button.
- What's the point of saving time?
That's not any faster than just me doing it on the keyboard.
- [Matt] That's the the point!
- [Ken] The fact that you're trying to bring logic
into this device at all is baffling.
- [Jared] The point is
you don't need a keyboard to program
if you steal all of your code with this.
- [Ken] It's a meme, it's not supposed to to be...
- Oh, I just got that, I got that.
- [Jared] Oh my God.
- [Ken] It's not a real product.
- I thought this was a real product!
- [Jared] No!
(comedic music)
- "V," "V," "V," "V," "V."
Enter "V," "V," "V."
Enter.
This is the dumbest item.
I thought this was a real thing!
- [Jared] Dude!
- It's not my fault that you throw a box
and it's already been opened!
"Get ready to write your own story."
Cool.
What is all this?
- [Jared] Maybe you should have read it
before you threw it away!
- So, we've got Karst Stone Paper Pocket Journal in A6,
we've got a Stone Paper Notebook, and Woodless Pencils.
What is this?
- [Matt] Wait, recycled stones, isn't that just stone?
(laughing amusingly)
- [Ken] Would you say that this idea is cool
or that it rocks?
- I wish I had more stone puns to tell you.
No.
"What you're holding is paper made from stone.
It saves trees, water, and energy, while being waterproof,
more sustainable, and infinitely smoother
to write, scribble, doodle, and draw on."
I'm just gonna experience this paper for the first time,
okay?
So, we're just gonna flip over to one of these pages.
- [Jared] Does it feel like normal paper?
- No, it feels like rubber almost.
Feel that.
Everyone take a feel of the the stone papers.
- [Matt] Stop tellin' me to feel things.
- This feels like a raincoat.
- You know what this does feel like, is like test paper.
I don't love it, but like... Okay.
Rocks don't tend to smell.
- It smells like a book.
- It's a solid graphite pencil.
So, does that mean that I can write
with any side of the pencil or it needs to be sharpened?
- I think you should sharpen it
'cause I think it has the coating on the edge
so it doesn't mark your hands.
- Ooh.
Oh, that actually, that kind of writes nice.
- [Matt] Does it smear when you rub your hand over it?
- No, no, no, that's the thing.
The coating on the outside-
- [Matt] Not that, I'm talking about on the paper.
- Oh.
(upbeat rhythmic music)
- [Austin] No.
- A little bit, minorly. - Oh, just a tiny bit.
- [Jared] Wait a minute,
I just realized a massive flaw of these pencils.
- Yeah?
- No eraser?
- [Austin] No, you're not supposed to rip 'em out.
- No, it doesn't rip.
- [Austin] It like stretches.
- It's like a dbrand.
- [Austin] Okay, but-
- [Matt] Oh, good Lord.
- [Jared] Oh!
- Wait, did you say you're gonna keep this, Jared?
- Oh, it actually rips though, but after a while.
Look at... That's actually really nice.
- It's so clean, the rip.
- Yeah!
- I am hardly the person you should listen to
when it comes to writing implement advice.
It's weird, it's interesting.
I'm not totally buying that using stone
is gonna be way better than paper,
but it's definitely a unique kinda thing.
It's a beautiful drawing.
Good job, Matt.
- [Jared] Is that a "This is NFT"?
(laughing amusingly)
- [Matt] I call him Rick.
- I think we should be all set.
- [Ken] The book feels weird.
(momentous music)
- This is a momentous occasion, my friends,
because this is take one
of the first episode of "Mystery Tech"
shot at the new studio.
- [Ken] This is the first one?
- [Jared] Very first.
- Wow!
- What do you mean it's the fir...
How did you not know it's the first one?
Have you been for here for any other "Mystery Techs"?
- It all blurs together.
- What a lovely new set.
I'm so excited that we're here.
- Oh, yes.
- That's less than ideal.
- [Ken] RKO.
Whoa, okay, buddy.
- Thank you very much.
- You just woke up all the termites again.
- No, they're sleeping,
just like I'm sleeping on the Subscribe button
and ring-a-linging the ding-a-ling button.
I should fix that right now.
"Time since launch."
Is this a space thing?
- [Jared] This is not a space thing.
- It's not a space thing.
- [Matt] No.
- Hmm.
"Make time your own.
A single use a long scale launch clock
to mark a moment in time.
It will count up to 1,000,000 days."
I will be dead by then, hopefully.
- [Ken] Hopefully?
- 1,000,000 days?
- [Jared] It's 2,739 years.
- [Ken] Damn.
- I don't wanna live to the fourth millennium.
"Caution, after launch, there's no option to reset."
I'm excited by this.
This is is classic prime "Mystery Tech."
- [Ken] We should have opened this up
when we first opened the building.
- That would be great.
So, it's a goofy, ridiculous, silly item
that you should really only buy as a novelty.
But, also-
- [Ken] That looks like a bomb. (Ken laughing)
- [Jared] It's not gonna look any better once it's opened.
- It smells like pork.
- [Jared] Not the future?
- The future!
Everyone should watch more "SpongeBob."
- I (blowing raspberry) don't (blowing raspberry)
understand (blowing raspberry) what (blowing raspberry)
your (blowing raspberry)
accent (blowing raspberry) is. (blowing raspberry)
- Let's just do the episode.
Oh!
- [Ken] What is that?
- That looks interesting. - That's a bomb.
- [Jared] I would not walk into a public building
carrying that. (Jared laughing)
- [Ken] That is actually a bomb, dude.
- This looks like what Doc puts into the DeLorean.
There's a chip of some kind and then you've got the LCDs.
How do you program it?
'Cause you know what it doesn't tell me is how to...
There's like no obvious interface or anything.
- [Jared] Well, why would you-
- [Ken] You just pull the pin and then it's a counter,
not relative to your time.
- [Jared] Yeah, do you not understand the...
- Oh, I thought it was a countdown, not count up.
- [Matt] What are you counting down to?
(everyone laughing)
- I think this is the way we start "Mystery Tech" season two
in the new studio, and everything going forward-
- Oh wait, no!
- [Ken] We've been shooting this
for five years! (Ken laughing amusingly)
- [Matt] My guy, we're on seven at least.
- No, this is a good idea.
How much was this?
- [Ken] Oh yeah, that's a good point.
- [Jared] Well, I was hoping you'd pull the pin
before I mentioned that.
(laughing amusingly)
Before you wanna return it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [Jared] It is $280.
- [Ken] Oh, that's not bad.
- [Matt] That is $300 more
than anyone should have paid for this.
- I mean-
- [Ken] You can't put a price on time.
- You can, it's $280.
(Ken laughing amusingly)
Is everyone ready to pull the pin?
Start off our new era of "Mystery Technology"?
Three, two, one.
(imitating shooting noise)
Oh, it flashed a light at the back!
- [Jared] That scared me. (Jared laughing amusingly)
- We are now like five seconds into the new era
of "Mystery Tech."
Welcome friends,
subscribe and ring-a-ling the ding-a-ling button
because when this baby hits 88 miles an hour,
you're gonna see some serious-
(upbeat rhythmic music ending)