- Whenever we're anxious, our mind goes back
to this very primitive fight, flee, or freeze.
So imagine 500 years ago,
there was some wild animal coming up behind you.
You could fight it, or you could flee,
or you could freeze, that kind of rabbit in the headlight.
And all these years later, something makes us anxious.
We've got a whole workload.
We think, oh no, look at this,
all my emails, all this to-do list.
I can't fight it.
I want to run away from it.
And instead we kind of freeze.
But there's another way.
If you can't fight, and you can't flee,
you could imagine you're having
a difficult conversation with your boss
or husband, or your in-laws, or your kids,
and you can't fight and you can't flee,
there's no point in freezing
but you can flow.
So when you're stressed,
there's at least five things that you can do
that immediately relax you.
Here's the first one.
If you rub your arms like this, it's immensely calming.
It might sound a bit crazy
but if you're having a really bad day at work,
shut yourself in the toilet or in the cupboard
or somewhere, or sit at your desk
and just do this.
Just rub your arms up and down.
Just do that.
Do it at least 20 or 30 times quite hard
because it's very, very relaxing.
It starts to release relaxing brain waves.
Another thing you'll see me do a lot
if you watch my YouTube videos,
I do this a lot because it has the same effect,
rubbing your hands together
is releasing relaxing brain waves.
The second thing you can do is just do that.
Just do it a lot, just do it quite hard.
You can even, when you've done it,
put your hands over your eyes.
Take some deep breaths.
Here's a third one.
Wash your hands first, I'm going to ask you to touch your face.
Doing this and doing this.
You have receptors here
and when you stroke your face
and touch your face and rub your chin,
it's immensely relaxing.
If you have pets, you'll know,
I know with my little kittens,
I often stroke their face, stroke behind their ears,
under their chin, and they love it
because they have the same receptors we have.
So, touch your face.
Here's another one,
these are all easy, you can do them in moments.
Fill up your mouth with saliva
and swirl it around.
I know that sounds disgusting but no-one's going to know at all,
so let's do it now.
I'm going to do it, you won't know.
I'm filling up my mouth with saliva.
It's kind of hard to do it and speak.
So I fill up my mouth with saliva,
I'm going to swirl it all around.
A wet mouth signals to your mind
that you are super relaxed,
that's why kissing is so relaxing.
It's why lawyers in court drink water.
People say, 'I was so nervous, my mouth was dry,
'I felt I'd eaten a spoonful of peanut butter,
'I couldn't even speak.'
When you're nervous, your mouth is dry.
When you're relaxed, your mouth is wet.
And store detectives and immigration officers
look for people licking their lips,
because it's a sign that you are nervous.
So, fill up with your mouth with saliva
and swirl it around,
and it immediately makes you relaxed.
Here's another one.
Push your shoulders down.
When we're tense, we tend to do that.
Push your shoulders down, right down, keep them down.
Doing this, of course, keep your shoulders down.
Don't do that.
Keep your shoulders down.
Always keep your shoulders down.
Shoulders down.
Deep breath.
Fill up your mouth with saliva,
and you relax.
And the final one, I know because I paddleboard a lot,
if I'm about to fall off the paddleboard,
I find myself doing this.
And if you look at children when they're concentrating,
they do that.
Putting your tongue on the roof of your mouth
or just above your teeth, like this,
is really relaxing.
You might think, 'well, I look like an idiot,'
but you can do it in private.
But at home, if you're going through your emails,
doing a difficult task, feeling stressed
because of your kids or your partner,
stick your tongue out like that
or stick it on the roof of your mouth
and now you can't even see I'm doing it like that.
Helps you relax.
So, remember what you've got.
You've got a lot of things to do.
You can pick all of them, or some of them.
Push your arms down, rub your hands together,
stroke your face, stroke your chin,
fill your mouth up with saliva and swirl it around,
push your shoulders down, right down,
and stick your tongue out like that
and all of these things instantly send a message
to your mind and body that you are relaxed.
Your body is run by a network of intelligence
that's influenced by your mind,
and certain things we do, this and this and this,
and the saliva, the shoulders down,
and the tongue out, like that,
put you straight into that network of intelligence
where your body becomes relaxed,
your mind is relaxed.
You're doing things that physically
tell your mind you're super relaxed,
and you can do these in a minute or 30 seconds
and you can change your state.
So, remember those five things,
use them all the time.
Use them when you're in traffic,
stick your tongue onto the roof of your mouth,
push your shoulders down.
If you can take your hands off the wheel, and only if,
do this or this or this,
push your shoulders down,
and you'll find that whatever is going on,
stress, tension, traffic, arguments, pressure,
you'll find you don't need to fight,
you don't need to flee,
you can just flow into the feelings that you get
when you do certain things that force your body to relax,
and these are them.
Thanks for tuning in, see you soon.