trying to trend #hoeforxuxiisoverparty because she was silent for a SeongHwa
is a bit ridiculous and that is coming from someone who was cancelled by the girl!
hi welcome! so today's video is admittedly a little bit
different *cue EVOL* recently there has been this troll account who's just been ruffling
up some feathers by calling out a lot of kpop youtubers and quite frankly I don't
appreciate being number 5 on this list! I'm sure we could all agree that I'm a
lot more toxic than hoe for sushi, but that's not entirely the point of this
video! I promised that when I reached 100k that I would expose my kpop youtuber
beefs, and then I reached 100k and people have been asking me "um sis where's the
video?" and I've struggled a lot with this idea, how do I make this video without
stooping to such a toxic level? of course I want to talk about my beefs, I want to
be able to get closure from the things that have happened but I also don't want
to send anyone hate because that is so counterproductive, that goes against so
many messages that I've tried to put out in my videos, so in a sense I think this
is probably the best way that I think I could do this... potentially! so big fat
disclaimer, do not send anyone mention in this video any hate, I'm sure they're all
great people fundamentally but maybe just with the dynamics of the internet,
people will do and say things that are quite out of character, but also I'd love
to put these 3rd gen kpop youtubers in their place! Jk, hoeforxuxi did
that to me in 2019. I can't believe that I'm about to defend Audrey right now,
because she's 3rd gen stan, I'm kidding! and I mean admittedly I shaded her
recently, but seriously though oh- she- she is someone who I felt hurt by in the
past, when I was going through a really hard time aka the fifth blackpink
scandal of 2019, in response to my video, she made a video where I felt she
personally altered the context to fit her narrative
and ultimately manipulated the situation to the extent where I was "canceled" by
her and I received a lot of hate from her subscribers, she knew what she was
doing, I mean this is the Internet, and I know the consequence is that this video
could potentially have, but also you know, I'm gonna admit to my faults too in
this video, and I hope that kind of balances out the level of ass hattery
that is about to happen. yeah I received a lot of hate from her subscribers,
because this girl holds so much power and I just thought that this was clearly
you know, a manipulation of her audience and a misuse of her power, which is a
theme that is gonna be consistent throughout this video! including, you know,
against me, my own personal doings. I just felt like what she was saying in her
video wasn't true, she wasn't showing evidence and I felt that I could show
the evidence to prove her wrong but in that same breath, I couldn't as well,
because I felt like I was being silenced. I felt like I couldn't say anything
because she just- the hate was just so much at that point and don't get me
wrong, she was not you know, the sole force behind me hate that I was
receiving, I was already receiving a lot of hate at that time however because
she's such a big public figure and such a prominent face in this community, I
just- I just associated her with the hate hardcore. at one point I actually filmed
like five different videos and spent hours and hours you know editing them
to you know then release to you know show people like "no I'm not hurt by this
at all" and every single time I just didn't have the guts to upload it so I'm
gonna show you -I'm actually gonna show you a clip of one of them cuz I actually
still have it up on my channel, it's private, I never like made it public but
you know for old times sake let's just see what six months ago me had to say
about the situation! "Audrey why do you have to bring Kevin into this?" "and I'm
also going to be acknowledging my current online beef with hoe for sushi"
"you guys are mentioning Coachella and concerts as if artists aren't allowed to
showcase their various talents on music shows but that is false, you essentially
talk about how music shows aren't mini concerts anymore and every artist is
expected to never change anything, but
can easily be debunked by actually looking at other artists stages and also
looking at blackpink's debut stages" "yes there are definitely some aspects that
are pre-recorded but you can't take an aspect of my analysis and pretend like
you came up with that on your own when that's what I'm showing in my video" "so
at the end of the day no not every artist is stagnant not every artist is
rigid not every artist does the same thing every single time not even blackpink"
and from that time I just held so much resentment towards her, despite not
knowing her, despite not knowing her personality, I mean that one video is
really all I know about her, so four months after this incident, I uploaded my
video "how toxic fandoms take things too far" and this was a very hard video for
me to upload because I was terrified of the backlash, I broke out into hives
before uploading video, I had nightmares, i couldn't sleep and then I uploaded
the video and I was fully expecting to get cancelled, I was expecting for people
to be like "well what did you expect? this is the Internet" you know I was expecting
that level of backlash but surprisingly for me everyone was so supportive and
everyone -was very everyone was just so nice to me at a time where it felt like
everyone hated me. but then I released that video and I shared my side of the
video which was basically just me reiterating what I said in the video but
I also talked about the hate that I was receiving because of the video because
of the people taking me out of context and making their own videos about it to
make me look bad and then the narrative suddenly changed. the original narrative
was "oh my god I can't believe YG is such a shitty company" and then everyone
started taking me out of context and in the top comments were hate comments and
then I released my video and then suddenly everyone's on board again! it's
like you know, people just blindly follow whatever the f*** you say and that is
actually so scary and that's why I held so much resentment because I'm like "what
are you doing with your platform Audrey?" why is it that when
Audrey said what she said, that everyone just blindly believed her and then when
I finally had guts to counteract that, to contest that, everyone was like "oh you
know what, you're right now! you're the one who's right" like who who is right in
this situation? because if you're that easily swayed, do you even have an
opinion on this? like I'm - funky transition. at the time the only kpop
youtuber friend I had was kpop shake she was the she was the only one who
literally- I'm gonna cry! I love her so much, she stood by me like throughout the
whole thing and I'm not saying that Markly Spears
didn't, I just don't think we were talking at that time. but Markly Spears
has also always been a supporter! I just get so emotional talking about that and
Miny's support because I was out of my mind, I was paranoid, I was convinced of
things that weren't true, I was not sure what reality really was, and that was the
extent of hate that I was getting and I didn't know how to handle that, so my
mental health was just worsening because like I didn't- I was like "well I'm not
gonna obviously get off the internet that's dumb"
I just resented her for being irresponsible with her platform but I
ended up kind of doing the same thing but we'll get into that later. okay so
I'm gonna go ahead and say it, I don't think Audrey is is Seonghwa anti and
like this is so shady, I tried to watch the video, I really did, I couldn't! but
from what I understand, she just went silent during Seonghwa's part in the
unboxing, where where do you get that- where do you equate that to -how do you
holding a grudge for something that she did six months ago, for something you
know, that probably shouldn't define her. I wouldn't want someone to hold that
against me, something I did six months ago, I'm not the same person I
was six months ago, but you know given this troll account who is calling
everyone out and called out my beef with her and called out the fact that she
cancelled me and given you know her unboxing video and given all this hate
that I'm starting to see that she's going through and given everyone
thinking that I should be happy for this hate, because she cancelled me, I should be
happy because she was taken out of context like she took me out of context,...
I just think it's gross. I wish I could be happy, I wish it could you know help
me feel some type of way, some type of you know justice whatever that even
means! but it doesn't it's not fun to be made fun of for your appearance, it's not
fun of to have everyone collectively decide that you're cancelled, it's not
fun to receive so much hate. it's just it's just not fun, and I cannot, you know,
bask (?) in this hate that she's getting and and feel happy about that because she
she's a fellow human, she's a fellow k-pops stan, even though she's a 3rd
gen stan, but we don't have to get into that right now. at the end of the day, you
can't trust out of context clips on Twitter, and you can- you can't trust Kpop
youtubers either, I'm sorry! I don't know how to not.....! look into things
yourselves, watch the video yourselves, I know I'm a hypocrite cuz I didn't watch
the video, but like even if she did stay silent like, what if she's behind the
camera drooling and really I mean everyone loves Seonghwa! but back to my own hypocrisy
because I kind of did the same thing to Redvelvetsus and I needs to preface
this by saying I do not agree with the video that Redvelvetsus made about
velvetmochi, I think her video was toxic and it reminded me of Audrey's video
because it's just a video that is so subjective in nature that people blindly
follow it without looking into its objectivity, but don't get me wrong I
mean I saw the video at first and I believed it too, I was like "yeah velvetmochi's
a b*lly because she b*llied me too" and I haven't said this publicly
because we're friends now, but velvetmochi said something about me, and it was
four months after my scandal and it just kind of was a testament to
how people were still holding on to my out of context video, and I maintained it
was out of context! and it actually inspired me to release my toxic fandom
video because I was just so sick of this narrative being spread about me about
I'm such a black pink anti, but like I said, since uploading the video the
narrative changed. people who hated me before were suddenly in my DMs showing
support, and I appreciate that! do not get me wrong! but I'm just talking about how
the narrative can be so easily manipulated and if you have bad
intentions then f***, like f****. you shouldn't use your audience as a threat to get someone
to act the way you want them to, I do understand what Redvelvetsus was
trying to say, I understand the underlying message of the video because
she was trying to say like "shading me isn't OK" and I don't agree with the way
she went about that at all, but I understand the underlying message that:
this online hate, this cancel culture, the toxicity is a lot in the kpop community!
it is a lot! so in my mind I didn't understand why she would even bring that
up, like "dude just internalize it and hold a
grudge for six months like I did" and I called her manipulative on quite a few
occasions and I just did a lot of really shady things towards her while she was
receiving so much hate and I acknowledged that I can disagree with
her but given the size of my platform, given who I am, not to like to toot my
own horn, I don't have hoeforxuxi power, but you know, if I say something I
know that some of my audience at least, will go with it without looking too much
into it, and without offering a lot of context, just calling someone
manipulative and you know doing that so publicly... what was I expecting to happen?
did I expect anything good to come from this? and I thought I was being a voice
of reason and Audrey probably thought she was being a voice of reason too, and
she wasn't. it's hard to kind of maneuver this video because I don't want anyone
to receive hate because of me, I felt that my friend was
being attacked for something that I said and my friend was getting attacked
because I called Alexandra manipulative but my friend was on the receiving end
of the hate and so I went publicly on her community post and called her
manipulative. so I guess the final point of this video is that you're allowed to
disagree with people and it doesn't have to turn into just a fan war but you also
should try to strive to not be the source of someone's pain or the source
of someone receiving hate so Audrey I unblocked you, unlike Markly Spears
if you want to talk we can talk. Alexandra,
if you'd like to talk we can talk, I don't know that we have much to say to
each other but I'm sorry if you received hate because of me. I
know about I can't end fan wars with this video but hopefully within this
community of ours, this small community of kpop youtubers, like I we don't need
to like each other but maybe let's try not to traumatize people, let's try not
to turn online beef into something that people carry with them for a long time
and this is not just my own story, I know a lot of people can relate to this as
well within the community. I don't really know how to end this video except that I
really don't want you to send these people hate, I'm gonna go cry in a corner
now bye