- When you do find yourself in a full on networking event.
You know, say it's a cocktail party or a happy hour.
One of the most effective tips you can use
is just to shift your mindset.
So instead of the mindset of thinking
what am I gonna say to these people?
Instead go in there and think
how can I make the people around me comfortable?
(upbeat music)
I think the biggest misconception about introverts
is that they're antisocial.
They're not antisocial, they're not misanthropic.
They're differently social.
Introverts in general prefer to invest their energies
into a few close friendships.
Sometimes people ask me, well if you're an introvert
how do you go about making new friends?
And I think the answer really is more or less the same
as it would be for an extrovert
which is we tend to make friends most easily
with people who we feel some kind of connection with.
You know people who feel like a kindred spirit
whether just in terms of what their world view is
or in terms of shared interests and shared passion.
Don't put so much pressure on yourself
to do the ones that you don't like
and instead actively seek out the ones you do.
If you think that you're too introverted
and that's holding you back you'll be so much more powerful
once you really come to terms with who you are.
I see this again and again.
There's a kind of paradox
that the more people have with themselves
the more powerful they are in externally oriented roles
like a job interview or negotiation or something like that.
And if you need to get a sense of that peace
one way to do it is to look for role models
of people who you think have a personality style
similar to yours and who are doing the kinds of things
that you want to do in the world.
I've gone through a real evolution
when it comes to public speaking
because I used to be terrified of public speaking
and I saw it as a terror so profound
that there was no way to overcome it,
but here's the thing, for those of you who feel this way
whether it's about public speaking or any other kind of fear
the way to conquer it is you have to expose yourself
to thing that you fear in very small
manageable bite sized steps.
So you don't begin by giving a Ted Talk.
You have to start really slowly
so you might instead like sign up for Toastmasters.
You know, sign up for your local chapter
where you're gonna be in a setting
of supportive people and it's safe
and it doesn't matter how much you screw up.
And little by little by little
the horror will start to recede
and you'll be able to bring your personality
into the room with you.
Imagine that you're the host
and imagine you go up to somebody.
It is your job to make them feel good
and that's gonna change completely
your demeanor and your body language.
And then if you couple that also
with the idea of every single person has at least one,
usually many more fascinating things about them
and my job is to tap into my natural curiosity
and figure out what that fascinating thing is.
That also is going to serve you really well.
It can be very helpful to prepare a couple of topics
that you might want to talk about or questions to ask,
but really at the end of the day
it's about a shift in mindset.