Today I am covering decision making skills and the decision making tools you need, so
you can start making wise decisions in your personal and professional life.
Welcome back to True Potential TV, I'm Andrea Cairella your Relationship Consultant and
Licensed Professional Counselor. Today I will be covering effective decision making and
a variety of decision making tools you can use when you feel stuck or unsure about what
to do next. Have you ever been at a crossroads in your
life where you feel overwhelmed, uncertain and confused about which direction to go in
or what step you should take next? If you are like many men and women out there
who are struggling with indecision, you may find yourself ruminating back and forth between
various options. You may feel 1) internal or external pressure to make "the right decision"
which causes you to delay the decision, 2) make an impulsive one, 3) or avoid the decision
all together. You may feel stuck in a vicious and unproductive cycle of anxiety and self-doubt.
When we are feeling anxious we become more indecisive and doubt ourselves more, consequentially,
when we second guess ourselves and put off decisions we become more anxious...and so
the cycle goes round and round endlessly. By managing our anxiety, trusting ourselves
and taking action we can start using decision making skills and become an effective decision
maker. 1. Create A Pro And Con List- On decision
making tool is to get a piece of paper draw a vertical line down the middle of the page
and a horizontal line across the middle of the page, thus creating 4 separate boxes.
In the top left hand box you will write Pros and in the top right hand box you will write
Cons. Next you will write a list of the pros and cons for one option and the pros and cons
for the alternative option. For example, if you are considering ending
a relationship, you would write a list of the pros and cons for staying in the relationship
and the pros and cons to ending the relationship. 2. Connect with Your Inner Wisdom- Each of
us has an emotional aspect that chooses pleasure over pain and avoids hassles and discomfort.
We tend to unconsciously prioritize short-term rewards rather than long-term objectives requiring
effort. To get out of this emotional and mental rollercoaster
ride you can shift into a wise state of mind by first connecting with your body, your breath,
stillness and allow yourself to listen and tap into to the wisdom within. Next you can
calmly ask yourself key questions like: What can I do now? What can I learn from this?
What can I gain from delaying this decision? What are the benefits from making this decision
now? 3. Develop Effective Decision Making Skills:
Sometimes we may 1st need to learn mindfulness skills so we can stay in the present moment
or learn how to manage our emotions effectively. Other times we may need to learn how to challenge
negative beliefs, tolerate distress or be effective in our interpersonal relationships
in a conscious manner. 4. Rejecting the Need for Certainty- When
you believe that every decision has a "right answer" then every small decision can lead
to over-analysis and thus paralysis. If you remind yourself that you cannot have certainty
and that you don't need it, you can begin to harness your intuition and develop self-confidence
and inner trust by making choices despite not knowing the precise outcome.
Remember there are many roads leading to Rome and that every problem has a variety of answers.
Sometimes the best choice is choosing the best option available at the time and moving
forward knowing that you can handle and face whatever lies ahead of you.
5. Be Satisfied with your Decision- When making decisions, individuals are either "maximizers"
or "satisficers." "Maximizers" consider every possible option and focus on missed opportunities
we said no to or focusing on one choice we are saying yes to. "Satisficers" lower their
expectations and focus on the option that is good enough. As a result "satisfiers" are
more settled and happier individuals. Now I'd love to hear from you. Which decision
making tools do you use? Which decision making skills are most important to you? Leave a
comment below, because I want to know what you are thinking.
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make sure you are subscribed to my channel, so you don't miss any upcoming True Potential
episodes. You'll also want to head over to TruePotentialCounseling.com
to get additional resources and relationship tips to help you experience more harmony,
connection and love in your relationship.