-Now, more than ever, it's important to remember
there are two sides to every news story.
To make sure you get to see important issues from all sides,
we've invited two of our writers
who have very different points of view,
and we will examine their opinions
in a segment we call "Point/Counterpoint."
♪♪
Ally, Amber, thank you so much for being here today.
Let's get started. First topic.
President Trump has nominated Judge Brett Kavanaugh
to replace retired Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy.
Could his appointment threaten
historic civil-rights precedents?
Ally. -Of course it will.
If he's confirmed, Roe v. Wade
will be the first thing out the window.
Women have a better chance of finding a unicorn
then a Republican who will stand up for their rights.
-Amber. -I love unicorns!
If I ever found one,
I would ride it everywhere I went, even on the subway!
Ooh, and I'd name my unicorn Paul,
'cause you can't be all flashy all the time.
We'd be inseparable.
People would be like, "Amber and Paul came over last night.
They ate all my sugar cubes!"
[ Laughter ]
-Another great point. Next topic.
Despite clear intelligence
that Russia interfered with our election and stole voter data,
Trump met with Vladimir Putin in Helsinki.
What, if anything, was achieved by this meeting? Ally.
-He legitimized a dictator on the world stage,
didn't reproach Russia for hacking our election,
and is helping Putin by weakening NATO.
It's very clear Trump is absolutely Putin's puppet.
-Amber? -I love puppets.
Honestly, I think it's the most overlooked art form.
Your hand becomes a person.
[ High-pitched ] And your voice turns into this!
-I said Trump is Putin's puppet.
What do you think about that specifically?
-[ Normal voice ] Ooh, I wish a person was my puppet.
That would be so much fun.
Hey, Seth, move your lips.
[ High-pitched ] "Hey, my name is Seth Meyers!
And I want all the jelly beans!"
-Seth, what's she saying is completely off-topic.
-Ally, it's called "Point/Counterpoint."
You get to make a point, she gets to make the counterpoint.
-But doesn't her counterpoint have to make sense?
-"No, it doesn't have to make sense at all! Next topic."
[ Cheers and applause ]
-The Trump administration wants to end environmental protections
that would directly threaten
animals on the endangered-species list.
Are we looking at further extinctions? Ally.
-Of course we are!
Though, if we're being honest,
with Trump encouraging climate change,
we're looking at human extinction pretty soon, too.
So, sure, why not? Wipe out innocent animals firsts.
And to think, Trump's probably just doing this
for his gun-horny sons who love paying
to hunt big-game trophies. [ Scoffs ]
-Amber? -I love trophies.
A little golden man is telling you, "You did a good job."
And he's bowling just like me!
And I like that you have to earn them.
You can't just buy them.
Unless you buy them, which I do!
[ Laughter ]
Hey, this is for you, Ally.
It says "Best Point" 'cause you have the best point.
-If you think I got you a trophy for Best Counterpoint,
you are sorely mistaken.
-Good! 'Cause I got myself one!
Way to go, Amber! Thank you.
[ Applause ]
-Next topic.
Despite federal judges ordering the Trump administration
to reunite separated families at the border,
hundreds of children remain in detention centers alone.
How do we fix this disaster? Ally.
-Honestly, I just wish we could all exist
in the alternate reality where Hillary won
and we're not dealing with daily human-rights violations,
that I wouldn't be so upset all the time.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Wow! Cool! A happy Ally?
Huh. I want to live in that alternate reality, too.
-Yeah, but how do we make that happen?
-My magical unicorn, Paul. He'll grant our wish.
-[ Laughs giddily ] Your wish is granted!
[ Snorts ]
[ Harp plays ]
[ Laughter ]
-Next topic.
Which are better -- cookies or brownies? Ally?
-Brownies are better than cookies,
and anyone who disagrees is a monster!
-Cookies are my favorite! -Then you are a monster!
-Ally, I thought when Hillary won,
you'd be less upset about every-- [Laughs]
[ Laughter ]
-Have you met me?
[ Laughter ]
[ Unicorn laughing, sobbing ]
It's so -- It's so funny.
-This has been another great "Point/Counterpoint."