So what happens when you have to negotiate with a narcissist who is way more powerful
than you? There is a way to fight back and actually be the one who's in control,
more powerful, and by the end of this video, you're going to know how to do exactly that.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung, and I have been recognized as one of the top 1% of attorneys in the country,
and I have written a couple of bestselling books, Negotiate Like You Matter and Breaking
Free: A Step-By-Step Divorce Guide, and I've helped millions of people
go from lives of drama, trauma, chaos, stuck, paralysis, powerlessness,
to step into lives of freedom, possibility, purpose, new beginnings, new futures.
The way I do it is I teach you exactly how to do it step-by-step on this channel,
in these videos. So if that sounds good to you, if that's what you want in your life, then go ahead,
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So let's talk about this narcissist. They come across so powerful, so all knowing,
like everything is going their way, and it's so frustrating sometimes and it
makes you sick. You feel nauseous inside, and you really start to feel and believe and
know in your heart like, "Oh my gosh, I can never win. I can never get past this.
They always seem to get away with everything. Why do they always seem to get away with everything?"
Oh my goodness. I have had so many people say to me, "Well, how are they getting away
with this constantly? And it just seems like it never ends. How are you ever going to get
past that?" You're just constantly on the defensive and it's so hard to even imagine
what it would be like to actually go on the offensive. It seems really like you're putting on
somebody else's clothes or coat or something, like this doesn't seem right to go on the offensive.
A lot of times when you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it probably means that you're an
empath or an empathic person, a very caring person, you feel very deeply, and that's what
attracted the narcissist to you in the first place. And you, as the empath were attracted to
the narcissist in the first place because you saw something within them that you could potentially
help them or love them back to health and all of that. That's what we, empaths, want to do. If you
want to know more about the relationship between the narcissist and the empath, check out my video
on exactly that. There is a symbiotic relationship between the narcissist and the empath.
So all of this, it means that when it comes time to actually fighting back against that narcissist
who feels so much more powerful than you, it's really, really hard. And sometimes it can feel
impossible, but it's actually so not impossible. The one thing I really want you to understand
is that a narcissist is just a huge bully, a huge bully who's actually super scared inside.
And the big secret is that you are actually the more powerful one and they don't want you to know
that. So they go to great lengths to try to make you think that you're the one who's less powerful,
that they are the ones who are all knowing and all powerful. In fact, they even use manipulation
tactics and all kinds of verbiage, and they do all sorts of things to make you feel like you are
the weaker one. So they'll even say things like, "No one else thinks the way you do, and everybody
else thinks this and this and this," and so you really start to feel isolated. If you want to
know more about narcissist favorite sayings, check out my video on the narcissist's favorite sayings.
But you're basically put in this position to just feel like they never will lose no matter what. And
so you sometimes feel like giving up, but I'm here to tell you that it's never okay to give up. Don't
give in, don't give up. These people are basically terrorists. If you fight back against them,
you will see that they will eventually come unglued, that they will eventually collapse,
that they will eventually give it. And if you want to know more about what happens when a narcissist
collapses, you should definitely check out my video on what happens when a narcissist collapses.
So how do you fight back against a narcissist when they seem so much more powerful? Well,
the first thing that you're going to do is check in your mindset. What is your mindset? Is your
mindset something that says, "I can be powerful against this narcissist"? Or is it saying,
"I'm never going to win against this narcissist"? So if you want to know more about your mindset,
check out my video on power thinking when it comes to narcissist. Mainly, what you want
to do is just start to believe that you can be powerful against the narcissist, understand that
I've helped millions of people get the results that they want, and I can help you as well, but
you can also help you. Just watch these videos or do the things that I'm telling you to do. You can
do it. So start to believe it because you can go, "Wait a minute. All these other people have done
it in the worst of situations. They've turned it around." You can start to turn that ship
around. 80% of a negotiation is won before you even walk into a room and 50% is your mindset.
So number one is just believing that you can do it. So, number one is your mindset.
Number two is keeping your emotions in check. Just really, really, when you are negotiating with that
person who seems so much more powerful, they are going to try to trigger you. They're going to say
things that they know will upset you. They know how to push your buttons, especially if it's in
a divorce situation or even a business partner situation where you've actually had a chance
to really get to know this person. They know what your weak spots are. They know how to get to you.
So they know that if they say a certain thing, it's going to trigger you. It's going to take
you off of your game, expect that, and don't allow them to penetrate. Don't allow them to
get to you, especially in front of them. I mean, hey, if you need to go cry or scream
in the shower afterwards, scream in your pillow, yell to your therapist, whoever you need to,
fine. But when you are in that situation with that narcissist, you say things like,
"I can see that, that's how you feel." Another word is you leave it all over on their side of
the table. It's not coming over here. And it's almost like there's this glass shield around you,
and it's just like the bullets are just pelting off and heading back over their direction.
All right. So when it happens and you just, "I hear what you're saying. I know that's what you
believe." Something like that. You constantly are saying things that will actually just allow you to
disarm them, and also you to not be affected. I also have a video called Phrases to Disarm
a Narcissist. You can check that out if you'd like as well.
So that's number two. I really, really want you to believe that you are powerful. And if you believe
that you can be powerful, I want you to put in the comments, "I can be powerful." Put that in
there right now. I can be powerful. This is the start, mindset, keeping your emotions in check.
The third thing that you can do is actually really, really do your research. You're going to
research your side, you're going to research the other side. You're going to do as much as you can
to have everything prepared, understand exactly and anticipate what it is that they're
going to say, and then that way you'll have a response for it. The more that you can prepare,
the less concerned you're going to be that they're more powerful. The more that you have
your arguments ready to go, the less powerful they will be, especially if you're anticipating
what the other person is going to say. And the fourth thing that you can do
is use languaging that makes you seem more powerful. In other words, you can say things like,
"I know that we are both on the same page when it comes to this, but here is one issue
that I want to present to you, and I anticipate that this is what your argument is going to be and
here's what my argument is." So you use powerful language and you can also use
powerful body language. So that's going to be number five, use powerful body language.
Power language is putting your arm draped over the chair, use grabbing your chin,
steepling. These are three different ways that you look more powerful. I
have a lot more about that actually in my book, which is Negotiate Like You Matter,
and I also have all of this in my free Crush My Negotiation Prep Worksheet. So if you want to be
fully prepared, go grab that. It's 15 pages. It's basically an ebook. It's so amazing, that is
totally free. So just go to winmynegotiation.com and grab that, so winmynegotiation.com.
And then also join me in my free private Facebook group, which is Narcissist Negotiators with
Rebecca Zung. You can connect with other people there, get support from other people there,
hear about their wins, hear what they did to win. We will make sure we drop a link to that below as
well, so that you can join us there. If you liked this video, give it a like, give it a share,
drop me a comment, let me know that you were here. I'm so glad that you're here. And remember,
today is a great day to start negotiating your best life. I'll see you in the next video.