EXCLUSIVE CONVERSATION WITH TWO-TIME WOMEN’S FIGURE SKATING
CHAMPION GRACIE GOLD.
>> WE ALL REMEMBER HER FROM THE
OLYMPICS.
OLYMPICS. SHE APPEARED TO HAVE EVERYTHING
GOING FOR HER, BUT RIGHT BEFORE
THE 2018 PYEONGCHANG OLYMPICS,
GRACIE ANNOUNCED SHE WAS
STEPPING AWAY FROM SKATING TO
DEAL WITH PERSONAL ISSUES.
RECENTLY SHE REVEALED THAT
INCLUDED BATTLES WITH DEPRESSION
AND AN EATING DISORDER.
WE SAT DOWN WITH GRACIE TO TALK
ABOUT HER STRUGGLES AND HER
FIGHT TO RETURN TO THE SPORT SHE
LOVES.
LOVES. ♪
♪ >> Reporter: HEADING INTO THE
2014 SOCHI OLYMPICS GRACIE GOLD
WAS FIGURE SKATING’S GOLDEN
GIRL, HERALDED FOR HER
CONFIDENCE, POISE, AND GRACE
KELLY GOOD LOOKS.
>> YOU CAME BACK AND YOU WERE A
SENSATION.
SENSATION. YOU WERE A GOLDEN GIRL.
WHAT WAS THAT TIME LIKE FOR YOU?
>> IT WAS -- IT WAS LIKE -- I
MEAN, IT WAS INCREDIBLE, BUT I
ALSO REMEMBER FEELING KIND OF
LIKE A FRAUD IN A WAY.
LIKE, I WAS AMERICA’S SWEETHEART
OR I WAS THE GOLDEN GIRL, AND I
JUST -- I WAS AFRAID TO BE REAL
WITH MY STRUGGLES BECAUSE THEN I
WOULDN’T BE LIKE AS PERFECT AS
THE MEDIA SAW ME.
>> Reporter: JUST A TEENAGER AT
THE TIME, GRACIE’S STRUGGLES
INCLUDED A BURGEONING EATING
DISORDER WHICH SHE SAYS STARTED
AFTER A COACH MADE AN JUSTIFY
HAND
HAND -- OFFHANDED COMMENT ABOUT HER
WEIGHT.
WEIGHT. >> WHAT DID THE COACH SAY?
>> HE WAS LIKE LOOK AT YOUR
BUTD.
BUTD. I
I I COUNTED MY CALORIES THAT DAY.
HOW LOW CAN YOU GET THE
CALORIES, AND IT JUST SNOWBALLED
FROM THERE.
FROM THERE. >> AND SO BEGAN A CYCLE OF
BINGEING AND RESTRICTING HER
FOOD AND ALL THE SHAME THAT CAME
ALONG WITH IT.
>> NO ONE NEEDS TO EAT TWO
PIZZAS IN A SITTING, RIGHT?
LIKE THAT’S -- COME ON, GRACIE
IT WAS WEIRD, BUT THEN
THROUGHOUT THE WEEK I’D BE LIKE
YOU CAN HAVE THREE COFFEES AND
TWO APPLES, AND ALSO LIKE, HEY,
UPDATE, THAT’S NOT RIGHT EITHER.
>> WHEN YOU HEAR THAT, THAT’S
SOMEBODY WHO’S REALLY
STRUGGLING.
STRUGGLING. >> IT WAS ONE OF THOSE THINGS
WHERE LIKE I’LL DEAL WITH IT
AFTER I’M DONE SKATING.
>> DID ANYONE KNOW?
>> THERE WERE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE
THAT KNEW.
THAT KNEW. >> YOU WERE GETTING POSITIVE
FEEDBACK, TOO, SOMETIMES,
WEREN’T YOU?
WEREN’T YOU? >> YEAH, AND IT WAS JUST KIND OF
LIKE IN SKATING CULTURE, IT’S
NOT LIKE A UNIQUE THING TO ME,
SO I WOULD TEXT SOMEONE LIKE OH,
LIKE I HAD A TOMATO, AND THEY’D
BE LIKE, WOW, THAT’S SO GREAT.
LIKE I HAD A CAN OF POTATOES,
AND THEN IT JUST GOT MORE AND
MORE EXTREME UNTIL IT WAS JUST
LIKE UNBEARABLE.
LIKE UNBEARABLE. >> Reporter: HER BREAKING POINT
CAME AFTER THE 2016 FIGURE
SKATING WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS.
GRACIE WAS EXPECTED TO PERHAPS
WIN IT ALL.
SHE CAME IN FOURTH.
>> WHAT WAS SO CRUSHING ABOUT
THAT EXPERIENCE?
THAT EXPERIENCE? >> IT WAS EVERYTHING.
IT WAS JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS
LIKE I COULDN’T BE THE BEST IN
THE WORLD BECAUSE I COULD NO
HACK THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS.
>> Reporter: GRACIE SAYS SHE NOW
WISHES SHE HAD TAKEN TIME OFF
FROM SKATING RIGHT THEN.
INSTEAD SHE MOVED TO DETROIT TO
CONTINUE TO TRAIN, BUT SHE COULD
BARELY GET OUT OF BED.
>> I READ THAT YOU PUT PAPERS
OVER THE MIRRORS SO YOU WOULDN’T
HAVE TO LOOK AT YOURSELF.
>> YEAH, BECAUSE AT THAT POINT I
WAS LIKE EVEN SEEING MYSELF OR
LIKE MY BODY WAS LIKE
NAUSEATING, SO IN MY HEAD I WAS
LIKE OH, WELL, DONE LOOK AT
YOURSELF.
YOURSELF. >> Reporter: BY THE TIME GRACIE
SHOWED UP AT A TEAM USA SUMMER
CAMP IN 2017 SHE WAS SEVERELY
DEPRESSED AND IN A DANGEROUS
PLACE.
PLACE. >> I REMEMBER FEELING LIKE THEY
DON’T NEED ME THERE BECAUSE LIKE
I’M JUST LIKE THIS WASHED UP
LOSER.
LOSER. I’M TOXIC, THEY CAN SEE HOW BAD
IT IS, ASK THEN THEY CAN KICK ME
OFF THE TEAM, AND THEN I CAN GO
ABOUT MY SAD LIFE.
I WASN’T LIKE ACTIVELY SUICIDAL,
BUT I DEFINITELY WAS AT A POINT
WHERE LIKE I DIDN’T SEE MYSELF
EXISTING MUCH LONGER.
LIKE PROBABLY HONESTLY I WAS
GOING TO LIVE UNTIL LIKE MY
MONEY RAN OUT.
>> Reporter: CAMP STAFF
PERSUADED GRACIE TO SEEK HELP
BUT SHE SOON ENTERED A PROGRAM
FOR EATING DISORDERS IN ARIZONA.
>> WAS THAT HEALING OR WAS IT
SCARY?
SCARY? >> IT WAS HEALING IN A WAY
BECAUSE I JUST NEEDED SOME TIME
APART FROM SKATING BECAUSE I
BLAMED SKATING FOR A LONG TIME,
BUT LIKE IT WASN’T SKATING’S
FAULT.
FAULT. IT DIDN’T RUIN MY LIFE.
LIKE I ALLOWED MY BEHAVIOR WHILE
I WAS SKATING TO RUIN MY OWN
LIFE.
LIFE. >> Reporter: AFTER SEEKING
TREATMENT, SELF-REFLECTION, AND
TIME OFF FROM THE SPORT, GRACIE
SAYS SHE’S NOW READY TO RETURN
TO THE RINK.
>> I MEAN, I STILL STRUGGLE WITH
THOSE FEELINGS THE LIKE
TREATMENT AND THERAPY ISN’T LIKE
THIS MAGIC WAND WHERE IT’S JUST,
LIKE, FIXED.
LIKE, FIXED. YOU JUST WANT TO START HAVING
MORE GOOD DAYS THAN BAD DAYS.
>> DO YOU STILL HAVE BIG SKATING
DREAMS?
DREAMS? >> THE BEIJING GAMES IN 2022
WOULD BE LIKE THE ULTIMATE
DREAM, AND IF I COULD WIN, LIKE,
A WORLD MEDAL, WINNING A WORLD
MEDAL WOULD ALMOST BE MORE
IMPORTANT TO ME THAN GOING TO
ANOTHER OLYMPICS.
ANOTHER OLYMPICS. >> DOES IT FEEL GOOD TO DREAM
AGAIN, TO DREAM ABOUT THE
FUTURE?
FUTURE? >> YEAH, I ACTUALLY LIKE GO OUT
IN THE WORLD LIKE FREELY, WITH
SOME IMPORTANCE AND LET’S SEE IF
WE CAN DO SOMETHING WITH OUR
LIFE TODAY.
LIFE TODAY. LET’S SEE IF WE CAN LIKE GET
THIS BACK ON TRACK.
>> WOW.
>> WOW. >> YOU CAN SEE GRACIE IS REALLY
HONEST, AND SHE’S SPEAKING OUT
BECAUSE SHE WANTS OTHERS TO HELP
FACE THEIR OWN ISSUES AND GET
HELP.
HELP. SHE HOPES THIS STARTS A
CONVERSATION, BUT SHE -- I WAS
SO STRUCK BY -- WELL, FIRST OF
ALL, SHE’S REALLY, REALLY FUNNY,
AND YOU DIDN’T GET TO SEE IT IN
THAT PIECE.
THAT PIECE. SHE’S SO SASSY.
SHE HAS SUCH A HUGE PERSONALITY.
YOU CAN SEE WHERE THAT DRIVE
COMES FROM.
COMES FROM. YOU KNOW WHY SHE WAS A CHAMPION
BECAUSE SHE DRIVES HERSELF SO
HARD, AND I THINK THAT’S ALSO
THE FLIP SIDE OF THAT IS WHAT
DROVE HER INTO HER SADNESS AND
SOME OF THOSE BEHAVIORS.
>> SO REVEALING.
>> AND I THINK WHEN YOU LOOK AT
SOMEONE LIKE HER FROM THE CHEAP
SEATS YOU THINK SHE’S GOT IT
ALL.
ALL. AND JUST THE FACT, WE DON’T KNOW
HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE WALKING
AROUND LIKE GRACIE.
>> SHE’S AT THE OLYMPICS EATING
ONE TOMATO AND TWO CUPS OF
COFFEE PUTTING IN THESE
INCREDIBLE PERFORMANCES.
INCREDIBLE PERFORMANCES. AND OF COURSE THAT’S NOT
SUSTAINABLE, AND IT WASN’T FOR
HER, BUT SHE’S COURAGEOUS.
>> SHE KNOWS THAT NOW.
THAT’S A STEP IN THE RIGHT
DIRECTION.
DIRECTION. SHE KNOWS SO MANY PEOPLE GO I
DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT
PERIOD.
PERIOD. SHE’S ALL TOO AWARE.
IS SHE GOING TO TRAIN AGAIN?
>> SHE’S ON THE RINK, AND SHE’S
GOT GOALS, BUT SHE’S -- YOU
KNOW, SHE KEEPS IT IN
PERSPECTIVE.
PERSPECTIVE. SHE’S ALSO TRAINING LITTLE KIDS.