Will you come and tie it up?
JAMES: That's the worst boat I've ever seen. That's awful!
- What's the matter with it? - Well, it...
We gave you $5,000 to buy a boat.
Boats are expensive!
You didn't spend all five grand on this.
- That is not a five thou-- - Yes!
I've got toothache. Be kind.
Irrelevant. That is not a $5,000 boat.
- It is! - It's barely a boat. Look at it!
It's brilliant! You'll get a car on this.
- Er... Where? - On the back!
- Who did you buy it from? - A man.
- Was he laughing? - No, he wasn't.
- Can I come aboard? - No.
I don't think it can take two.
(LAUGHS) Look! It's terrible!
Instead of just standing there,
criticising a man who's got toothache,
why don't you go and get a car on the crane
and start loading it?
Soon, our first car was ready to be lifted onto the boat.
It's just nice to be putting something back, really.
It genuinely is. It's a little old Corsa,
and it's gonna be full of coral.
Mr Coral coming, swimming along.
"Ooh, there's something to latch on to."
Then his friend comes along.
His friend comes along.
This is a genuinely brilliant idea.
That doesn't fill me with...
total confidence.
(WHIRRING)
JEREMY: Down a bit! Down!
You'll have to...
Boom out!
Is that the sign for "boom out"?
JEREMY: That. Yeah, that.
It's like being guided by The Village People.
It's working now. Unless--
On! On!
- The next danger-- - You're really helping.
- I've got the guideline. - Right, go!
- JEREMY: Down a bit, James. - Watch for the wind.
Hammond, can you swing it around?
Do you want me to swing it?
Yeah, try and get it...
Oh, shit!
JAMES: Who pulled that?
We've got to save the car! It's a reef! Save it!
Oh, it's gone! It's gone!
JAMES: Who pulled the...
That's to release it, you Muppet!
Well, I thought it was a guide rope.
No, I steer it! You just release it when it's on there!
He told me to steer it.
He said, "Pull the rope to steer it."
This is a £400,000 crane!
Why would you steer it with a piece of string?!
It's got all these knobs and buttons.
I steer it, you release it!
So that's a quick release?
- Yes! - Got it.
What if we just said we only had four cars?
So we've taken four cars, removed the engines
and the paint, and they're ready to go in the sea.
- We'll do that piece to camera again. - Yeah, yeah.
Why use a ship as the hub or your coral reef?
Why not use cars? There are millions.
So we've taken four cars, removed the engines,
stripped them down and they're ready to go in the sea.
(MUTTERS) And then James... Oh, yeah.
And then... And then,
this Peugeot was no good as a car,
but will be... but the coral will just stick to it,
oxidising and algae.
Doesn't take very long.
One day, BBC documentary, wheel arch.
Yeah, from just four cars. That's all we had.
Four cars. That's all you need for a reef.
Right, here's the boat we've selected.
It's a little bit damaged.
With the release rope stowed,
we managed to get the first of our four cars
onto the boat, which had come with a broken roof.
- Yeah. Oh, yes! - (LAUGHS)
- Yes! - Yeah!
Good! Result.
And then we had to secure it in place.
I don't understand ratchet straps.
Er... There's water coming into the boat.
- No, there was some in when I bought it. - It's leaking.
There's always a bit of water in the bilges.
It's why boats have bilge pumps.
No, it's coming in.
It's not just like it's in, it's coming in.
- Well, there's none here. - There's holes! It's leaking!
Oh, shit! No, there is! Well, attach us to the crane.
RICHARD: Er... It's gone down.
It has gone... It is going down.
JEREMY: If you attach us to the crane,
it won't sink, will it?
RICHARD: We're tied on.
JEREMY: James, can you just take the slack?
(CRANE WHIRRING)
Sadly, James misunderstood
this simple instruction.
- (CLATTERING) - Oh, the whole thing
has collapsed at the back!
Oh, dear God!
JEREMY: Wait! Stop! Whoa! Whoa! What?
RICHARD: It's falling over!
JEREMY: James, it's falling!
- What do you want? - Holy Mother of God!
It's going down! Abandon ship! Save yourself!
Catch it, James!
JEREMY: Save it!
Stop!
What are you doing?
JEREMY: Oh, God.
The French Secret Service
didn't do a job as good as this.
RICHARD: I'm not talking to any of you.
No. Come on, it was May's fault.
You bought a crap boat,
you put an idiot spaniel on the crane,
and, also, think what we were gonna do
for the conception of the car.
People would love the car. They would see it
as a friendly, coral-loving thing.
You're swimming like an old woman.
I don't like being in the bloody water!
Fact! I'm not comfortable! I'm from Birmingham!