( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST
GUEST IS A STANDUP COMEDIAN YOU KNOW AS THE CO-HOST OF 'WEEKEND
UPDATE' ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."
HE CREATED AND STARS IN THE SKETCH COMEDY SERIES, "THAT DAMN
MICHAEL CHE," WHICH RETURNS TOMORROW FOR ITS SECOND SEASON.
PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW," THAT DAMN MICHAEL CHE.
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( APPLAUSE ) >> THAT'S SO COOL!
>> Stephen: HEY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> DO YOU TELL THEM TO GET THAT
EXCITED.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
NICE TO HAVE YOU ON.
>> IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME.
>> Stephen: FIRST TIME I'VE HAD A CHANCE TO SIT DOWN WITH
YOU BUT NOT YOUR FIRST TIME IN THIS THEATER.
I UNDERSTAND YOU MAY YOUR TELEVISION DEBUT ON THIS STAGE.
IS THAT TRUE?
>> I DID STANDUP ON "LETTERMAN" IN 2012.
YEAH.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: WOW.
THAT'S A BIG TEN YEARS.
NOW, SO, TELL ME ABOUT THAT.
I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I GOT A CALL TO BE ON DAVE.
>> I REMEMBER IT WAS DURING HURRICANE SANDY.
>> Stephen: OKAY, YEAH.
>> AND I HAD NO POWER.
I WAS LIVING IN JERSEY CITY.
I HAD NO POWER, NOW ELECTRICITY, NO ANYTHING, AND I DIDN'T KNOW I
WAS SUPPOSED TO DO IT.
THEY CALLED MY BEST FRIEND WHO LIVED, LIKE, 30 MINUTES AWAY,
BECAUSE HE HAD A PHONE.
AND HE DROVE TO MY HOUSE, KNOCKED ON MY WINDOW, AND WAS
LIKE, "THEY WANT YOU TO DO 'LETTERMAN' TOMORROW."
AND I WAS LIKE, "THIS ISN'T FUNNY."
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: BUT THEY KNEW TO CALL YOUR BEST FRIEND.
>> THEY KNEW TO CALL THEM, BECAUSE MY MANAGER WAS-- THEY
WERE TRYING TO FIND SOMEBODY IN JERSEY CITY THAT COULD FIND ME.
>> Stephen: WOW, OKAY.
>> I SC.BT STAYED IN A HOTEL.
AND I DIDN'T HAVE ANY CLOTHES OR ANYTHING.
>> Stephen: IT WAS NOT EASY TO GET AROUND.
PEOPLE FORGET.
LIKE, IT WAS NOT EASY TO GET IN AND OUT OF THE CITY OR ANYTHING.
>> NO, WE HAD TO DRIVE-- WE HAD TO, LIKE, PICK UP A HITCHHIKER.
>> Stephen: IT WAS ONLY HIGH OCCUPANCIY.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
IT WAS ME AND MY BOY.
WE WERE DRIVING AROUND LIKE, "DOES ANYBODY WANT TO DRIVE INTO
THE CITY WITH US."
>> Stephen: "HEY, LADIES."
>> SOME GUY WAS WITH A KID AND HE GOES, "I'LL GET IN."
I WAS LIKE, "YOU SHOULD NOT DO THAT."
GOT IN WITH A SIX-YEAR-OLD AND WE DROVE TO THE CITY.
WE WENT TO SACKS.
I GOT A BLAZER.
>> Stephen: I HAVE THE PHOTO.
I HAVE THE PHOTO.
YOU YOU DIDN'T-- YOU HAD TO BUY THIS?
>> NO, THAT WAS ABOUT 40 POUNDS AGO.
>> Stephen: WHICH WAY?
>> OH, THAT WAY.
NO...
( LAUGHTER ) I REMEMBER I WENT TO SACKS, AND
I WAS LIKE I'M GOING TO "LETTERMAN" AND I'D LIKE TO LOOK
GREAT.
HE GAVE ME A $3,000 GUCCI JACKET.
WE WALKED THERE'S THE STREET TO H&MAND I GOT THAT BLAZER.
>> THAT POCKET SQUARE IS PROBABLY THE RECEIPT.
( LAUGHTER ) 150 BUCKS.
THANKS,, H& M."
>> Stephen: I WANT TO POINT OUT YOUR FIRST INSTINCT WAS "I'M
GOING ON DAVE.
THE I WANT TO LOOK GOOD."
THANKS FOR DRESSING UP.
YOU JUST FEEL SO RELAXED NOW, RIGHT?
>> I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M WEARING MATERNITY CLOTHES.
BUT...
( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T KNOW.
THIS IS GREAT.
THIS IS AWESOME MAN.
THIS IS, LIKE, WHERE THE BEATLES PLAYED.
>> Stephen: YEAH, ISN'T IT?
YEAH.
>> THIS IS INSANE.
>> Stephen: NOW, LIKE ME, YOU'RE FROM A PRETTY BIG FAMILY.
HOW MANY KIDS?
>> I'M THE YOUNGEST OF SEVEN.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
BEING THE YOUNGEST IS GREAT OF A BIG FAMILY, ISN'T IT?
>> YEAH, MY PARENTS DID NOT HAVE CABLE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: ARE YOU-- NOW,
BEING ONE OF A LOT OF KIDS, WHAT-- ARE YOU THE FUNNIEST ONE
IN YOUR FAMILY?
>> NO, NO!
>> Stephen: ACCORDING TO...
YOU OR THEM?
>> BOTH!
NO.
( LAUGHTER ) I FEEL LIKE THE FUNNIEST-- THE
FUNNIEST ONES ARE NEVER THE ONES THAT END UP BEING COMEDIANS.
IT'S ALWAYS, LIKE, THE THIRD OR FOURTH ONES THAT ARE REALLY
TRYING TO OVERACHIEVE.
THE FUNNY ONES, THEY'RE VERY CONFIDENT-- I THINK THE FUNNIEST
PEOPLE IN MY FAMILY WERE MY GRANDFATHER AND MY GRANDMOTHER
WHO THEY WERE THE FUNNIEST.
MY GRANDFATHER WAS A PASTOR, SO HE KNEW HOW TO HOLD COURT.
HE WAS FUNNY ON PURPOSE.
MY GRANDMOTHER WASN'T FUNNY ON PURPOSE.
SHE JUST COULDN'T HELP IT.
( LAUGHTER ) JUST COULDN'T HELP IT.
>> Stephen: NO FILTER.
>> NO FILTER.
AND SHE WOULD EXAGGERATE.
SHE WOULD-- OH, SHE WOULD EXAGGERATE.
ANYTHING ANYBODY-- "HE WAS NINE FEET TALL!"
HE WASN'T NINE FEET TALL.
"HE WAS 2,000 POUNDS!" AND SHE WOULD SAY IT LIKE, "HOW
COULD YOU CALL ME A LIAR?" ( LAUGHTER )
SHE WAS THE BEST.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF A BREAK, BUT WHEN
WE COME BACK, I'LL ASK MICHAEL HOW HE FEELS ABOUT TALKING ABOUT
THE NEWS EVERY WEEK.
YOU MIGHT BE SURPRISED BY HIS ANSWER.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )