WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.
MY FIRST GUEST IS THE EMMY AWARD-WINNING HOST OF "THE TALK"
AND THE FACE OF "BIG BROTHER."
PLEASE WELCOME JULIE CHEN.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> THAT WAS NICE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
THAT'S A LOVELY DRESS.
>> THANK YOU!
IT'S FUNNY, I HAD TO DESCRIBE TO SOMEONE WHAT I WAS WEARING.
AND I REALIZED WHEN YOU DESCRIBE THIS DRESS, IT SOUNDS TERRIBLE.
I SAID, "IT'S LIKE--" I SAID, "OKAY, IT'S LIKE BLACK.
IT'S KIND OF WHICH I FONY, PICTURE A MOTH, LIKE MOTHY, AND
I SILVER AND GOLDULA MAY ALL OVER IT.
AND I REALIZED IT SOUNDS LEAK A DISASTER.
WHEN YOU DON'T SEE IT AND HEAR IT.
>> Stephen: IT'S IRIDESCENT SPRING FLOWERS FALLING OVER A
MIDNIGHT SKY.
( APPLAUSE ) >> NO, NOT-- YOU TOOK THE WORDS
RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH.
>> Stephen: COME ON.
HEY, IT'S NOT LIKE WE HANG OUT OR ANYTHING, BUT WE DID HANG OUT
A LITTLE OVER A MONTH AGO AT THE LINCOLN CENTER-- WHAT WAS IT
CALLED "THE AMERICAN SONGBOOK THING?"
>> YES, THEY WERE HONORING MY HUSBAND.
>> Stephen: LES MOONVES.
>> RUNS THIS GREAT COMPANY, AND, OF COURSE, ALL THE GREAT STARS
ON CBS CAME OUT.
IT WAS A STAR-STUDDED NIGHT.
>> Stephen: AND I GOT A CHANCE TO MEET YOUR SON, CHARLIE.
>> YES, BUT I HAVE TO BE-- I HAVE A CONFESSION --
>> Stephen: I'LL GET THE CONFESSIONAL BACK OUT HERE.
>> YOU KNOW, LOOK, THAT NIGHT, EVERYONE WAS LINING UP.
THEY ALL WANT THEIR FACE TIME WITH YOU.
AND, LIKE, I'M VERY RESPECTFUL OF, LIKE, NOT, LIKE, TRYING TO
DOMINATE SOMEONE THAT EVERYONE IS TRYING TO TALK TO.
AND I THOUGHT, I'M GOING TO SAVE MY MOMENT WITH STEPHEN COLBERT
TO GET A PICTURE OF MY SEVEN-YEAR-OLD SON, CHARLIE,
WITH YOU.
>> Stephen: I WOULD SO MUCH RATHER HAVE MY PICTURE WITH A
SEVEN-YEAR-OLD.
WE HAVE THE SAME-- WE HAVE THE SAME READING LEVEL.
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, HE'S A BIG STEPHEN COLBERT FAN.
YOU REMEMBER YOU CAME TO OUR HOUSE FOR A MEETING.
>> Stephen: YEAH, SURE.
>> SHORTLY AFTER WE SAW ALL YOUR BILLBOARDS AND HE SAID, "THAT'S
COLBERT!
THAT'S COLBERT!
PULL OVER."
I SAID, I KNOW, I KNOW."
I SAID I'M GOING TO GO OVER FOR MY SON-- PARENTS DO ANYTHING FOR
THEIR KID-- AND FOR THE BRIEF MOMENT I HAD YOUR ATTENTION--
NOT BECAUSE OF YOU, BUT EVERYONE WAS LINED UP-- I SAID, "OKAY,
CAN I PLEASE, I HATE DOING THIS."
AND YOU WERE SO GRACIOUS.
AND I WAS HITTING THE VIDEO INSTEAD OF-- AND THAT'S WHAT YOU
DID.
AND I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD."
I SAID, "I'M SORRY, I WAS HITTING VIDEO."
AND YOU ENDED UP PUTTING YOUR HEAD DOWN LAUGHING.
>> Stephen: I JUST GOT THIS.
SOMEBODY HANDED ME THE PHOTO AS IT TURNED OUT RIGHT THERE.
THERE I AM.
( LAUGHTER ) SO THERE'S CHARLIE AND WHAT
APPEARS TO BE THE BIG FOOT FLEEING A PHOTOGRAPHER.
( LAUGHTER ) RIGHT HERE.
HOLD ON A SECOND.
"CHARLIE, I PROMISE THIS IS ME."
THERE YOU GO.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> BUT THE MOST HORRIBLE PART OF THE STORY SISOON REALIZE, I'M
THE ONLY ASIAN WHO CANNOT READ A CAMERA.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I THINK THAT IS A
JOKE ONLY YOU CAN TELL.
>> YES.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I DON'T EVEN GET THAT JOKE!
>> OH, AREN'T YOU SO GRAND.
>> Stephen: NOW, AS I SAID, YOUR LOVELY HUSBAND, LESLIE
MOONVES, IS THE BOSS AROUND HERE OF THE CBS CORPORATION.
DO YOU EVER TALK ABOUT ME?
DOES HE EVER, LIKE, MY NAME EVERY COME UP OR ANYTHING.
>> EVERY NIGHT.
EVERY NIGHT.
YOU'RE IN BED WITH US EVERY NIGHT AT 11:35.
I CAN'T GATE GETAWAY FROM YOU.
HE TALKS ABOUT YOU IN THE MORNING-- ALL THE TIME.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A PET NAME FOR HIM, YOU KNOW, AT CBS.
IT'S MR. MOONVES.
( LAUGHTER ) DO YOU HAVE-- DO YOU HAVE ANY
PET NAMES FOR LES MOONVES.
>> I DO BECAUSE MY HUSBAND IS THIS TOUGH, GRUFF GUY.
HE'S LIKE A MAN'S MAN.
AND EVERY NOW AND THEN HE SHOWS HIS SQUEAMISH SIDE.
>> Stephen: SQUEAM ITCH, HOW SO?
>> OH, NO, PLEASE.
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE HE'S GOING TO
BE, "JEWELS, OH!" AND IT'S THINGS THAT YOU WOULD
BE LIKE, "REALLY?
I SAID I'M GOING TO GO BREAST FEED THE BABY."
AND HE'S LIKE "OH!" YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, THIS IS-- SO ANY TIME HE GETS THAT WAY, I'M LIKE, "WHAT'S
WRONG, MY LITTLE PETUNIA?" HE'S MY LITTLE PETUNIA.
>> Stephen: OKAY, I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND.
>> AND IT ALWAYS MAKES HIM LAUGH.
HE'S MY PETUNIA.
>> Stephen: I CALL HIM "BIG DOG."
( LAUGHTER ).
>> THAT WILL -- >> Stephen: LL COOL LES.
MR. CHEN."
>> YOU KNOW, SOMEONE CALLED HIM THAT ONCE?
>> Stephen: REALLY?
THAT'S A COMPLIMENT.
>> THANK YOU!
WHEN I USED TO WORK IN NEWS, EVERY NIGHT THEY WOULD SEND THE
HOMEWORK TO THE DOOR, AND ONE DAY HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND IT
WAS AN ASIAN GUY, AND HE GOES, LOOKS AT HIM VERY SUSPICIOUS AND
GOES, "MR. CHEN?" AND MY HUSBAND GOES, WHAT, DO
YOU THINK?" AND HE GRABBED THE HOMEWORK.
AND I WAS LIKE, "YES, MR. CHEN."
>> Stephen: YOU STARTED OFF-- YOU STARTED IN CBS LOS ANGELES
ORIGINALLY?
>> NO, I STARTED OUT IN DAYTON, OHIO.
AT THE ABC AFFILIATE.
>> Stephen: PAYING YOUR DUES.
>> PAYING MY DUES.
AND IT'S GREAT, YOU KNOW.
IF YOU WANT TO WORK IN NEWS, YOU GO TO A SMALLER MARKET, AND YOU
LEARN SO MUCH ABOUT LOCAL GOVERNMENT.
YOU GO TO, LIKE, SCHOOL BOARD MEETINGS, CITY COUNCIL MEETINGS,
EVERYTHING, AND THAT'S WHY WHEREI-- THAT'S WHERE I GOT MY
START.
BUT I WAS AN INTERN IN 1989 AT CBS NETWORK NEWS WHERE 10 YEARS
LATTER, I WAS ANCHORING THE SHOW.
>> Stephen: HERE IN NEW YORK.
>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
( APPLAUSE ) SO THAT WAS --
>> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU LEARN?
BECAUSE WE HAVE INTERNS HERE, WE HAVE INTERNS HERE, I'M ALWAYS
CURIOUS WHAT ARE THEY REALLY LEARNING?
I WANT THEM-- BECAUSE THEY DO HELP TO DO THE SHOW.
I WANT TO MAKE SURE THEY'RE LEARNING SOMETHING.
WHAT DID YOU LEARN?
>> I'LL BE THE FIRST ONE TO SAY I DIDN'T TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE OF
MY INTERNSHIP BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, I'M FROM QUEENS.
I GREW UP IN QUEENS.
AND ( APPLAUSE )
YEAH, LET'S HEAR IT FOR QUEENS.
>> Stephen: PEOPLE IN QUEENS NOT WORK HARD?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
>> I WAS LIKE, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE NOT GETTING PAID?"
>> Stephen: THAT WAS BACK IN THE DARK DAYS BEFORE INTERNS GOT
PAID.
>> RIGHT BEFORE THE CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT.
BUT I MADE A LIFELONG FRIEND AT THAT INTERNSHIP.
>> Stephen: WHO?
>> BEFORE I TELL YOU WHO IT IS, BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW HIM, I
WAS 19.
AND I HAD A CRUSH ON ONE OF MY FELLOW INTERNS.
THIS GUY WALKS IN, AND HE HAD THIS BEAUTIFUL WAVY DARK HAIR
THAT HE WORE IN A LOW PONYTAIL, AND HE HAD THESE PLASTIC RIMMED
GLASSES, LIKE ELVIS COSTELLO.
AND HE WORE, LIKE, DOC MARTINS AND, LIKE, A HUNDREDS OF
THOUSANDSTOOTH JACKET.
AND I WAS LIKE, WOW, THIS GUY IS SO COOL.
THEN FAST FORWARD.
YOU KNOW WHO ANDY COHEN IS?
>> Stephen: YES, I'M FAMILIAR WITH MR. COHEN.
>> HE WAS ANDREW COHEN THEN.
AND I HAD A BOYFRIEND IN COLLEGE.
AND I GUESS I WAS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT ANDREW COHEN, ANDREW
COHEN.
AND ONE DAY MY BOYFRIEND SAYS TO ME, "HEY, JEWELS, YOU KNOW, YOUR
INTERN FRIEND ANDREW COHEN--" HE WAS A WAITER, MY BOYFRIEND.
"HE CAME INTO THE RESTAURANT, AND I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU,
BUT HE WAS HITTING ON ME."
I WAS THE LAST PERSON TO FIND OUT THAT HE WAS GAY, APPARENTLY.
>> Stephen: I GOT ONE OTHER THING FOR YOU.
I KNOW YOU'VE TALKED ABOUT HOW ON "BIG BROTHER" THEY DIDN'T
KNOW THAT DONALD TRUMP HAD BUN THE ELECTION.
THEY WERE SEQUESTERED WHILE DONALD TRUMP-- YOU KNOW, GOT THE
VICTORY.
WERE YOU TEMPTED AT ALL TO LIE TO THEM?
( LAUGHTER ) TO SAY, LIKE, "GUESS WHAT?
GARY JOHNSON HAD A GREAT NIGHT."
ANYTHING.
"WE'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE A PRESIDENT FOR A WHILE."
LIKE, DID IT OCCUR TO YOU AT ALL?
>> YOU KNOW, THE RULES BASICALLY OF "BIG BROTHER" IF YOU'RE
LOCKED IN THAT HOUSE, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY NEWS FROM
THE OUTSIDE WORLD SO I DIDN'T THINK I WAS GOING TO TELL THEM
WHO WON THE ELECTION.
BUT THE PRODUCERS CAME TO ME AND SAID, "WE'RE GOING TO HAVE YOU
BREAK THE NEWS TO THEM."
I'M LIKE, "WE'RE BREAKING THAT FOURTH WALL.
THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE OUTSIDE INFORMATION OF THE
OUTSIDE WORLD."
BUT THEN I THOUGHT WHAT A MOMENT, OKAY.
I'M GOING TO GO-- SO I GO IN, "HELLO HOUSEGUESTS," THE WHOLE
THING.
AND THE DRUM-UP.
I'M LIKE "HOW MANY PEOPLE-- RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU THINK
HILLARY CLINTON WON THE ELECTION?"
AND I THINK EVERYBODY BUT ONE-- I THINK THERE WERE EIGHT PEOPLE
LEFT-- RAISED THEIR HANDS.
AND I'M LIKE, OH, THIS IS GOING TO BE A GOOD REACTION.
AND I LAID IT OUT THERE.
AND IT WAS SO INTERESTING TO SEE EVERYONE, "A," JAWS DROPPED.
AND THEN, "B," THEY ALL LOOKED AROUND AT EACH OTHER LIKE OH.
ARE THEY GOING TO JUDGE ME IF MY JAW IS OPEN.
BECAUSE YOU KNOW, POLITICS, ONCE YOU SAY HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ANY
ISSUE OR ANY CANDIDATE, YOU AUTOMATICALLY PISSED OFF HALF
THE COUNTRY.
SO THEY WERE LIKE... "OH.
OH.
BECAUSE THEY KNOW THE CAMERAS ARE ON.
IT WAS FASCINATING TO WATCH.
>> Stephen: SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT-- WHEN YOU'RE IN THE
"BIG BROTHER" HOUSE YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE NEWS
ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS?
>> ZERO.
>> Stephen: IF THINGS KEEP GOING THE WAY THEY ARE, ARE
THERE ANY OPENINGS?
BECAUSE I'M IN.
I'M SO IN.
( APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
"THE TALK" AIRS WEEKDAYS RIGHT HERE ON CBS, AND
"BIG BROTHER" RETURNS FOR ITS 19th SEASON THIS SUMMER.
JULIE CHEN, EVERYBODY.