Our country's experiencing the most divisive time
in recent history,
but the holidays are upon us.
I wanna find out what families are doing
to stay connected this season.
We just ignore family around the holidays.
We stay away from relatives that are racist...
Take antidepressants.
-Get medicated. -Get medicated.
We've got lots of racist relatives.
-Yes, unfortunately. -Yes.
What do you do when your racist cousin
says something racist? -Not allowed in my house.
Not allowed in my house.
-Not allowed in my house. -No way.
My house, my rules.
My grandfather was racist.
When we would watch football
and people of particular color
would be running down the field, he would cheer for them
using the not nice words. -Oh...
-He's dead now? -Yes, ma'am.
-That's good. That's good. -Well...
-That's probably for the best. -It happens. Well...
I was starting to see a pattern,
particularly among white families.
But crazy shit like this
doesn't have to be a holiday tradition.
Luckily, there's a solution,
and that's where I come in,
by letting this guy come in.
Meet Dr. David Campt.
As a racial dialogue expert,
he travels the country running a workshop
called the White Ally Toolkit,
where woke white liberals
learn to effectively communicate with the not so woke.
David's basically the white people whisperer.
So how many of you folks have racist friends, relatives
that you think you might see over the holidays?
Everybody.
So what are some things that white people tend to do wrong...
-Oh! -Sure.
Crocs with socks.
Crocs with socks are, in fact, bad,
but let me finish the question.
I'm asking, what are some things that white people do wrong
when other white people say things
that are racially problematic or otherwise disturbing?
I mean, like, calling someone, like, an idiot or stupid.
That's exactly right.
No, 'cause you send it in a text.
So the method that you want to think about is R.A.C.E.,
and R.A.C.E. stands for "Reflect, Ask, Connect, Expand."
Let's suppose that person is your cousin Biff.
How does he know my cousin Biff?
And Biff wants to talk about how
affirmative action is keeping him out of a job
and making black folks lazy.
What do you do?
Not my house!
What does that mean?
It means it's not allowed in your house.
My house, my rules.
Not my house.
Well, or you can try to influence people
and stay connected to them.
You ask him what happened in his life that
caused him to believe that.
-Is that...is that...is that...? -No.
Actually, that's correct.
That's exactly what you should do.
Alright, let's turn to the next part of the scenario.
So what's important to do is to
find something you can agree with in what Biff said
and connect with him.
No, I can't connect with Biff.
I can't, he's racist.
As an official black person, I'm telling you,
you can connect with him.
Yeah, but I gotta be real honest with you.
I may be white on the outside,
but on the inside... -No, no, no, no, no.
No. I got it. I hear you.
I did see "Black Panther" nine times, though,
and I very much identified with it.
-That's great.
-But you are a white person. -Mm-hmm. Yep. Yeah.
And you have a similarity to Biff that I do not.
OK. Yeah, no, I hear you.
I get it now. I get it now. -OK.
To see if this was effective,
I needed to try it out in the real world.
I've decided to put David's methods to the test,
and there's no better place to find conflicting family views
than New Jersey.
The Cofrancisco family had a history of dinners gone bad.
So they were more than willing
to let any random stranger with cameras come into their home
if it meant their holidays could be more pleasant.
What's on your sweater?
Just, you know, your standard
traditional Christmas sweater.
It's black.
Yeah, it's just a Santa sweater.
-Papa, would you wear a sweater like Desi's?
Maybe not.
-If I would have known you were wearing
your black Santa shirt, I would have wore my black Jesus sweater.
Jesus is white.
-Jesus isn't black or white. -He was Jewish!
-He's actually... he's Middle Eastern!
He was Jewish.
-Jewish is a religion. -Jewish is a religion!
The nationality part
was Jewish. -No.
Well, if Jesus wasn't gonna bring
this family together at Christmastime,
there was only one thing that could.
So who likes football?
I don't watch football anymore.
-He hasn't watched football all year.
Why haven't you watched football all year?
'Cause I don't like what's going on.
-The kneeling. -With Kaepernick.
-The kneeling. -Yes. Don't like it.
-You don't like it? -Not at all.
I disagree.
It was time to work my magic.
OK. So you say that you disagree.
-Yes. -OK.
This is the point of the conversation
where you need to connect.
You're really gonna let
someone kneeling before the football game
stop you from watching the entire game?
-Yes, I am. -The entire thing?
-Yes. -That doesn't make any sense.
Just don't watch them kneeling.
-Just turn it on after. -One way of handling
this sort of conversation is...
The R.A.C.E. method... I'm trying to teach you f**ks
how to have a civilized conversation!
I think it's going great.
I really feel that this family is responsive
to the techniques that I've shown them.
I think David would feel very proud of the way
that I'm handling this.
-I put the TV on, and I watch this kid kneel down,
I shut it off. I don't want to watch him.
Just, like, let them kneel. Who cares?
They're, like, making a statement. It's a peaceful protest.
Help me, Desi!
OK, very good, very good, very good.
You actually just did all four steps in one statement.
You were reflecting on what was happening here.
You asked for help.
You were connecting with me,
and you were expanding on an idea.
All four.
-Happy holidays! -Happy holidays!
What's so happy about it?
It's a scary time for men right now.
-Men?
-Men? Just men?
Well, there's always next year.
Something tells me I'll be back.