[ Jeff sobbing loudly ]
I can't believe he's dead.
Goes to show, you can go at any moment,
no matter how perfect your body is.
If I'm God, I'd want that back, too.
This is tragic!
I was about to get Tuttle to lend me 16 bucks.
I needed that 16! Why?
I'm getting sued for renting someone
an apartment I don't own.
It costs 16 bucks to park at the courthouse,
where I will tell that person to go [bleep] himself.
[ Feinting sobs ]
[Hushed] You're doing great. We'll be done here soon,
then we'll set you up with a new identity.
Thanks, Stan -- Oh, God!
I just miss you so much, buddy!
So sad! So unsuspicious!
Today we lay to rest Al Tuttle.
Tuttle was recently outed as a snitch
against multiple crime families.
[ Italian-style music plays ]
[ Slurping ]
[ Bones crack ]
But even more recently, he happened to die --
murdered by one of the many prostitutes
he had grown to trust. [ Fingers snap ]
But most importantly, Tuttle is now very dead,
and anyone who came to town looking to kill him
can head home.
God did the job for you.
I thought a prostitute killed him?
Uh, the -- the prostitute's name was God.
She was...Dutch, I believe.
No more questions. This funeral's over.
♪♪
Why all the long faces?
It's a beautiful day. Let's chop it up.
Is there any difference between heavy cream
and heavy whipping cream?
Yeah. They add a protein that makes it easier to whip.
Oh. Uh, well...
Tuttle's still alive! We faked the whole thing!
♪♪
Well, shit. Up and at 'em. Time for plan B.
I'm going, too?!
[ Gunshot ] Stan: Absolutely.
Your dad's been off his game, and I can't leave you thinking
that's how Big Stan operates.
Is this really a mission for a 14-year-old to be going on?!
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I was talking to a gray-haired man.
Oh, my God!
Tuttle was dead, and now he's back to life!
Well, if Tuttle's not dead...
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Man: Gold medal! Team U.S.A.!
This isn't a dream! This is really happening!
I know!
I think we lost 'em.
And if they do catch us, at least I'll die with friends,
which I really never saw for myself.
We're gonna be fine. There's a safe house in Vermont.
We just have to get there, notify the CIA,
and they'll swoop in and reset everything for Tuttle.
I liked my old life.
Now I'm gonna be shipped off to somewhere like Antarctica.
I mean, it'll be a nice excuse to wear my new winter coat,
and there's gotta be good access to fresh fish.
Can't be much traffic.
Okay! I'm actually looking forward to it!
Mr. Tuttle, how'd you end up in witness protection anyway?
Well, back in my 20s, I lived in Chicago...
[ Harp strums ]
...and I suffered from horrible agoraphobia.
Didn't go outside for years.
And then one day I forced myself to face my fears.
But as luck would have it, Chicago was hosting Mob-Con,
and there were a few families there
who didn't care for each other.
[ Squishing ]
Courtesy of the Gambonis!
I saw a mob hit. And then another.
Strike four! Courtesy of the Gambinos!
[ Man gagging ]
Courtesy of the Bingonis!
I had to testify in a whole mess of trials.
So I was placed in witness protection.
[ Harp strums ]
But I choose to look at it as a blessing.
Otherwise, I never would have ended up in Langley Falls
and met you guys!
Geez. Meeting us is the blessing?
Ever wish you just let the mob kill ya instead?
[ Both laugh ]
Ah, sometimes I wonder if they did
and this is actually hell!
[ Both laugh ]
[Gravelly voice] The devil lives in hell!
[ Speaking in tongues ]
He, uh... sure does, Dad.