[eerie piano music]
♪ ♪
- Oh, my God. [radio static crackles]
We found the crash site of the rugby team.
There are survivors.
Assessing the damage. We'll send coordinates.
- Hello, men.
I'm rescue worker Smith.
This is rescue worker Ruiz.
- Hey.
- We're gonna get you off this mountain.
Now, we need to assess the situation.
I can see that not all of you are here.
And since you've been missing for over three months
without any food, we assume that, to survive,
you had to resort to some extraordinary measures.
- Yeah, it's true.
- Tell me, did you survive because you ate...
- The plane, yeah.
- What?
- In order to survive, we ate the plane.
- No way. - It's true.
- You ate the plane you went down in.
- Well, we didn't see any other plane up here.
[laughter]
- Yeah, we just had the one, Smith.
- Was it good? - Tina, don't--this is not--
- What, I...
- No. No, it wasn't good. - It was pretty bland.
- So you ate the wings?
- Yeah.
- You ate the seats?
- Oh, yeah.
- You ate the oil and the gas?
- Well, we drank it.
- You can't eat a liquid. [laughter]
- Well, that's what I meant. Thank you.
- Yeah, you didn't say that.
- What about the in-flight meals?
- We tried them, but they tasted terrible.
- Really disgusting, really disgusting.
- All right, do you guys know where we can find
the black box?
- [inhales sharply] Ooh, anybody else want to tell him?
- Okay, I'll go. We ate it.
- Are you serious?
- It's the best part of the plane.
It's, like, the heart meat.
- That was a good day. - That was Thanksgiving.
- Oh, that's right, yeah. - Yeah.
- Okay, there are more important things
to discuss right now.
- Are there?
- Are any of you hurt? - Um, I have a stomachache.
But that might just be from eating the plane.
- Yeah, that's what it is. - If I had to guess.
- Yeah, definitely.
- If you didn't eat any of the people,
where are the rest of the passengers?
- Oh, they went down the mountain.
They didn't want to eat the plane.
- Why didn't you guys go with them?
- We were eating the plane.
- Hey, have you seen my walkie-talkie?
- [crunching] - It was right here.
- Seriously?
- The plane was better.
The plane was better. - Yeah, figured as much.
- Now, for dessert, does anybody have any gas
or oil I could eat?
[laughter]
I got you. - Smith.