Mark: Go through this ONE Video without saying the word Penis...
Mark: ...Starting now.
Tyler: Penis.
Mark: Hello everybody! My Name is Markiplier, and welcome to the Seven Second Challenge.
Now this is a Challenge that we have not done in a long Time.
Mark: But the App MAYBE got updated? I don't know.
Mark & Ethan: What's new November 25, 2015?!
Mark: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOU DAN AND PHIL Ethan: *Slight giggle*
Mark: Alright fine! You know what? We're gonna do it anyway!
Because we haven't done it, in like a YEEAARRRR.
Mark: Whoever gets eliminated, they're out.
Mark: Rock, Paper, Scissors, SHOOT!
Ethan: Ba! Ba!
Mark: WELP.
Mark: Rock, Paper, Scissors, SHOOT! *wins* Yesssss!! Tyler: Dammit.
Mark: HA HA HA HA! Ethan: So I'm first?
Mark: Yeah. Tyler: That means You need to switch Me.
Mark: Get up there! Alright, name three Things you'd happily blow up with Dynamite.
Ethan: Okay, a House, a Car, a Building!
Mark: A House and a Building are the same Thing.
Ethan: Urhh... Fuck - A DOG!
Tyler: OHHH! He made it! *Mark laughing*
Ethan: NO! Tyler: He made it!
Ethan: WHY WOULD I NOT-?! Tyler: He made it!
Ethan: I wouldn't happily do THAT!
Mark and Tyler: WOAH! Ethan: That's just the first Thing that came to my Mind! Tyler: OH MY!
Tyler: I think He failed, because He wouldn't happily do it.
Mark: Yeahhh that's pretty bad.
Mark: Also like a House and a Car?
Ethan: *giggles* Mark: WHY?
Ethan: I don't know, I was just thinking of Things to blow up- Mark: Are there Dogs inside these Houses and Cars?
Tyler: I would have said like -
- Hitler.
Tyler: ...Osama Bin Laden.
Ethan: He said Things. Mark: Yeah, Things.
Tyler: They're Things... Human Beings are Things.
Tyler: Invent a Seven Second Challenge, then do it.
Mark: UH. Touching - touching my Nose seven times!
Mark: (Every Time He touches His Nose): Uh
Mark: Whipping my Dick out! Ethan: *laughs* Mark: In seven Seconds!
Ethan: *giggling* You failed.. The Challenge.
Mark: FUCK. Ethan: *still laughing*
Ethan: Pitch a Business Idea that will definitely make you a Millionaire! Go!
Tyler: *clap* Uh, so I created this Social Network Platform,
It's called Fandom, where you are able to actually link, and look at all the information, from-
Ethan: BAAAAH!
Ethan: I don't think you'd make Millions off that... Mark: *executive voice* We're pulling- we're pulling your Funding...
Mark and Ethan: MMMM.
Ethan: *snobbish* It's a No from Me.
Tyler: I nailed that! Mark: Failed it.
Ethan: OHHH you failed it. Mark: Failed it.
Ethan: Ya fucked it.
Mark: Name five things you would NOT find in your Mom's Bedside Drawer.
Ethan: A Dildo! A Picture of my Dad!
A Picture of my dead Dog!
A......
Computer! And an iPad!
Mark: Too late.
Tyler: Too late. Ethan: FUCK.
Mark: NOT find!
Tyler: You wouldn't find your Picture or a Dildo in there?
Mark: You wouldn't find you Mom's Dildo in there??
Ethan: *giggles* No, I hope not!
Mark: *mockingly* You wouldn't find it?...
Ethan: OH! M-MY MOM STARTED WATCHING YOUR VIDEOS! Tyler: *laughs*
Ethan: SO THIS IS TERRIBLE!
Ethan: AAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Tyler: He made some-what of a Dick Joke!
Ethan: He already broke it.... Mark: W-What?...
Mark: What - when did I break it?!
Ethan and Tyler: You said- Ethan: Whip my Dick out!- Tyler: OHHHH!
Mark: I did, I 100%, I did! Tyler: You 100% broke it!
Mark: Alright, okay, I-I'm owed some Dodge Balls!
Tyler: Meow like a Screamo Cat.
Mark: MEOW! ME- ME -ME -MEOW MEOW!
MEOW ME-ME- ME - MEOW ME - ME- MEOW MEOW!
MEOWWWW! ME- ME- ME-ME- MOW!
Tyler: He nailed it. Mark: Thanks Man. Tyler: I'm sorry. He's gettin' easy Ones!
Tyler: Those are really good. Mark: Thanks man!
Ethan: Name 5 Things that shouldn't go on a Tris - Christmas Tree! Go!
Tyler: A Person! Mark: *laughs* Tyler: A Dog! A Car! A Guitar! And a Mexican!
Mark: Hitler! Osama Bin-Laden! All: *start laughing*
Ethan: I guess..You nailed it?...
Mark: Yeah! I-I-I mean, I guess?
Mark: Sing about what You had for BREAKFAST
like a Choir Boy.
Ethan: *sings* I had some Instant breakfast, I put It in some Milk...
Tyler: That's actually true...
Mark: *mumbling* I- alright- ok...
Tyler: WHAT THAT YOU JUST- *random gibberish*
All: *start laughing* Mark: The Fuck??
Mark: Are you okay??
Ethan: Are you upset that I won?! Or upset that I lost?!
Tyler: He hit the wrong Thing!
Tyler: Combine 2 Celebrities, and give it a new Name.
Mark: Uh, Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears!
Mark: Jessica Spears?
This is boring. *laughter*
Mark: Hitler and Osama Bin-Laden! Hitler Bin-Laden!
Ethan and Tyler: *laughing*
Mark: THEY'RE CELEBRITIES!!
Ethan: I guess...they are?...
Mark: *giggling* Everyone knows them....
Mark: UHUUHUHUHHHHHHHHHHHHH...!
Mark: Can you go back to My original One?
Tyler: *starts laughing*
Ethan: Say five Things you would find under the Sea! Go!
Tyler: Under what?
Ethan: The Sea!
Tyler: The SEED or the SEA?
Ethan: THE SEA!
Ethan: THE! SEA! Tyler: OH! YOU DIDN'T EVEN ANNOUNCE IT! You said SEED! Ethan: You failed it!
Tyler: I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE SAID! Ethan: You could understand what I said?
Mark: I understood what he said... Tyler: I didn't understand what he said!
Mark: BAAAHH! Ethan: Well, Ya' failed it!
Mark: Alright, no, give Him Another!
Ethan: *annoyed sigh*
Ethan: Explain what swimming is, without saying the Word Water.
Tyler: It's where you do This: (Tyler trying to doggy paddle)
Tyler: And move forward.
Ethan: Mmmm...
Tyler: In a pool.
Ethan: Uh- Mark: A pool of wh- Tyler: I GOT IT!
Tyler: I HEARD IT GO OFF AFTER I SAID POOL!
Mark: I still wouldn't know what you were talking about!
Ethan: Yeah... Mark: It's where you go like this?..
And move forward?...
In a pool.
So you're just:
(Mark repeats Tyler) Doin' a lot of this! Ethan: *starts laughing*
Mark: In a RANDOM LOCATION!
Tyler: I swam in college, shut up! Ethan: I'M SWIMMING!
Ethan: I'M DROWNING! Mark: *starts laughing*
Tyler *not having this shit*
Mark: Name three things that would ruin a first date.
Ethan: *giggle* UH, shitting my pants!
Saying "I love you,"
killing her.
*stifled, kinda laugh exhale*
Mark: Did this happen? *laughs*
Mark: Did you shit your pants, say you love her, and then killed her out of embarrassment?!
Tyler: Do twenty one-handed claps.
*Mark claps with one hand*
Mark: 19, 20!
Ethan: You did a lot of this! (Ethan repeats Mark) *they all laugh*
Ethan: Pitch a new kids TV show involving cheese, goats, and Google, go!
Tyler: Put Mark in a pen with cheese, goats - goats and searching on Google, on how to feed them.
*disappointment*
Mark: Is that the show?
That's a boring show, man.
Ethan: Yeah, that's not a very GOOD show...
*stone-faced look of imminent death*
Mark: He's gonna kill us...
Mark: Demonstrate a new yoga move, and give it a name.
*flops over*
Tyler: That's an actual yoga move.
Ethan: No it's not! It's called the - it's a moo-move.
*game's timer rings*
Tyler: *laughs*
Mark: Now watch this genius!
Ethan: Uh huh!
[Mark mentally prepares himself for the upcoming difficult challenge]
Tyler: Rap your favorite Britney Spears song.
Mark: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ethan: *claps* Tyler and Mark: *start laughing*
Mark: It threw me off cause, "rap my favorite Britney Spears song" - why wouldn't I just sing it?
Ethan: Do a runway walk with a sassy spin, and say work! Go!
(My god, the beauty)
(such grace)
Tyler: *monotoned* Work.
Mark: Suggest three alternative uses for bras.
Ethan: Ok, uh, you can use them as a shovel!
You can use them as two cereal bowls!
[giggling] And you can use them as the ice things!
Mark and Ethan: *laughing*
Tyler: Ice things?!
Ethan: Yeah! - Tyler: What are ice things?? Mark: Ice trays! Ethan: Ice trays!
Tyler: Ohh! All: *laugh*
Mark: *giggling* TWO cereal bowls!
Tyler: Crawl between my legs, go!
Mark: WH-WHERE CAN I GO!?
Mark: THERE'S NOTHING HERE!
I'M BLOCKED BY HIS GIRTHY COCK!
Tyler: *laughs*
Mark: *quitely* Did I do it?...
Ethan: Mmm.
Ethan: Name three toothpaste flavors you wouldn't ever want to exist, go!
Tyler: For Ethan, peanut butter.
Ethan: No, it's for you...
Tyler: Oh..
Tyler: Poop, snail slime and pee-p-puke...
Mark: Pee puke?
All: *giggle*
Mark: *jokingly pushy* what were you gonna say?...
Mark: *giggling* You just rolled your toothpaste up,
and just a dick starts coming out the end of it! All: *laugh*
Mark: Like: "I shouldn't have bought this!" *laughter*
Mark: Name three things in your room that begin with the letter "T."
Ethan: UH.
[desperately trying to think of things beginning with T]
Ethan: UH! Mark: Nope. Done.
All: *laugh*
Ethan: I could not think of ANYTHING!
Mark: *laughs*
Ethan: Like what even- Tyler: T-SHIRT!
Ethan: Oh yeah. T-shirt...
Mark: Table!
Ethan: Table...
Mark: Tarantula...
Tyler: Tyler!
Ethan: You're not in my room....
*laughter*
Ethan: ARE YOU IN MY ROOM?!
WHILE I SLEEP!?
Ethan: Introduce everyone to your invisible unicorn, and take it for a ride! Go!
Tyler: Hey Ethan! This is my unicorn, Uni!
Hey! Mark! this is my Unicorn, Uni! *Mark giggles*
*Runs over to Cathryn*
Tyler: HEY CATHRYN! This is my unicorn, Uni!
Tyler: WWOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!
Ethan: You didn't take it for a ride in time...
Tyler: I was riding it the whole time-
Ethan: It's dead in the stable now....
*all overlapping each other* Mark: Why is it dead? :(... Ethan: Good job! Tyler: B-but I -
Mark: Name and do impressions of THREE, TV characters, go.
Ethan: *High pitch* "AHHH" Spongebob,
*Deeply* "Aww, I hate the world, I'm Squidward."
*quickly* Deedee!
Mark: What was that?! Tyler: WHAT THE HELL WAS THE LAST ONE?!
Ethan: The last one - Dexter, from Dexter's lab, he goes
Ethan: "Dee Dee!"
Mark: Didn't name it..
Ethan: I DIDN- WAS THAT A REQUIREMENT?!
Mark: Yup. Tyler: Yes.
Ethan: FUCK.
Tyler: Act like a ballerina who's broken her ankles.
Mark: AHH!
Mark: OH GOD!
Mark: *whines*
Mark: *sobs*
Mark: Stage Manager! Don't make me do this! *giggles* I need to pay rent!
All: *laugh*
Ethan: Use three words to describe what you were like in 2010. Go.
Tyler: Tall, dark, and handsome.
Mark and Ethan: You're not dark...
Tyler: I was, I was tan in 2010. I worked as a lifeguard...
Mark: I got it, okay, I'll give it to him...
Mark: Say something creepy related to cereal.
Ethan: *quitely* This cereal's gonna go right in my fucking asshole...
Mark: That's not really creepy... Tyler: That's not creepy...
Mark: I'm not- I'm not creeped out...
Tyler: The way you said it was *kind of* creepy, but what you said wasn't creepy.
Ethan: You wouldn't be creeped out if you walked into a room, and you saw a dude staring at cereal and said:
"I'm gonna put you right in my asshole."
Tyler: I wouldn't be creeped out, I would be concerned.
Mark and Ethan: *laugh*
Mark: Sir! That's the wrong end!
Mark: Are you okay?
Tyler: Invent a pizza with three disgusting toppings, and give it a name.
Mark: A pizza with blood, semen and shh-poop.
It's - it's "Bloodsemapoop." *laughs* Pizza! (WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS)
Ethan: Grade A comedy!
Tyler: I should have added a element in there that
you had to show yourself making the pizza! *starts laughing*
*grunting noises with suggestive motions*
All: *laughing*
Mark: "Why am I still in business?"
Ethan: It's just: *grunts, makes a slicing sound*
All: *laugh*
Mark: Make up a chorus for a country in (the form of a) western song. Go!
Ethan: *sings in southern accent* I kicked my dog, and ate my kid! I kissed my sister last night!
*strums/mimics guitar chords*
Tyler: That doesn't sound like a chorus, that sounds like lyrics...
Ethan: That was a chorus! Mark: I- I can sing along to that!
Mark: That was toe-tapping music! *giggles* Ethan: *laughs*
Mark: *mimicking Ethan's Southern accent* I killed my dog, and kissed my sister! Ethan: That's totally -
Ethan: That's totally a chorus!
Tyler: That's not a chorus!
Ethan: It's like: *singing, southern accent* And then last night, I told ya...
Ethan: *mimicking drums* DO, DO, DO, DO!
*comes in with the killer chorus* I KILLED MY DOG!
*laughter from all of them*
Tyler: Dance like you're made of jelly.
Mark: I'm made of jelly.
Tyler: *starts laughing*
Mark: Look at me!
Ethan: Uh...You've been bitten by a wolf and it's a full moon.
Transform into a werewolf. Go!
Tyler: *howls like a wolf*
Tyler: Werewolf. *laughs*
Ethan: Very stereotypical werewolf...
Ethan: Also, at the end you went:
Ethan: "Werewolf."
All: *laugh*
Mark: Do an impression of three animal mating calls, and name the animals.
Ethan: *VERY loud moan* It's a cow. *laughs*
All: *laugh*
Tyler: Say "I'm so pretty" in Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice.
Mark: *Arnold Schwarzenegger voice* I'm so PRETTY! I'm so PRETTY! Look at how pretty I am!
Ethan: *quietly* That's pretty good...
Mark: *points to Tyler* YEAH, FUCK - *points to Ethan* YOU!
Tyler: Yeah, I knew you could do it! Mark: I was like-
Ethan: *imitates Mark* FUCK! YOU!
Mark: *Arnold Schwarzenegger Voice* FUCK YOU! FUUCCKK YOOUU!
Mark: *Arnold Schwarzenegger grunt*
Tyler: *grunts too*
Mark: *also grunts* It's a cow! *laughs*
Ethan: Pretend you're Mario, and you just saw Luigi get killed by Bowser, go!
Tyler: *Mario voice* It's-a me, a-Mario! Oh, Luigi!... *walks off*
Ethan: It's your brother that just DIED in front of you! Mark: Then you just WALK OFF!?
Ethan: You just walk off! Mark: You just walk away from your DEAD BROTHER?!
Tyler: He-hey, he re-spawns!
Ethan: It doesn't say in this! He just got BRUTALLY KILLED by Bowser!
Mark: That's a horrible life if he was like, eviscerated, and cut open, and is like:
"AHHHH!"
But then like: *Mario voice* "Ah, it's-a okay, he'll-a come-a back!"
Ethan: But what if he doesn't come back? Mark: What if he doesn't come back -
Mark: What if he's *Mario voice* Out-a lives!
Mark: We've gotta end on a good note!
We should make our own.
Mark: This is bullshit!
Mark: We know what funny is! Ethan: Yeah, we do!
Mark: We know what hilariousness can be! Ethan: Yeah!
Tyler: Make up your own tongue twister, and say it ten times.
Mark: Sally sacked a satchel and sucked a sonnn-of-a-bitch, who ssssaid that sex was sweet!
Ethan: Nine more times! Tyler and Mark: *laugh*
Ethan: Reenact a typical day of Markiplier.
Mark: *murmuring* Don't you dare...
Tyler and Mark: *laugh*
Tyler: *sighs* Gotta get-
Tyler: I don't need pants..
Tyler: Gonna record some videos...
Mark: *sarcastic yet also impressed* Yeah...
Mark: Reenact a typical day of Tyler.
Ethan: *laughs*
Ethan: I'm better than everyone here! I can lift this couch!
Ethan: I've got the strongest muscles! They called me Hulk, Zeus and He-Man in high school!
Ethan: I've only got half a face that's a baby! Half a face that's a man!
Ethan: Smile always!
All: *burst out laughing*
Ethan: Do the average day of CrankGamePlays!
Mark: Who's that?... ( ROASTED )
*sadness*
Mark and Tyler: *laugh*
Ethan: Do your worst! I'm ready!
I have acne and my channel's dying! Fucking go!
[getting louder] I'll never be as successful as you! GO!
I'M JUST COPYING YOU AND JACK IN EVERY FUCKING WAY! GO!
Mark: *grumbles* That took the bite out of all my impressions now....
Mark: Alright, ok....
Mark: I'm gonna get - I - I'll get it...
Mark: So much nothing! I've got so - I'm so stal-! Tyler: Come here... Mark: NO!
Mark: I've got this!
Mark: AHHHM! Acne! I'm a copier! Let's move to LA and crush my dreams!
Mark: YAAAY! I'm a slave! OOOHHHH EDITING!
Ethan: *laughs*
Mark: I can do so- I can't end on mean-ness, I can't end on mean!
Mark: AHHHM! My acne's gone! A million subscribers?! Yes, a diamond play button!
Mark: HA!
Mark: There's gotta be one drop of comedy somewhere...
Mark: There's gotta be some funniness here!
Ethan: Carry us to the end! Mark: Please, Frobo!
Ethan: Frobo! Mark: Bilbo...
Ethan: Sam...
Mark and Ethan: *burst out laughing*
Mark: *giggling* Just naming the names!
Mark: *Cry laughing*
Mark: FUCK IT.
Mark: That's the end of the video!
Mark: Thank you everybody so much for watching.
Mark: Uh, uh, thank, Ethan's in the description.
Mark: Tyler's Twitter is also in the description...
Mark: Hopes - Thank y- let me know what you thought of it, down in the comments below.
Mark: Thanks again everybody for watching...
Mark: We're never gonna do this again!
Mark: And as always,
Mark: I'll see you,
Mark: in the next video.
Mark: Buh bye!
Mark: I'M ETHAN. WELCOME TO CRRAAAAANKGAMEPLAYS, CRANKY CREWWWW!
Mark: *starts laughing* Ethan: THAT'S NOT EVEN MY INTRO! YOU'VE NEVER EVEN WATCHED A VIDEO OF MINE!
Mark: Wazzup my CRANKY Cre-!
Ethan: NOOOOOOO!!!!!
Mark: I'm Tyler and I huff glue, *exhales loudly.*
Mark: I have an inflation fetish, I'M Tyler!
Ethan: *repeats Mark* I'M Tyler!
Mark: *starts laughing*
Mark: I'M Tyler, I've got severe hemorrhoids! *starts laughing* I'M Tyler!
Ethan: I'M Tyler! I have moderate to severe plaque psoriasis!
Mark: *laughs*
Ethan: I'M Tyler! I once fisted an entire family of goats! I'M Tyler!
Mark: I'M Tyler! *giggling* I've got no legs! I'M Tyler! [1 like = 1 leg for Tyler]
Mark: *Cry laughing* I'M Tyler!...