THEME SONG: The girls in school.
The girls in school.
Munch, munch, munch till your tummy's full.
Cookies are baked.
It's time to feed.
But healthy foods are what we need.
And we've got time for snacks.
We've got time for snacks.
[BELL RINGING]
FLORLORNA: Here's the new girl, Mr. Mustache.
MR. MUSTACHE: Thank you, Florlorna.
FLORLORNA: Yeah.
MR. MUSTACHE: OK.
Listen up, young ladies.
Let's welcome our newest student to Litchfield Academy.
What's your name?
PIPER SNACKMAN: Um.
Piper.
Piper Snackman.
CLASS: Hi, Piper.
PIPER SNACKMAN: Oh, oh my.
The Litchfield uniforms are, uh, interesting.
FLORLORNA: Yeah.
You'll get used to them.
FLORLORNA: Take a seat, Snackman.
PIPER SNACKMAN: Oh.
Ok.
GOOGLY EYES: Sit next to me, Piper Snackman.
I'm Googly Eyes.
PIPER SNACKMAN: Oh.
[NERVOUS LAUGH] Nice to meet you, Googly Eyes.
FLORLORNA: All right, class.
It's time for snack.
Our snack monitor, Red, will pass out cookies.
RED: Cookie for you.
Cookie for you.
PIPER SNACKMAN: Oh, no thank you, Red.
RED: No thank you?
What do you mean "no thank you"?
It is snack time.
Everybody has cookies.
FLORLORNA: Yeah.
You better eat those cookies, Piper.
Red made them herself.
RED: Mhm.
PIPER SNACKMAN: Oh, but I brought my own healthy snack.
GOOGLY EYES: Hey, look.
A ball.
PIPER SNACKMAN: Wait.
What?
GOOGLY EYES: Catch.
FLORLORNA: Yeah.
I'll have one.
PIPER SNACKMAN: Wait.
Wait.
ALL: [CHEERING]
MR. MUSTACHE: Young ladies, settled down.
Or you'll get a time out in the shoe.
ALL: [GASP] No, Mr. Mustache.
Not the shoe.
PIPER SNACKMAN: What is the shoe?
FLORLORNA: Oh, you don't want to know.
GOOGLY EYES: Here's your ball, Piper.
PIPER SNACKMAN: No.
No.
This is not a ball.
It is an--
FLORLORNA: Christopher.
PIPER SNACKMAN: What?
Christopher?
FLORLORNA: Yes.
I love to pretend.
And I'm going to pretend this is my boyfriend Christopher.
PIPER SNACKMAN: What?
FLORLORNA: Isn't he handsome?
I can't wait to dance with Christopher at our wedding.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
PIPER SNACKMAN: What?
What are you doing?
What is this place?
FLORLORNA: Young ladies, it is snack time, not dance time.
Stop or you'll all have a timeout in the shoe.
ALL: [GASP]
MR. MUSTACHE: Mhm.
ALL: The shoe.
No.
Not the shoe.
PIPER SNACKMAN: Could somebody please tell me
what the shoe is?
RED: You don't want to know.
FLORLORNA: Here.
It's bad luck for me to see Christopher before the wedding.
PIPER SNACKMAN: No.
This is not your boyfriend Christopher.
And it is not a ball either.
It is a kind of fruit, which you will see once I
get all this stuff off of it.
It is called an orange.
MR. MUSTACHE: Hey.
How did that orange get in here?
PIPER SNACKMAN: In my lunchbox.
Would anybody like to try an orange?
FLORLORNA: Yeah.
I would like to try an orange.
STUDENT: I'd like to try an orange.
RED: No.
No.
We have cookies.
We always have cookies.
That is our snack.
FLORLORNA: Are you afraid to try an orange, Red?
RED: What?
Me?
Afraid?
I am not afraid of anything.
I will try the orange.
PIPER SNACKMAN: That's great, Red.
See, oranges divide into sections.
So they are perfect for sharing.
Here.
RED: Let me see here.
[MUNCHING]
Ha.
Hey, this is delicious.
I say oranges for everybody.
ALL: [CHEERING]
PIPER SNACKMAN: My oranges.
Um.
Well, OK.
Sure.
Fine.
Yeah.
I'm happy to share.
Help yourselves.
RED: From now orange is the new snack.
ALL: [CHEERING]
MR. MUSTACHE: Hey.
Hey.
What's the big idea bringing oranges in here, Snackman?
I knew you were a troublemaker.
It's timeout in the shoe for you.
ALL: [GASP] The shoe.
PIPER SNACKMAN: But oranges are good for you.
They're full vitamins and help keep you healthy and strong.
Here.
Try one, Mr. Mustache.
MR. MUSTACHE: Well.
All right.
[MUNCHING]
Mm.
This is delicious.
PIPER SNACKMAN: Mhm.
MR. MUSTACHE: So juicy and sweet.
I love this snack.
For that.
You get timeout in the shoe.
ALL: [GASP] The shoe!
PIPER SNACKMAN: What?
But why?
MR. MUSTACHE: Because you didn't tell me about oranges before.
I could have been eating them for years.
PIPER SNACKMAN: But I just met you.
Um.
Could someone over there please hand me an orange?
Please.
Hello.
Ugh.
I'll just get it myself.
[GRUNTING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]