hello there. most of us can say that at some point in our life we struggled with boredom.
but for some of us boredom is a chronic issue
boredom is defined as a state of weariness and restlessness
as a result of a lack of interest and interest is really about focused attention.
BOREDOM [subtitles using inown.org]
when we encounter something that we want to focus, our attention on we are engaged in life itself.
in the body we start to feel movement instead of stagnation within our being.
this is actually the somatic experience of expansion.
the purpose of coming into physical life is expansion.
so when we feel the expansion that is the result of being interested in something,
we also feel a sense of purpose.
it is a feel-good feeling.
focused attention creates the movement.
otherwise known as growth here in physical environment.
when we feel the lack of momentum the stagnation of energy and are being
as a result of not being focused on anything.
we feel two opposing emotional states,
that pull in opposite directions.
fatigue and restlessness.
the restlessness is actually a reaction to the feeling of stagnation.
it seeks to try to get that feeling of momentum back by all means possible.
because we are largely unconscious beings when we feel bored,
most the time, not all the time we are unaware of the thoughts that were actually thinking.
but when you're bored
if you will stop to observe the thought you're thinking,
you'll notice that they are all focused squarely upon something that you do not have,
not being able to have what you want or enough of what you want.
when you are bored your focus is directed completely tours what is preventing you from having what you want.
think about it like this.
let's say you're a little kid and it's raining outside.
what you really want to be doing is to be playing outside.
when you feel bored your focus is going to be towards the rain,
what is preventing your that feeling of being prevented from having what you want.
when what you want to be doing is playing outside and the rain is preventing you from doing that,
the momentum in your body actually feels stalled out.
even though you want to move forward, you can't.
when you feel bored what you are really wanting is that feeling of movement
within your being in the direction of whatever it is you're interested in.
there is a great deal of wanting inherent in the vibration of interest.
when you are interested in something you want to learn more about that thing,
you want to engage in that thing,
and expansion is all about the movement in the direction of that interest.
sometimes it feels like something else,
like the rain in previous example is what is preventing us from moving in the direction of an interest.
other times it's something inside of us
that is in fact preventing that movement in the direction of our interest.
what i mean by that is a thought that opposes your desires.
when we feel bored we're giving our attention to
the perceived opposition to our interest instead of to our interest.
self-defeating thoughts are a great example of something within us that opposes our interest.
thoughts like "I really want to have someone to talk to right now" that's our interest,
but everyone's at work or busy doing other things so i'm stuck in the silent house with no one to talk to.
that's the opposition to the interest.
we experienced border so often our childhood.
because in our childhood we don't have complete control over what we get to do in our life.
let's say that what we want to do is go to attend a karate class.
it's really our parents decision whether we get to attend that karate class or not.
if we focus on being prevented from following our desire, which feels like soul movement.
we will start to feel stagnated and desperate to escape from the stagnation. bored.
when we say that we're bored, what we are saying is that
we are impatient to actualize what we want.
in patients really only occur and people who doubt that what they want
is something that is actually going to be actualized.
they doubt it because they've been conditioned to doubt it.
they've been several situations before where they really really wanted something
and something prevented them from actually getting it,
and so they developed that impatience which is a resistance. it's not allowing state of being.
if you experience chronic boredom,
you can bet that you have chronically experienced wanting something very badly
and experiencing extreme opposition to whatever it is that you have been wanting.
there is an association in your mind between the feeling of wanting / interest
and the opposition of the wanting / interest.
there is a link in your mind between wanting and being prevented from getting what you want.
the best way to conceptualize of what is actually happening in your being if you struggle with boredom is that
it's almost like you're driving a car
and you have one foot on the gas and one for that the brake at the same time,
and so you can't go anywhere, you feel stuck you also feel desperate to move forward.
now if you're in this type of situation, it's really really painful.
obviously if you want to go in the direction of something there's something preventing you from that expansion
you don't feel good. so what do you do? you seek distraction.
anything they can take your attention away from not being able to have what you want.
so you play a video game or you watch porn or you eat something.
even though this distraction is less painful in the present moment,
it enhances that sense of inertia within you.
and it enhances your sense of unfulfillment.
this association is often created in childhood
when we have an interest in something but our parents opposed our interest.
so we feel the pain of stagnation and even worse pain of desperate restlessness,
we are prevented from engaging our interest and so we learn that it's safer to not have it interested all.
it is at this point that we sink into a state of apathy.
for more information on apathy watch my video on YouTube titled, apathy.
boredom was a painful state of being.
so what is the antidote boredom?
actually there are quite a few.
i'm going to list them for you.
step1: seeing as how boredom is the feeling of lack of movement and are being in the direction of our interest.
seeing as how boredom is trying to drive with the gas on and the break on the very same time.
we have to find ways to take our foot off of the brake pedal.
we have to figure out what it is that is putting the brakes on.
now is the time to pursue your interests.
if you don't know what your interests are now is the time to try everything you can try.
a sample everything and see what you like and don't like.
explore life.
people who are not bored are people who pursue their interests
and most especially who do not get in the way of themselves pursuing their interests.
step2: in order to take our foot off of the brake pedal we have to become very very aware,
of what we genuinely want in this moment,
and also of what it is that is preventing us from going in the direction of what we want.
what are we focused on in this present moment?
what do we feel prevents us? is it a thought?
what thoughts are we thinking?
is an action? what action are we taking or not taking?
what is getting in the way of you pursuing your interests?
three: once you become aware of what thoughts and actions are preventing you
from actually being able to move in the direction of your interest in this moment,
then we have to find a way to challenge those thoughts and actions.
for example I may discover that I really want to talk to someone
but the brake pedal is the thought everyone is busy I have no one to talk to.
if this is the case, I can shift into the attitude of a lawyer or a philosopher,
and come up with a way around this thought.
how is this thought untrue?
what thoughts or actions could actually bring me to someone to talk to.
practice those thoughts and take those actions.
four: if you want to really destroy this link or this programming basically that
you have between wanting something and not being able to get it,
because there's something preventing you from getting it.
then you need to use the completion process.
for those of you that are interested
I have a detailed explanation of how to do the completion process in my book
that is quite literally titled the completion process,
but when you're doing this process
I need you to use it on that feeling of boredom,
when it shows up in your body that desperation that torn feeling between really really
really feeling restless and really really really feeling kind of exhausted
as a result of wanting to go in the direction of what you want but not being able to.
five if you did the previous step,
where you watched what thoughts you're thinking when you are bored my question for you is,
who was watching those thoughts?
were you the one thinking the thoughts? are either one watching you think the thoughts?
this is the time for you to become aware
that you i'm coming into this life are two points of perspective.
we often call as the temporal perspective and the eternal perspective
or the higher-self lower self whatever floats your boat.
the temporal self is the only one that gets bored.
the observer eternal self is not capable of it, because it simply observes.
it doesn't judge something as not interesting.
it doesn't come to the conclusion that something shouldn't be how it is.
so it sees everything through openness and curiosity.
the judgment that something shouldn't be how it is inevitable part of boredom.
boredom is an unconscious thought process on the part of the temporal self.
it causes an emotional resistance reaction that goes like this.
life would be more interesting and fulfilling if I was doing something else.
the thinking self takes everything for granted because its purposes expansion.
expansion is about more better different.
because of this it has an attitude of been there, done that.
it's an attitude of things shouldn't be as they are.
this is not bad or wrong, but a side effect of it is boredom.
so we can learn to spend time in our observer self perspective.
we can practice the art of attention.
if we give enough of our attention to something,
instead of the idea that something is boring it becomes interesting.
let me say this in another way.
if we give our attention to something completely,
instead of to the idea that that something is preventing you from getting what you really want,
it becomes interesting. learn to savor that thing.
by doing this we become intensely connected with what is instead of resistant to it is.
the next time you feel bored instead of distracting yourself,
I want you to play this practice of becoming intensely present.
trying to save her something that you would otherwise perceive as mundane.
for example you can walk over to the sink and start doing the dishes,
but as you do the dishes
I want you to really be fully 100 person interested in the feeling of the soap against your skin,
the feeling of the water as it runs over your hands,
the weight of the plate the colors of them,
the sounds and sensory experience of that washing dishes experience.
I also want you to try to tap even deeper into the let's say emotional aspect of the dishes themselves.
it's ok to personify.
for example when you're washing a dish,
you can try to feel into the servitude that is inherent to that dish.
every single day that dish lends itself to you being able to experience eating.
that servitude is something you can perceive in dishes.
because it is why they were created in the first place.
just try to experience anything you can perceive fully with your interest in that thing.
you can also play a game.
if you're doing this with a mundane activity or inactivity you would otherwise demons boring.
pretend that you're somebody who loves that more than anything in the world.
you know one of those nerves that you usually judges ridiculous for loving that thing.
if you are that person what might you just love to that about that experience.
what would interest you.
six: inherent in boredom is the idea that you don't want what is you want something else.
so you have a choice to make anytime you feel bored.
either you can actually go for something else,
or you can want what is.
if you decide when you're bored, you'd like to go for something else then for God's sakes go for something.
else if you don't like the movie you're watching,
walk out of the movie theater.
if you got a degree in business but you feel like it isn't right for you because you'd rather do something else,
do something else.
it doesn't matter how much energy you may have put into something in the past.
if your soul calls you in another direction,
set yourself free by actually going in the other direction.
you have to let yourself out of the cage of familiar repetitive unfulfillment.
now sometimes this means make a major life change,
even if it makes absolutely no sense.
sometimes this is just as simple as being spontaneous.
I mean really spontaneous.
what you can do is play a little game with yourself.
right here in this moment ask yourself.
if I was completely spontaneous right here in our what I do and then go do it.
anytime your friends offer to take you somewhere in a wink, say yes.
so like I said in the last point
you have a choice when you feel bored,
and that choices either to go in the direction something else,
meaning i want something other than what is actually do it, or to what is.
now if you're the kind of person who says i'd rather learn how to want what is,
then here is your antidote.
not wanting what is means you have judged what is is not okay or not good.
the antidote vibration to that is a state of appreciation.
some of us call this state gratitude of positive focus.
it's really the same kind of thing.
so what I want you to do in this moment is to think about all the positive aspects you can,
all the things you appreciate about,
all the things you are grateful for,
in this moment or in this circumstance that you are judging as boring or unwanted.
if you sit down and brainstorm everything about the what is that you are resisting that you do like.
it will actually create a feeling of movement within your being again.
it is one way to take your foot off the brake pedal in your life and stop resisting what is.
I often tell people who are struggling with boredom to sit down and
pull out a sheet of paper and scavenger hunt things that they do like about the now,
or even about things that are good about not having whatever they want.
boredom can either be treated as a call to practice genuine unconditional presence with whatever it is.
so that you are in a state of appreciation for it
and not really wanting anything other than what it is,
or it can be added as a call to actually take your foot off the brake pedal and go
in the direction of whatever it is that you genuinely want.
so my suggestion is to either way answer that call,
and see what kind of experience is waiting for you on the other side.
[subtitles using inown.org]