- Hi guys.
It is June 14th.
The day that
is so special in our hearts,
in our family,
and the day that my kids get so excited for.
They look forward to this day
every single year.
But 14 years ago,
this day was the worst day of my life.
(melancholy music)
No one expects,
when you're seven months pregnant,
to be told that your baby,
that you've been carrying for so long,
does not have a heartbeat.
And then having to
go through the whole process of grieving
and going through labor,
and then planning a funeral,
and doing all of those things.
And all of those plans that you had
for this little baby,
feel like they're just gone.
All the hopes and dreams that you had,
and the pictures that I had in my head
of my oldest son, Steven, and Bryce
playing together
and growing up together,
and being so close in age.
It's like it's ripped from you.
I felt cheated.
I felt angry.
And I felt like life was just so unfair.
And so 15 years ago,
this was the hardest day of my life.
It felt like that for several years after.
It was still a special day.
We celebrated.
But it was still so hard.
And it still is, to some extent.
But now, we have five beautiful girls,
that we have added to our family since then.
They weren't around for when this happened.
And Steven was only a year old,
so, he does not remember much,
just pictures that we have
and some videos and stuff like that
to look back on.
So for the majority of our kids,
this is a day that they get to celebrate.
(upbeat acoustic guitar music)
We go to the store
and as a family, we pick out flowers.
We pick out toys for Bryce,
toys that they like to play with,
and that they think Bryce would like.
We get bubbles.
(lighthearted music)
Guys, what about this?
This may be fun. - Yeah. Wait,
that looks. - We used to
have that. - Yeah!
- Okay.
Put it in the cart.
We need this.
- For me. - For sure.
- I'm getting this.
- All right. Parker is pushing the cart
full of all of the items that we got.
I think we got everything that we're gonna need.
Now, we're going to the food because we're hungry.
- Strawberry shortcake. - No, no, no.
- All right. So we got Lunchables.
- We got- - Lots and lots of fruit,
like watermelons, and grapes, bananas-
- Oranges. - and oranges. And?
- Balloons. - Balloons.
The most important part.
We got eight balloons for eight members of our family.
- Pop-Its 'cause they're awesome.
- Put it back. We don't need that.
- What? They're just Pop-Its.
They just make loud noises.
I also know a couple cool tricks with them.
- Look how cute it is.
(gentle guitar music)
- All right. Now, off to the cemetery.
(gentle guitar music)
- All right.
Are you guys ready
for our annual June 14th picnic?
- Woo.
- Luckily we have a little bit of shade right here,
really, really close to Bryce's headstone.
So we're going to enjoy the shade,
have our little picnic
and then do some fun activities.
(gentle music)
- This is the aftermath of an amazing picnic.
We plan a picnic every year.
We sit around and we eat,
and we play games,
we play catch,
we blow bubbles
and do all of these things as a family.
And just to see how excited they are
to be there and to do those things.
It really is a special day for them,
and a day that we look forward to.
We take pictures
and make memories together.
And one of our favorite things to do
is release balloons
into the sky,
up to Bryce in heaven.
And so this is a happy day
for our family.
♪ Think about me one more time ♪
♪ Before you go ♪
♪ Someday you'll know ♪
♪ Know what I'm going to say ♪
♪ I've been feeling this way for far too long ♪
♪ And now you're gone ♪
♪ Took me away from all of my fears ♪
♪ Kept me away from all of my tears ♪
♪ And now you're gone ♪
- And this book I got
and I wrote in it the very first year
and then right after we had lost him,
I wrote in it.
I just fill it up
with my thoughts
and little letters to him.
And every year, I write something to him.
(sad music)
- We have hope
that we will see Bryce again one day
and that we'll be able to be all together
as a family again.
One whole big family, all of us, together.
- "Mommy, I know this day wasn't what you had planned
but I'm right here beside you holding onto your hand.
My spirit has already gone.
There's so much work to do.
But Our Father let me come today
so I could comfort you.
I know you and Daddy love me
and it's hard to see me go
but that is why we're sent to Earth
so we can learn and grow.
I wish I could stay with you here
and play with my brother, too.
But for now, I'll have to wait
until your missions are through.
I'll be near when you need me
to wipe away your tears,
to hug you tight and kiss your cheeks
and chase away your fears.
And on the day Our Father calls you to come home,
I'll be right there to get you.
You'll never be alone."