Hey guys, welcome back. Thanks for joining me for another video first off
I want to start by saying if people ask me all the time
You know when I'm posting something on Instagram?
Whether it's like a sweatshirt that I have or a t-shirt that I have cuz I I like to design like just like these fun
Self-empowering girly like kind of pieces and people ask me all the time. Where can I get them?
So this is the get your set on t-shirt. It's a little off the shoulder
Short sleeves it goes, you know to your waist super cute
So if you do want one if you look underneath this video
There should be like a little listing of all of the pieces that I have in the collection
And so if you would like one you can get it there. So this week I want to talk about
self-esteem and really having healthy self-esteem now self-esteem is
really how much you value yourself and
What you feel your self-worth is so self-worth and value have to do with your self-esteem
Now if we don't have a healthy self-esteem, it's because we obviously don't feel worthy
We obviously don't feel like we add value to a situation a relationship etc. Right. This is I'm not good enough
I'm not enough story that keeps playing within ourselves
Now this tape that plays is in our subconscious. Okay?
so let's just do like a quick briefing about why this comes about I can sit here and I could say your
childhood was unhappy and your parents did this which caused you to not feel like you are worthy or
You were raised by a narcissist and you felt like nothing you ever did was good enough
so your value and your self-worth was affected by that you
Were treated terribly by your ex-wife or partner or ex-husband and because you endure that treatment time and time again
your self-esteem began to diminish or
Perhaps you you know are depressed or perhaps you have anxiety which whatever it doesn't even matter why we have low self-esteem
What matters is understanding how it's caused so logically you might say
Yeah, I add value to this relationship. I'm a worthy person I a great relationship
that's all conscious thinking that you're doing what controls your actual life and
Controls you to make decisions is the subconscious programming. So the tape that's running and that's subconscious is
What is running your life? So that's why you consciously know you shouldn't be in this relationship
but you stay in the relationship one of the ways to really
Reprogram that tape is to be aware as to when we're making decisions
that are going off of that programming and that that programming is
Almost like a manifestation of something that you've repeated time and time again or something you've experienced time and time again
So all of those things unhappy childhood the way mom and dad treated you the way your spouse our partner
You know behaved towards you and the treatment that they gave you time and time again
You're not feeling good enough you comparing yourself. All of those things are
Repetitions so what creates?
unhappiness what creates the tape is the
Repetition of the story of the phrase of the mom yelling at you and not making you feel good enough
so because something happens time and time again, that becomes your
Programming in order to heal and have high self-esteem
And you know have a lot of self-worth and value it becomes a matter of you consciously
deciding the thoughts that you're going to think and as often as you can is that in every single moment and recognizing
Oh, here's the tape
All right
I'm gonna push the tape aside and I'm gonna start creating a new tape and the new tape
May not be believable in the beginning
It's gonna take work to retrain the mine to go from low self-esteem to healthy self-esteem
so someone that has high self-esteem is someone who is
Confident who is able to say no to people who is able to have boundaries and knows how to enforce them
They know exactly
Who they are inside and out, so that means that you know your strengths your weaknesses
Your quote flaws, you know the things that just make you human and you accept them tried and true
So you accept the weaknesses just like you accept strengths
And you love yourself regardless, so that means that when you do something that isn't
Perfect being perfect that you don't get down on yourself that you know how to talk yourself through a situation of like, okay
I
Probably should have done better in that scenario
And I didn't so next time I'm going to so you don't beat yourself up every single time
You don't do what you think you should be doing or someone tells you that
You're a bad person or you're wrong or whatever
You accept if you think you are and it's something that you want to work on within yourself
But then you don't beat yourself up about it and you continue to work on it and get better and strive the other
Huge aspect of someone with high self-esteem is you are able to express yourself
So that means that like with the boundaries you're able to communicate like hey, this is what I need you
Have you don't have fear that someone's gonna think you're a bad person?
You don't have fear that well, what if I say this and they don't rise the occasion or that they leave me, you know
how to self parent yourself you know how to have that inner dialogue that if someone can't rise the occasion
Um and do what it is that you need in this relationship in order for it to be Mutual
In for it to be harmonious that you know how to take care of yourself and that you'll be okay
I feel like when you really really trust yourself to take care of yourself in those ways
You don't live in a fearful place where you don't say things because you're fearful of the outcome. And so you try to avoid
Those uncomfortable outcomes you don't avoid them anymore because not that you welcome them
But you understand that they're a part of life in
That you're never really gonna get what you want
If you can't be willing to kind of like go through the fire and that's the case in work
That's the case in your professional life. That's the case in your
Personal life. I always find it interesting that people will often say to me, you know
Like I'm doing so well in my personal life
But my professional life is a mess or my professional life is really good. I make a ton of money. I love my job
I have my own business and my personal life is down in the dumps
You know like there's no one in sight like I'm code
And then so there's always an area of your life that you're trying to work on
If it's not your career
Then maybe it's a relationship with your family or your kids if it's not that maybe it's your physical body
Maybe you want to get in shape
so there is always an area of your life that you're focused on and so
Whatever this teaching learning this stuff in terms of self parenting it affects
every aspect of your life because what you're gonna do for yourself in terms of you know,
Being passive-aggressive and giving you some emotional abuse
that self parenting is also the thing that you're gonna need to give yourself when
You're laying on the couch and you don't feel motivated to go to the gym and that story starts playing of like don't even bother
It's fine
Like we'll just sit here and like we won't do anything so that inner
Conversation you being able to talk to yourself in that way and be loving to yourself it affects
Like I said every aspect of your life, but getting back into you know, the low self-esteem
I think that in order to have good self-esteem you have to be able to
be mindful of the story that you're telling yourself that's causing you to not feel worthy and
Not feel the most confident in yourself
So if I want high self-esteem, I need to know that what I want
I am worthy of it and I need to believe that as much as just like say it
So in order to believe something though, you have to say it time and time again
So if someone came to you and you had never heard this before and they said you're stupid
That was the first time you'd ever heard that you're probably not gonna believe it
you're gonna be like, okay, whatever, but if someone all day
every day
Constantly from the time you get up in the morning to the time you go to bed tells you that you're stupid at some point
You are going to start believing that
because it is a repetitive thought that is being played that you are listening to so that's why I always say
Feed your mind
You should constantly be listening to something that is uplifting that makes you feel that you add value
That you are worthy because you really are at the end of the day so feeding your mind constantly is so important towards
Reprogramming that subconscious wound so that is it for this week
If you have enjoyed this video
Don't forget to give it a thumbs up and don't forget to hit subscribe and the notification bell and I will see you next week