Grill: I’m telling you, he’s a vampire!
Chill: Time traveler!
Grill: Vampire!
Chill: Time traveler!
Grill: Vampi-
Brew: What’s going on in here?
Grill: Oh hey Brew.
Uhh-
Chill: We’re looking at pictures of Keanu Reeves
through time as he travels to save the world.
Grill: I think you mean he lives eternal now that
he has been embraced into the crimson kindred.
Hiss.
Brew: Alright, alright, I get it.
Let’s see these pictures.
Howard?
Howard: Displaying on Living Room TV.
Brew: Huh.
I can see it, but I don’t think this is exactly evidence of
time traveling vampires or whatever you two are arguing over.
Grill: Oh yeah?
Well how about this?
Howard!
Play the Charlie Chaplin thing
Brew: I don’t… What am I looking at?
Grill: Howard, enhance!
Howard: That’s not a thing.
Grill: There! See it?
She’s on a cellphone.
Brew: Hmm… Well, it looks like she’s
holding something for sure, but a cellphone?
I’m not convinced.
Chill: Oh oh, are we going to, ahem dodododoo dododododododo
get to the bottom of this confusing chronological conundrum?
Brew2: Haha! Nice alliteration.
Grill: Wait, WHAT!?
Brew: Today’s topic should be viewed as fun, not serious.
Time travel doesn’t exist for people with
modern day technology, and until future me
appears we can assume that will remain true.
And if you ever find yourself able to travel through
time, please don’t meddle in the fabric of the
timelines, the consequences could be disastrous.
And with that out of the way… Let’s get into it.
Brew2: I know what you’re thinking.
Grill: How is this possible?
Brew: Simple, because we’re animated.
But more importantly, how common is this phenomena?
Oh and just to make sure we’re both
me, what’s your favourite type of cake?
Brew2: Mocha banane latte.
Brew: Alright, yeah checks out, that’s me.
Brew2: Well, I’ve done the research in the next
24 hours, and the answer is, “common enough”.
Brew: Huh, take it away, other me.
Brew2: This picture which shows a
Cornish beach scene from September 1943.
At its center though is purported to be a man dressed as Mr. Bean
looking at a cellphone.
Another example comes in the form of this
photograph from British Columbia, 1941
at the opening of the South Fork Bridge.
In it is a man who looks rather hipster-y with
his sunglasses, odd shirt, and small portable
camera, which were uncommon at the time.
Something similar to a 1995 Mike Tyson
boxing match where it seems like an audience
member is taking a video on their smartphone.
And of course, the famous image of a woman
supposedly holding a cellphone in behind the
scenes footage from a Charlie Chaplin film.
Grill: Oh yeah, well what about this picture
of a British soldier doing a dab back in 1930?
How do you explain that, coffee man?
Brew: I knew dabs were timeless…
Brew2: That one’s simple.
Grill: How does a dance move from modern
day appear almost a hundred years ago?
Brew2: Well first off, it’s from four years ago.
That’s a picture of extras from
the movie Dunkirk, taken in 2016.
Grill: Oh. Damn it.
Brew: But, on that topic, when was the first video game made?
Grill: Sonic 64, 1992.
Brew: I don’t- no, that’s not-
Chill: Oh, um um Wii Sports!
Brew: Not even close!
Grill: Ugh, I don’t know, something in 89 probably.
The Atari?
Brew: Do you just keep those in your pockets at all times?
It’s still debated what the first video game
was, though Tennis for Two is among the first.
Played on an oscilloscope screen, the game was like many of
the 2D tennis games that have come out since, released in...
1958.
Grill: Wait, 58?
Brew2: That’s right, but it’s not even the first.
There are other video games that predate it.
Brew: The point of this is that oftentimes,
things are older than we think they are.
Brew2: Much older.
In the case of our chronologically confused hipster, while
he may look like he’s flaunting the fashion and technology
trends of the modern day, that is decidedly not the case.
Let’s break down his appearance, piece by piece.
Grill: Let’s start with that graphic tee, how do
you explain that one, coffee man from the future?
Brew2: Well, it’s a hockey jersey.
Specifically for the Montreal Maroons, an NHL team that played
between 1924 and 1938, a few years before the photo was taken.
Grill: And what about the sunglasses then, wise guy?
Brew: Sunglasses aren’t new.
Here’s a question, when do you think aviators were a thing?
Grill: 1980—right before Top Gun
came out and made them even better.
Brew: Try the 1920s!
Designed to help pilots see despite the glare
of the sun in the early days of aviation, the
distinctive aviator style of sunglasses were
marketed as early as the 1930s to the general public.
Brew2: Seems like they really flew off the shelves.
Brew: Hahahaha! Because aviators!
Brew2: And they fly!
Grill: And I thought one Brew was bad enough!
Chill: But, what about the camera he’s holding?
I thought old timey cameras were big!
Brew: Well, the fact of the matter
is, that camera is old timey.
Brew2: Our mystery hipster is holding a Kodak 35, the
first 35mm camera produced by Kodak, that was released
in 1938, three whole years before the photo was taken.
Brew: And here’s the thing, since everything that makes
this fellow look like a time traveler is actually from
that period, it may actually be harder to get them these
days than when those things were new and available.
Grill: Well you may have thoroughly debunked
the fun of one mystery, but what about
those chronologically-challenged cellphones? Huh?
Brew: They’re not cellphones.
Brew2: They’re cameras!
The image in question from the Mike Tyson match,
despite the modern appearance, seems to be a
Casio QV-100 camera or Logitech Dycam camera.
Grill: But, what about the Charlie Chaplin lady?
Brew: Yeah, what about her, future me?
Brew2: Well, here’s the thing, we’re making
a lot of assumptions here about a video
that isn’t in the highest resolution.
The belief that she’s holding a cellphone seems to
be because of the way her hand is placed to her head.
And yes, if we look at this video again, we can see
that there is a lady, and she’s holding her hand
up to the side of her face and seemingly talking.
But that could mean anything.
Maybe she’s just shielding her face
from the sun while talking to herself?
Grill: Talking to herself?
Who does that?
Note to self… stop talking to self in front of double Brews..
Brew2: But, let’s assume that
isn’t the case to make it more fun.
What could she be holding up to her face?
Brew: Oh, oh! May I?
Brew2: I think you’ve got it figured out.
Brew: How does “ear trumpet” sound to you?
Grill: Dumb.
It sounds dumb.
Chill: Oh is it like a little tiny
trumpet that plays in your ear?
Brew: Not quite.
As early as the 13th century, those with hearing problems have
used items such as hollowed out horns in order to hear better,
a trend which evolved in the 1700s to the “ear trumpet”, a
little trumpet-like device that funneled sounds into the ear.
Think of it like a fancier way of cupping a hand to your ear.
Thanks to the development of the telephone, hearing aid
technology also got a boost, and by 1913 the Siemens
company had released a hearing aid that could sit
in a purse, with a handset that was pressed against
the user’s ear — held very much like a telephone.
Given what little we can see of the woman, she
does appear to be of the age where a hearing aid
certainly wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility.
Besides, what kind of time traveler would go through the
trouble of finding a period appropriate outfit, then whip
out a cellphone that won’t be invented for another 80 years?
Grill: Ok, ok, but what about that guy on the beach in the
Mr. Bean suit from the 1940s?
Brew2: Oh him? Yeah, that’s not a Mr. Bean suit,
it’s just a normal suit.
Which isn’t out of place at all,
I wear my suit to the beach all the time.
It keeps sand out.
And more than likely?
He’s either rolling up some tobacco,
or just checking his pocket watch.
Well, my job here is done.
Grill: What, ruining fun?
Brew2: Pretty much!
Brew: While it can be fun to use our imagination,
it’s important to think critically about things
and remember that it can be comforting to fill
in the blanks whenever something looks off.
But until that fateful day that our future selves
return to punish us for our naivete, it’s probably
best to assume that the answer isn’t time travelers.
Grill: Well how do you explain Keanu Reeves?
Brew: Oh, he’s just breathtaking.
Grill: And the other Brew?
Brew: Well that’s just moooooovieeeeee maaaaaaaagic!
Zoom back camera!
That’s a Holy Mountain reference.